Would this be rude?

This is really sensible. I wouldn’t especially mind if someone did this, but I’ll be blunt and say that my mum & her generation of my family (55-65)would find it really insulting; you’d be seen as turning your nose up at their choice and having to be special and get something from somewhere more expensive.

It might be harsh and judgemental but I think a lot of families would think you were being precious, neurotic and a pain in the arse.

I have issues not dissimilar to you (ED and some other stuff) and I would avoid creating faff for everyone by eating beforehand and ordering something safe. Minimal attention drawn, no need to think about it too much in the run up, and no conversations to make me self conscious.

The reality is that other people just experience this as a nice simple sociable night in, and you’ll definitely be perceived as “hard work” if you insist on your own special food from a separate (posher) place. Might not be fair, especially given you’re working on it, but I reckon that’s how it will land.

I hardly think that's fair when one diner is vegetarian though

Maybe a bit late now but I wouldn't see this as a problem at all. Maybe as my kids are a bit fussy so it isn't unheard of for us to order different foods or go to food halls so we can all order different foods. If my sons girlfriend suggested a different place to eat as it had a better veggie/vegan menu, as long as it was a similar budget I would be happy to switch but would not be offended if she wanted to order somewhere else. Would rather she was happy eating than finding out later down the line that she wasn't enjoying herself with us due to such a minor issue that can easily be resolved. Hope you enjoy your evening and in future talk it through with your boyfriend, he sounds supportive and xould have let you know what he thoight the response would have been like.

Ooo in this case, don’t tell them you’re ordering from somewhere else and just collect it as normal. See if you can swing an extra bag from the other place and remove the receipt.

No i dont think its rude. Id want everyone to feel comfy in my house. Besides there may be food they serve in your takeaway that they'd want to order

Can you have your partner suggest another location to order from ? I totally understand where you’re coming from - but they might think you’re a little precious.

I wouldn't eat from somewhere with a 3 rating either. Yes, it could be paperwork, but also they could have inappropriate handwashing or storage. I'm amazed by the amount of people that would happily, knowingly eat from here. Just to add, whilst meat is often a food poisoning culprit, reheated rice if not brought to temperature is dangerous.

If my son bought a girl to a family take away and she wanted and needed to do this I wouldn’t mind at all.
People saying it’s rude and you’ll be seen by the family as ‘that girlfriend’ is a reflection of them.
Dont do something that will make you unhappy to please others. If this relationship ship is for life it will end up many years of unhappy years people pleasing.
Hope all goes well.

No its not rude. Im also vegetarian and find it hard to order from a chinese. They also find the concept of vegetarianism hard so often say things are vegetarian when theyre not (crab, prawns etc they think is vegetarian). If you do have to order i would suggest vegetable chow mein and chips although they often fry meat products with the chips too! Id order from somewhere else. As long as youre paying for your own it shouldnt matter to anyone else

I think you just have to choose the best of what there is and try to enjoy it. I think it would look really awkward if you tried to be different. You must see that or you wouldn't be asking the question.

Tbh i dont think its rude to say, sorry but as theres not much vegetarian options there i was going to try X place in stead if no-one minds. Is there anything from there anyone else would like?

If you’re collecting the food, I’d order from both places and they may not even notice. If they do, explain you’re vegetarian and it was better options. I’ve been vegetarian for years, generally I take what I want from my order and then put any left for others to share.

Only if they are twats.

I’d imagine the risks of being ill from eating vegetable based dishes are very minimal versus chicken / other meat just steer clear from rice too and something like a veggie curry and noodles or a chow mein would be fine. Most Chinese restaurants offer the vast majority of their dishes with a vegetable only option

I'm the MIL in this situation and I don't think you're being rude or weird. We often order from different takeaways, its the eating together part that's fun. Insisting you all have to order from the same place is weird and controlling imo.

I would think it very rude. There are veggie options so order one of them

I literally wouldn’t give a stuff if you did this when visiting me. All I’m bothered about when ordering takeaway food is what I’m having.

Perfect!

Depends on the family, as some people order their own dish and eat that whereas other families share everything out on the table.

Ask your partner to casually point out lack of veggie options and get him to order some dishes from the other place for you and some he would like too.

Of course it's not rude, they haven't exactly spent hours preparing the meal. You aren't expecting them to change where they go or find a solution for you, it literally doesn't affect them at all. If someone did this at mine and was paying for and sorting it themselves I'd not give it a second thought. I wouldn't talk about you or call you 'that' girlfriend - now that actually is rude.

I'd be way more bothered if someone stayed at home or made themselves uncomfortable just for fear of offending me. It's not like the takeaway is owned by them.

It would be rude. Could you go round a bit later, say that something has come up but you’d still love to come over? Then have whatever food you want and arrive after they’ve eaten?

Why would they suddenly decide they want someone else's food? That is what would make it weird.

Same. As a host I just want guests to feel comfortable and have a nice time. What difference does it make to the rest of us if one person wants to pick up something different, for perfectly good reasons?

I'd often get sushi when dhs family gets dominoes. Nobody cares

I'm sure the people you are going to see would rather you ge comfortable from where you get your food from.
If it was me I'd have no problem with you order from somewhere else.

But don't mention the food rating just say the other place has better veggie options.