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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mumsnetters are always telling people to get a lodger

146 replies

SlothfullyYours · 06/12/2025 14:29

Have you had one? Been one? How does it work.

Do they have a shelf in the fridge? Cleaning rota? Do they use the lounge in the evening/weekends?

Can they have friends over? Boyfriend/girlfriend to sleepover?

OP posts:
JingleSprouts · 06/12/2025 15:51

@SlothfullyYours if you look on Spare room.com you can see what the going rate is for rooms in your area.

They have a lodger agreement you can download and customise.

I also looked into hosting international students on trips/studying at a local language school. But I decided that was too much chopping and changing and too much involvement (packed lunches, meals) for me.

I advertise for women only. Hasn't stopped men responding 🙄 but I've had plenty of women wanting to rent. London is hideously expensive for a one-bed flat and I've had enquiries ranging from students to mid-sixties in age. I didn't think being in a house with children would be very appealing, but plenty of people see it as having advantages over a more conventional house share.

Nourishinghandcream · 06/12/2025 15:51

My brother took in a couple of lodgers when he divorced as his house was far too big for him and living near a popular city, the (high) rent helped pay for his divorce.
Other than that, I can't think of anyone I know IRL who has done it.

Gary & Tony (MBB) always seemed to rub along and made it look fun although I think the rent (the main reason for doing it) was usually late or completely absent.

ACynicalDad · 06/12/2025 15:49

I was and had a mon-fri lodger, costs less but it’s not their main home so much less disruptive.

TinyTeachr · 06/12/2025 15:46

I've never had a lodger, but I've been one. Relatively common for uni students or such who have a placement for a few months. I was 20, and I paid for weekdays only - Saturday morning I locked my room and took the train home, came back late Sunday. I have a friend (my age, 3 kids) who lodges during the week (4 nights) as he took a job that was too far for easy commuting and he didn't want to move his wife/kids (all settled at school) for a 1 year contract.

EmpressOfTheThread · 06/12/2025 15:43

SlothfullyYours · 06/12/2025 15:29

I can see why the majority of lodgers would be men. I'd be worried about ending up as the subject of a Netflix documentary if I let to a random bloke.

You wouldn't let to a "random bloke". I let to a man who had been a colleague and friend for years, it worked out well.
Lots of women need to lodge as well, not everyone can live with parents or afford high rents for a whole property.
It's actually not the worst suggestion, because you can earn quite well from it and often allows people to stay in their home rather than sell up.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 06/12/2025 15:42

SlothfullyYours · 06/12/2025 15:29

I can see why the majority of lodgers would be men. I'd be worried about ending up as the subject of a Netflix documentary if I let to a random bloke.

My advert always says clearly women only but you would be surprised how many men ignore that. Like I am going to make an exception for someone who has already shown he will ignore boundaries 🤔

About half of mine have been early career people in their 20s either saving for a house or in the process of buying one, but I have also had people doing summer jobs or academic research in the area, a live in care worker who needed somewhere to keep her stuff and stay between placements, and recently students on a placement year at a local firm. About half were English and half from overseas. It adds interest to life.
The zookeepers were best for entertaining answers to the ‘how was your day at work?’ question.

JingleSprouts · 06/12/2025 15:42

Indeedcorrect · 06/12/2025 15:14

commit to being around on certain days so there would be an adult in the house.

So presumably my you were very careful about vetting!

Edited

Yes. My lodgers have all had DBS and references.

BreakingBroken · 06/12/2025 15:42

The two people I know have spare bedroom/lounge area and bath set up for said lodger. Mini bar fridge and microwave set up.
My one neighbor exclusively rents to international female students, parents co-sign contract which includes home by 10pm no guests.

SaintlyLady · 06/12/2025 15:39

ive been a lodger and it can be VERY problematic

PollyPhonic · 06/12/2025 15:35

We had lodgers for a few years in London when my older kids went to university. I did it through an agency run by one of the mums from our primary school, which reduced the risk of problems, although she took a cut of the rent in return, so swings and roundabouts.

