Would this be rude?

I'd just eat what is put in front of me (perhaps not too much of it) and hope for the best. You aren't allergic to anything and you are their guest so it's just good manners.

I don't think it would be rude as such. As the host I'd probably just be like okay lets just all order from there then...but I'm easy breazy. Some people are proper weird about things. Getting together with family, eating, drinking, chatting, laughing would be the main thing for me, plus getting to know the new spouse of a family member, I wouldn't care if you wanted to order something different.

Perhaps the family have always used the same takeaway and trust the staff.
We used to eat from a place that didn't have a 5* rating as it was in an old building with uneven floors in the kitchen.

First sentence of the OP I am going to a family takeaway night tonight with my partner’s family.

I don't think it is at all rude, and I would have no problem with a guest doing this. The plan you have described sounds excellent as it shouldn't inconvenience anyone or require them to spend extra, and you are planning to keep quiet about the food hygiene issue so as to avoid the risk of offending them.

I reckon just do it and own it. No one will really care, it is still a shared experience as you will all still be having a takeaway.

I used to over think a lot of things like this but have learnt with some examples of some fairly blunt and straightforward friends who would do exactly this and not agonise for hours over it that no one bats an eyelid if you’re just upfront and confident with it.

why should you eat crappy plain noodles when you know you can get something else up the road? Regardless of the food rating?? No one would care if you said you didn’t like Chinese and rolled up with fish and chips! I would think you far stranger if you didn’t eat anything/very little.

good luck- you’ve got this!!

Realistically the restaurant you are at won’t allow you to eat another restaurants food unless you are getting takeaway?

as you’re veggie, you’re collecting them and they’re on the same road, I think it’s fine.

just say ‘I love the veggie food at this place so mines from there’..

you’re not obviously casting aspersions on their choices. I wouldn’t mind at all.

Not when there is one vegetarian and everyone else are meat eaters.

You have to reserve the one (or two) veggie options for the vegetarian otherwise what happens is the meat eaters eat everything and the vegetarian is left with either nothing or very little to eat. This generally always happens at collective spreads so you have to plan for it.

Well not really, the OP could say that she has eaten that specific meal before with no resulting problems.

Why would it be rude

If you do decide to bring your own food, avoiding Chinese is the way to go. That way you can blame it on your delicate stomach and finding the spices overpowering, it kind of spoils the logic if you bring the same type of food.

Tbh OP I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you simply said I’m veggie and takeaway 2 has better options as a host I’d look at their menu and if it would work for everyone we’d all get from there otherwise just order separately

And having a 5 food rating definitely doesn’t equate to being more expensive. I’ve eaten from cheap random chicken places that have a 5 rating. It’s not expensive to be hygienic and practise good food safety standards

Can’t you just take some food from home, like a Chinese ready meal for example? That’s what I would do in your situation.

Ideally your partner could have steered his family towards a takeaway place that is acceptable to you ahead of time.

However, if it’s too late for that and you know you can’t eat food from the place they are ordering I think it’s ok to say you want to order from another place as the vegetarian options are better for you and you have a delicate stomach.

Somebody brought their own food to my wedding because they are a very fussy eater and I didn’t hold it against them!

Also, when I was pregnant I was really nauseous and so took my own food to a family event because I knew I couldn’t eat what was offered. I knew some people would find it weird and possibly rude but I had to do what was best for me regardless. I think as long as you are friendly and nice it will be ok - unless they are determined to see it as ‘rude’, in which case there’s nothing you can do!

Yeah, but 3 hygiene stars ISN'T good enough for her, and nor should it be. I just can't understand why fitting in is more important than being honest and everyone being happy with what they're eating. She's even got the get-out clause of the vegetarian options, so she doesn't have to mention the hygiene thing if she doesn't want to. All those who prioritise adhesion to "fitting in" - are you really saying you'd rather your relative's partner on these holidays/restaurant meals with compulsory food choices was unhappy, just so that you could preserve the illusion of everyone enjoying the same thing?

I don’t know if it’s rude though, it’s literally a hygiene issue and therefore shielding herself from potential food poisoning. And nearly everywhere I know has a 5 rating, so 3 genuinely seems shocking and so I don’t think it’s the OP being fussy. if it was a case of OP just wanting a 3 Michelin restaurant, then yeah, but wanting a 5* hygiene food safety rating is just standard, in my opinion.

I’m actually surprised the restaurant is still running - with the rating and bad reviews.

Just don't go. I'm vegan, and if people were ordering from somewhere that didn't have much for me, I'd say sorry guys, I'll sit this one out. Then they have the option of either saying ok see you next time, or asking for my suggestions for a different place.

Why on earth did you agree to go to a takeaway evening if you knew how difficult you would find it? Yes, what you’re suggesting is rude and you know it, despite trying to justify yourself.

You're partner just needs to say "hey all, I've heard <your choice> is good, let's try there tonight for a change"

He doesn't need to mention you at all. If he won't do this basic thing for you, then he's a twat

Yes it’s rude - you are saying their usual takeaway place isn’t good enough for you. They aren’t going to believe that the other place so many different vegetarian options that you couldn’t just order with the, you just come across as fussy and someone that wants to eat somewhere “better” and more expensive. They’ll be wondering how you will cope with other family meals and restaurants if the relationship continues or will you be bringing/buying your own “better food” all the time.

Going to a different take away is odd but if you can't eat from their choice I would it to bring a home-made or shop bought dish that could be shared and blame it on stomach sensitivities

Eat before you go so you arem't hungry and then just order something you are comfortable with and pick at is so nobody notices
Ordering from somewhere else will be seen as rude and a bit odd

Wrong thread?