What on earth do I do? NC problems with family

27 replies

NCproblems · 06/12/2025 10:03

I’ve been NC with my family for years. I live quite far from them (1.5 hour drive). Where I live is quite secluded and not much round here (only a couple of small shops small
cafe etc) not really anywhere you’d choose to go if you lived somewhere with more and there’s nothing of any great interest / attraction here.

I don’t know why but the family members I’m NC with keep visiting. I had to walk out of the cafe in shock the other day when I saw them , prior to that dp had told me he was sure he had seen them in the local shop a couple weeks before . This is typical ‘destabilising’ behaviour they’ve used in the past to make me feel anxious.

I know it’s a free country but why would they be doing this. I feel like moving as can’t cope with it .

OP posts:

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 07/12/2025 07:38

Did they see you or DP and attempt to converse with you? If not then they are absolutely trying to intimidate you by being there. I understand NC was due to abuse so this is a very toxic dynamic.

It would make me quite anxious to be honest. I would continue as you are at the moment but if they do approach you then I would consider moving.

Lalalauraaa · 07/12/2025 08:09

This must be really distressing for you OP.

I know it may come across as a bit dramatic but I really think given all you've said here, you should think about reporting this to the police. It sounds like stalking (at the least harassment.) Have a look at the charity Palladin's website. They support those experiencing stalking and provide really great advice. Keep a diary and document everything - who, what, why, where and when. Also, how it made you feel and whether it caused you to change your daily habits/routine

You can apply privately to get a non-molestation order through the family courts or if you report to the police they can apply for a restraining order upon conviction.

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