Would this be rude?

I don't think it would be rude at all. Sometimes when we're having a family takeaway someone won't fancy what we're having and will order something different, and sometimes I take my own food if I'm having a flare-up of some things that takeaway food tends to exacerbate. As long as we're all eating together nobody gives a fuck.

Yes it would be incredibly rude. You can eat a few noodles or something and put up with it for one night.

@Christmas20 in my family it wouldn’t be seen as rude at all.

We regularly have takeaway nights and different people order from different places.

People who see it as “rude” are weirdos.

So much drip feeding here. We’ve gone from its fine to vegetarian, emetophobia, stomach issues, OCD and other phobias.

none of that’s an issue specifically at but it doesn’t seems to be a great idea to attend. It sounds like any meal out could be tricky for you not just the Chinese. I am not judging- I was you in my 20s due to EDs but you need to advocate for yourself.

if I was you, I’d have just said up front when it was mentioned.

“oh goodness no Chinese for me. Gives me terrible stomach acid. I’ll join your family for a meal another time”

it’s a bit late now as assume they think you’re going ?

id go with last minute headache
to not attend. And preferably get your partner onboard first or this situation could arise again.

A meal with a partner’s family for the first time is stressful enough without all the things you’ll be concerned about. Do yourself a favour and skip it

You’re putting too much emphasis here on your food preferences. You’re going along to spend time with your partner’s family, to get to know them, to show your partner that you value the people that he values.

Just eat something before you go, then order some appropriate sides to pick at. As time goes on and you all get to know each other there’ll be a perfect time to suggest other takeaways. For now, it’s about being flexible fitting into your partner’s family.

"I also suffer from stomach issues so a lot of what’s on the menu could potentially cause a flare up."

But surely that goes for any Chinese food. Even if there are more options, it's all going to be basically the same. Peppers, onions, mushrooms etc in some kind of Chinese type sauce.

People are weird on here. Wouldnt bother me.

This thread just reveals how horrible so many people are.

OP - you do you, you know what is right for you and what a stupid thing for people to criticise you for. Normal loving families would accept whatever it is that you want to do - you're not changing what they're doing and you're doing something that is physically and mentally right for you. Don't over explain, just say the vegetarian choice thing and make as little comment and fuss as possible. Your dp is supportive and that's all you need. The family will need to get used to you and be accepting of who and what you are. All too often we try and bend ourselves to suit others...it's pointless and just leads to unstable, unhappy relationships. Just be you and order the food you can eat and will enjoy. It's more important that you're happy and relaxed than stressing about food.

I wouldn’t mind. I’d rather you felt comfortable whilst at my home x

It would be unreasonable to insist that everyone orders from your preferred restaurant.

But I don’t think it’s rude if you bring your own takeaway. It’s not like you’re turning down their homemade cooking for it. Would your partner order from the same one as you?

Order from the other place, pick it up, mark it veggie, put it in along with the other food. Don’t mention it, no-one will care

I would avoid it completely until you feel better able for this situation.

I think you need to talk to your boyfriend as he will know better how they are likely to react. I can see that some people would see it was rude. I think you might come across as being funny with food if they don't know you well and could create a slightly off impression of you. But it shouldn't be difficult to talk to your boyfriend about it!

Where did OP jump down someone's throat? I haven't read anything like that. It's just a comment 🤷🏼‍♂️ sorry to invalidate your comment though.

OP speak to your DP sooner the better.
If they're already understanding of your health and hygiene food situation then you have nothing to lose.
I'm sure his family won't be offended.

As it's only a takeaway and not a sit down restaurant meal I don't see the big deal in your wanting to get your food from somewhere else. You're a vegetarian, there's not much on offer at the Chinese they use and you're concerned that food will affect your stomach due to stomach issues.

Have a lovely time with your DP and their family

I don't care if it's a snapshot of one hour!

Also @Christmas20 has said its reviews bear its muckiness out!

I am the same with food (I've got endometriosis in my bowel and I have to be really careful) so I get where you're coming from, but seriously, this could be sorted with a 2 minute conversation with your partner. It's easy.

'Please can you have a chat with your family about ordering from this other place so I have more choice'

is completely reasonable and normal.

Bloody hell, how uptight are some of you lot? I wouldn’t think it was rude at all if I was the OP’s hosts.

And as for ‘imposing this on other people’ - how exactly?! It’s not inconveniencing anyone else in any way, especially if OP is picking up and paying for it. Not to mention the fact that OCD and phobias of this sort of thing are not taken as serious issues. I bet if OP said she had issues with food due to a condition like autism, there’d be at least a bit more empathy.

Maybe it’s because I also have OCD (not related to germs/food before anyone accuses me of being awkward like OP), that I have a bit more compassion.

I appreciate there is the potential that the family will be judgemental towards OP for it if they knew, but that’s more a reflection on them. That said, OP, if it’s possible to hide the fact yours is from the other place then that might be worth a go. Good luck.

I would not see it as rude - just say you really like one. More than the other and you can still eat together

it’s kind of stupid to insist people order from the same place when it’s a takeaway.

Everyone is making a mountain out of a molehill. In her place I would not ask beforehand but just press ahead. Op has already explained in one response that the two restaurants are in the same street and they are picking up the food rather than having it delivered. Therefore it seems little extra trouble to collect her veggie dishes from the other restaurant and pay herself. OP can announce that she has brought in her own (because of lack of chice at the other restaurant) but dd a couple of generic dishes for others to help themselves. Its not as though she is causing major inconvenience for the other guests. They will in the future remember that she is a veggie and make sure there are some attractive options for her.

In your shoes I would order chips (zero risk of food poisoning) with another dish, get your partner on board and ask her to eat some of the other dish and you just have mostly chips. No one would notice and it doesn’t draw attention to yourself. I am a massive people pleaser though!

I would also cancel if this was me, it would just be far too awkward, for everyone, I know other posters are saying "i wouldn't mind" but i think in reality there would be a weird atmosphere about it.

No. Just eat before you go and have for example
Spicy chips
Egg fried rice
Vegetables in a black bean sauce or similar
Veggie spring rolls

Sorted. Don't make yourself out a drama queen

Honestly, I would make my excuses and not go.

The main part of the evening is ordering and eating the takeaway and I think you risk making a bad impression by needing to be different.

I do understand your reasons and if it was good friends or family then I wouldn’t see an issue.
But I think this will end up badly for you so I personally would just avoid it completely and spend time with them more doing other things for a while.

Personally I wouldn't mind at all. I have a DSIS who needs to order from specific places due to dietary needs, and a DS with emetophobia so I'm used to dealing with anxiety around restaurants. If someone was coming to my house I'd want them to feel as comfortable as possible.

Why don't you phone them up and say this to them. It'll stop the awkwardness of them suspecting you are thinking this and they can know not to invite you in future. Then you won't have to worry about it again.

I assume people like this don't know too much about the inspections. It's a snapshot of one day, and you can guess when abouts they're coming often.
So those with a 5 rating may well have had a couple of weeks of being careful...