Her speciality was finding short-term accommodation for young interns, mainly from Germany. It worked well, and we had very few probs.

I would say think long and carefully about the layout of your house and your family's living patterns, so you can anticipate what will annoy you and put boundaries in place from the off. Especially if you have a kitchen diner you will want to give some thought to when the lodger can use the kitchen so they're not impinging on your cooking space or family time. What kind of cooking are you prepared for them to do? Heating up ready meals in the microwave or making sarnies is one thing, cooking full-on elaborate dinners is quite another. Ditto bathrooms if you don't have an additional bathroom for their exclusive use - we only had one family bathroom, so we had to tell lodgers that they would need to do leisurely bath or shower sessions in the evenings, and morning bathroom visits needed to be brief, otherwise we'd not have been able to get ready ourselves. Where and when will they do their laundry, and how will they get it dry?

Think very hard indeed about whether they can have friends staying over - we were relaxed at the start, but later moved to a hard no, as you've then got multiple people clattering around, using the bathroom/hot water supply and generally making your family house feel like a student let.

There are agencies that specialise in Monday-Friday lets, and if I were doing it again I would probably start with that, as the chance of conflict is reduced if they're not around over the weekend.

FellowSuffereroftheAbsurd · 06/12/2025 15:33

Even having had lodgers most of my adult life, I wouldn't automatically recommend it to others - it's depends on a lot of factors to determine the pros and cons of it.

I've had a lodger for over 14 years. It's a friend of my husband's who at first just needed a place to stay for a bit after his landlord decided to sell up and then it just continued on. We had a couple for 2-3 years before that who had also been friends - I don't think I'd do this with a complete stranger without using one of the vetting services I've seen advertised.

Current lodger bought his own fridge/freezer (due to the house layout, both fridge/freezers are in the dining room half of the kitchen-diner - there is no room in the kitchen part for one), has his cupboard in the kitchen, he does his laundry one day a week and asks us if he needs to use it on different days. We don't do cleaning rotas, he just cleans his own stuff and we'll discuss if there is a house project that needs all hands on deck.

Lodger used to have friends over and run regular game nights, but that stopped with COVID and his disabilities getting worse. I'm concerned for his wellbeing, that's always a hard conversation to have especially as there is that mix of being a friend and the landlady.

Previous lodgers, it was a bit awkward having that conversation, more that it was clearly a 'it's them conversation', but needs must. You can read the different laws around ending it and other parts of it here: https://www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/ending-a-letting

Rent is going to be very location based and on what agreements have been made. We've varied rent based on lodger's job changes, willing to go cheaper when he needed to get out of a horrible job for something lower paid in exchange for specific help around the house and with his car.

Rent a room in your home

Renting a room in your home out - Rent a Room Scheme, types of tenancy or licence, rent, bills, tax and ending a letting

https://www.gov.uk/rent-room-in-your-home/ending-a-letting

Konstantine8364 · 06/12/2025 15:33

I used to have lodgers when I bought my house on my own. I could just about afford the house and my horse, but I wouldn't have been able to do much. Having a lodger meant I could go on holiday and out for meals and stuff. Pre COVID I was hardly ever home and it worked well, but then covid and working from home, plus a decent pay rise for me meant I didn't need to have them anymore. I was a single women around 30 at the time and the 3 lodgers I had were all professional women of a similar age. They had a shelf in the fridge or freezer and free use of the house apart from my bedroom (and I didn't go in theirs!). I live in south Manchester near the tram and always had loads of interest and could be really selective. Their room was a decent size double in a 3 bed house, one room mine and the other spare. I wouldn't do it now, as I do prefer living on my own and I can afford it but if my finances changed and needed the money I would!

FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 15:32

My DM had one, it helped her after her divorce.

