Would this be rude?

You need to ask your boyfriend what he thinks his family will feel about this. They might welcome the suggestion to try somewhere new. They might not have realised that the hygiene ratings of the place they usually use are poor, and welcome it being brought to their attention before they get food poisoning. They might be quite excited by the idea of trying somewhere new. Or they might be very sympathetic to your obvious struggles and be happy to change or for you to get food from somewhere else. Or they might think you were insulting their choices and hate you forever for doing so.

Assuming the main point of going is to get to know his family/ make a good impression, personally I would rather give this particular type of gathering a swerve with some made up excuse than go and be fussy about the food.
I say this as someone with ocd around food - it never, ever goes down well to be fussy with food when you’re trying to make a good impression. It’s just the way it is.
My own siblings have different issues and it’s a pita trying to suit them. They are very vocal about their issues. I have always tried to hide mine. Over the years I’ve become more relaxed and expanded what I eat and in general get on with people a lot better. They are the opposite. That’s just my experience.

I don’t think it would be rude getting your own nice food. People are allowed to have choices in life and since when are we such people pleasers to eat something from somewhere that has bad ratings just to please other people. If you get ill would they be looking after you? Some people are so used to eating terrible food that you are seen as stuck up if you want fresh, nicer tasting food that has good ratings and more choices. If you can afford the more expensive option go for it. Especially if the food will be eaten at the same time…. I don’t see what the issue is. Also the person that is vegetarian doesn’t have to share with another 8 people! Because you’ll be left with nothing and you can’t eat their non vegetarian options!

Eat beforehand and just get something small.

You're there for the company presumably anyway.

Not jumping down peoples throat at all. But it seems you have made up your mind regardless of what people are suggesting.

@Christmas20 , I don't eat Chinese food (I can't keep it down), so I'd not join in with this one.
If you opt for something like a plain boiled rice, you'll get a tepid bowl of rice

Yes honestly just find "something" the takeaway has been decided the family have probably eaten there loads with nothing happening to them, you should have asked your partner to suggest your perceived better place before today, I am not trying to pick on you but you can't expect people to accommodate you, this is for you to manage,

@Christmas20
I would not eat food from anywhere that I actually knew had a low hygiene rating and I would take a different view of people who did.

It would make me think that they too were dirty sods-a bit lax about hygiene themselves.

There is no way that I would have food from that takeaway or eat it it in the dirty bugger's house.

Develop a headache at about 3.30, one which will entail you having a lie down at about 4.30 and one which sadly develops into one that means you can't go anywhere.

Let them enjoy their germ and faeces packed meal. You stay at home and have some toast.

I don't think it's rude at all. Order what you want.

I can't imagine trying to control or even caring about what someone else eats from the takeaway. Never mind giving it enough thought to find it rude.

Exactly, its one meal. So the hosts can cope. They didn't cook the Chinese takeaway, its not a slight.

Not enough serving spoons?? 😮
What a travesty... or maybe just wash one?

It's just a takeaway. It's not like anyone in the group cooked it themselves and would be insulted if you refused their handiwork. I cannot for the life of me see why it would be rude to order your takeaway from a different place just down the road. You don't even have to give a longwinded explanation. Just say you don't fancy it. I'd present them with a fait accompli - order it before you tell them - so they don't then do that annoying and awkward thing of pretending they'd be happy to order from your chosen place, while secretly feeling resentful that you've "ruined" their much-anticipated chinese meal.

Life's so much easier when everyone is honest about their food preferences and nobody takes it personally.

Personally, I would not be offended if someone did this, especially if they bought enough food for me to try too.

I don’t think it would be rude but I’m not familiar with the etiquette of family takeaway nights!

OP just go for it, who cares. As long as you are paying and collecting your own stuff I don't think its rude. Its not like they have cooked, its just a takeaway. I would ignore anyone who says its rude and sort yourself out.

Dont go… make up any excuse, so much easier to not put yourself through all this.

It would be rude, but I'd not eat at a 3 star rating either. It's not difficult to get a 5 star. If it were me, I'd not go!!

Could you get DP to do the order online, and you order what you want from the other place? As they are in the same road and you are doing the pick up, it shouldn’t be obvious that some dishes are from a different restaurant. You can swap some between the bags.

It should be easy enough to limit yourself to eating the food from the restaurant you feel comfortable with. Parents won’t know their son isn’t actually adding your food to the order.

This all falls apart if DP can’t be the one to do the ordering online though!!!

I can’t eat in public so I’m “that” person. When I met my now husband’s family they had to just accept it, I would go but not eat. They never said anything but you do feel everyone watching you and sighing. If you think this is a long term relationship potentially, then you will need to make them aware and just ride out the reactions

This comment is so weird. Where has OP said they've done anything rude? She hasn't even spoken to her partner about this yet.

That said, OP I don't think ordering your own food is rude and in fact it sets out the boundaries for future meal time interactions. As someone who hosts a lot this kind of thing wouldn't and doesn't bother me.

I can’t see why people think it’s rude. I suffer from a stomach condition that means I avoid fatty food. In this situation I’d take my own or eat earlier. I don’t consider it rude. I think it’s ruder for people to want me to be ill for days because of inappropriate food. Fortunately nobody has ever objected- not to my face anyway and they still invite me to things.

I understand totally, I would be in the same predicament... I think I would eat beforehand, then order some rice and a side dish and pretend to eat. If it's a big group of people, no one will pay any attention if you don't draw attention to yourself. (as a one-off - if you then get invited regularly you might need a long term plan with your boyfriend).

If everybody else is ordering meat dishes then this could be an issue even if OP orders her vegetarian noodle dishes from the same place as the group. If OP is vegetarian then she isn’t going to eat meat dishes even ignoring the food hygiene issue so obviously wouldn’t be sharing the dishes regardless.

Menu choices aside, a lot of take away places lose hygiene ratings because of incorrect paperwork not necessarily for actual hygiene

I'd explain about the vege options rather than the hygiene one, and explain. If you did that to me, I'd be fine with it. You're not asking them to do it for you, so shouldn't be a major issue.