Would this be rude?

I dont see why you cant do this. People need to be accepting. Youre not giving them any more work. Hope it goes well.

I couldn’t eat it either OP.
Can you not just decline the invitation?

This is such a good response.

It's about the shared experience

This is the important thing OP

You could say you’ve eaten from there before and it made you ill. I’d have no issue with a guest telling me that and would be very happy to order from elsewhere.

Ita the first time, id want to make a good impression. Just order a plainish noodle dish and get on with it.

You need to do what’s best for you. As a host it wouldn’t bother me at all if you needed to order separately due to health/wellbeing reasons. I’d be more upset if you felt you couldn’t, ate what everyone was having and made yourself ill. You can’t go about life making yourself ill for fear of people judging you.

Actually yes if you’re going to do it this is the way to handle it.

That sound fine to me. You should order the food that meets your needs

Not rude at all, unless they're precious. I'd be offended if you didn't ask!

This wouldn't bother me at all, if you turned up and said "I'll order from somewhere else because there are nicer veggie options" I'd think yeah fair enough, but most people are easily offended with massive sticks up their arses, so 🙄

Eat before you go and pick at it if you want to avoid a fuss, but if this is a long-term partner whose family you like and plan to know for a long time, best to rip the plaster off and be honest about your preferences and they can take you as you are imo.

If they have a problem with this, then you have a long and difficult road ahead. If they're normal and don't have a problem with it, it sounds like you'll all get along great.

I wouldn't have a problem with this.

Have you actually spoken to DP about this @Christmas20 and what did he say?

Perhaps just frame it as allergies and intolerances and “please don’t think me being rude but would you mind if I bring my own from a place where I’ve used before and I know is okay for my dietary needs”

And I would perhaps pick it up on the way and bring it with you and reheat when everyone else’s arrive, rather than overtly ordering from a much nicer place.

and don’t worry - I’ve walked out of a place once that DPs family chose to eat when we arrived and I saw the absolute state of it. got a bit of a roasting but IDGAF

There’s no need to be this rigid over a bloody takeaway.

If you are paying you can do what you want.

If anyone thinks it is rude then that’s their problem.

I wouldn't order from a take away restaurant with a rating of 3 for food hygiene, emetophobia or not.
You can't tell them that though.
Wondering if you could just bring your own food to reheat there? You don't really have to justify yourself, just say you're a bit fussy with food. It could come across as odd but if they're open people it should be fine.

I can’t see the problem here at all. Order what you like from where you want. I wouldn’t want anyone to eat something they dont feel comfortable with for any reason. And I wouldn’t take huge offence for it or think you are being difficult. You are all grown ups who can make choices and that includes not being offended by what another adult wishes to eat.

I don't think it's rude either. You are picking it up so it's easy enough to organize to pick up at the same time as the Chinese food because it's in the same street.

Just say it's because you're vegetarian and there's more choice at the other place.

No one would bat an eyelid among my friends and family if someone did this.

Otherwise, you could do what others have suggested and eat something beforehand and then pick something innocuous from the chinese and just pick at it. You could also bring snacks or whatever to share after the meal.

I don’t think it’s rude. I would understand someone wanting more options from a different place. Also, would go out of my way to make you feel comfortable as it’s the first time you’ll be meeting them.

If sharing food with vegetarians or someone with another diet restriction then making sure that person has enough to eat is pretty obvious. Just order some extra noodles or whatever for them.

Also, @Christmas20I don’t have OCD or food anxiety but I wouldn’t use somewhere with a 3 rating,

Tell your partner and decide what to do.

And that would be bloody ridiculous. Fuck sake.

Yes I think you should do it.
If you speak up this time it will be easier next time. Whether they find it odd or rude depends on their values.
My values would be that I would want to be accommodating to someone rather than have them struggle with the food that was on offer and I would not find it rude.

So many strange and uptight people commenting!

It wouldn't bother me at all, a good host wants their guests to enjoy themselves and have a pleasant meal. No way would I want anyone to be forcing down food they didnt like, or that may make them feel unwell, that's just bonkers.

It's not like a family member is cooking, it's a takeaway and so easy for everyone to get what they like from wherever they like.

This. Its not difficult and it's not rude!

I dont think its rude at all.
What difference does it make .
They order one place you order from another . You all eat in the end.
I also wouldn't go to a place with 3 star . Its just sensible.
I can't believe so many comments on here. Has noone ever been in social situation and you order from more then one place ? Based on people's taste and diet requirements?? . Its not a big deal.

People who are saying the hygiene ratings don’t matter..the OP says the reviews are bad and people have become ill. Who wouid want to eat there?! Maybe the parents don’t know.

The DP should forward them the reviews