HollyChristmas · 06/12/2025 15:31

A neighbour did it , although she had previously looked after an aged relation and had part partitioned off her house ( bedroom lounge bathroom )
She made a mini kitchen with a microwave & kettle but would supply a meal if required .
It seemed to be men who worked in the area and just Monday night to Thursday night .

knitpicker · 06/12/2025 15:30

I am currently a lodger. I spend Mon - Thurs night in another city and come back to DH and kids (adults living at home) on Fri afternoon. I pay €500 to a widowed lady living on her own for a single room, shared bathroom and a shelf in the fridge. We get on great 👍🏻

SlothfullyYours · 06/12/2025 15:29

I can see why the majority of lodgers would be men. I'd be worried about ending up as the subject of a Netflix documentary if I let to a random bloke.

OP posts:
whyyousohollyjolly · 06/12/2025 15:29

I live in a city and know people who have had lodgers - usually older foreign students.

Disasterclass · 06/12/2025 15:25

We did it pre kids (DP and I). Just advertised on spare room.com. We looked on there first to get a feel for the market rate. We actually just agreed to the first person who came round and didn’t bother checking references, which seems a bit mad on reflection but he was a lovely young man.

we also had foreign students for a bit which was interesting but didn’t pay much.

Friendlygingercat · 06/12/2025 15:24

I would not feel at ease in my own home with another person there not matter how quiet or clean they were. I am too fond of my own company. I enjoy having the occasional visitor but after a couple of hours am looking at the clock and wishing them gone.

Ygfrhj · 06/12/2025 15:23

Fairly common in London. I've been a lodger and it worked fine, we lived the same as you would in a house share except the other girl owned the house.

I have friends who have been Mon-Fri lodgers. In one case the landlord didn't really want them around but needed the cash and had weird rules about what they could do. That arrangement is one that didn't last long.

Ghostsghoulsteenagers · 06/12/2025 15:23

I had a lodger for a couple of years after being made redundant - 20 years ago now but it meant I could pay my mortgage whilst I got a new self employed business off the ground . I was lucky - we got on well , we were quite close in age and are still in contact loosely now . This was in the Midlands

Catchee · 06/12/2025 15:21

I did it and it saved my house after a break up. My lodger wasn't known to me but knew a friend. He was pretty chill. Just paid for room and we shared other spaces. Kitchen etc he just used what he wanted. It was only for a year but it we became good friends and it really helped us both out. It was all pretty low key. I'm not sure I could do it on a formal basis with a complete stranger, but sometimes there is no choice. If you do it, make sure and read the law and that you are compliant on all issues too.

PumpkinTwistyWindToots · 06/12/2025 15:21

Indeedcorrect · 06/12/2025 15:18

They thought a single person with a spare room renting out to a lodger was “outrageous” @PumpkinTwistyWindToots ??

many people have said it's outrageous to exclude them from the living room. But the room was a large double with a table and chair in and it was deliberately cheap because of it. I don't mind sharing kitchen and bathroom but not living room.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 06/12/2025 15:20

I used to have a tenant in a flat I owned who (with permission) had a lodger.

She found that 98% of applicants for the room in the flat that she was letting were made by men. And she wanted a woman as a lodger. She struggled to find a woman, although had 3 over time. All OK I think.

Some of the issues she had were cooking smells from very spicy cooking. One constantly had her daughter coming to stay (wanted her to move in but there wasn't room). Another one wasn't particularly clean (although one was super clean and the place was the cleanest it had/has ever been!).

She was prepared to put up with the quirks though, to not have to worry about having a bloke living there.

Parsleyforme · 06/12/2025 15:19

I think be prepared for it to take a while to find the right person. My DBF’s mum has had many lodgers and she said they were always a certain age or type of person.
I had an ad up on SpareRoom for a few months last year and gave up. The final reply was a man in his 50s who wrote a very long message about how he has his own company and is very clean, then a P.S. that he smokes but only outside, then a P.P.S. right at the bottom – he’s a nudist. I took my post down after that and turned my spare room into a gym

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