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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

over a bloody booster seat 🥵

393 replies

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 08:54

My 9 year old is being taken to a party in Manchester (1 hour journey) today by the birthday girls parents. She is 134cm (she’s a bit less actually but because her Dad told her she’s that, she’s sticking to it)

Sges currently sobbing and shouting (since 7am off & on) because I’m insisting she has her booster seat when all the other 7 kids won’t have one. She said she’s going to get laughed at and she just wants to fit in & be the same. I’ve tried to be understanding, I’ve said blame it on me, I’ve said they’re not good friends etc.

AIBU to stick to my rule? She’s nearly there but technically still needs a booster until 135cm. I’m just worn down as she’s been crying over this ALL morning🙄

OP posts:
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5
snoopythebeagle · 06/12/2025 09:34

I can't imagine fighting this battle for the sake of 1-2cm.

thevassal · 06/12/2025 09:33

OP are you this rigid about rule following normally? It really is incredibly extreme to be prepared to upset your child this much for the sake of 1cm!

And you're still twisting it around to be about the way she spoke to you rather than admitting to her you were wrong on this one! She was making a fuss because this is important to her and you weren't listening.

c2025 · 06/12/2025 09:33

Yanbu. My 9 year old is still in a booster as frankly a car seat belt is not safe on him. It cuts across his tummy and neck.

How does an adult seat belt sit on your daughter?

Theroadt · 06/12/2025 09:33

Have to say what a horrid group of friends if the threat of being laughed at/bullied/ is real. If. But frankly a rule is a rule - otherwise what other ones are you going to be ok breaking (is the lesson your daughter will learn).

herbalteabag · 06/12/2025 09:32

She will feel really embarrassed and she's almost the correct height. I wouldn't bother about it personally.

Original poster
StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 09:32

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/12/2025 09:14

Obviously it’s up to you whether you let it go for 1cm (since you’ve said the driver won’t mind), but I certainly wouldn’t be letting a 9yr old have a tantrum and try to dictate a safety issue. Embarrassment doesn’t trump safety.

Yes I will be having a chat with her about this, definitely. Thank you, I sent her off without the seat.

OP posts:
SP2024 · 06/12/2025 09:32

I’d absolutely be making her have a booster. It’s really not safe even at 135cm, nearer to 150cm is better otherwise they risk submarining under the seatbelt in an accident. Can you use something like a trunki or a bubble bum seat? I guess the question is - if they did have had an accident and she was injured would you be able to live with yourself if you’d agreed for her not to have a booster?

ZebraPyjamas · 06/12/2025 09:32

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:26

Oh don't tell me, the person who designed the 3-point seatbelt system is sexist. Is that right?

Okay, put a 9 year old in a booster seat and embarrass her in front of her friends. Brilliant parenting, that.

I'm sorry, I really am. I understand it's the law and I'd never dispute a safety issue, but I never had a booster seat and it's mindblowing to me now that it's legislation.

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We didn’t have seat belts in cars when I was a child, is it mind blowing to you that those are legislation now too???

Safety first, OP said child is actually less than 134cm. No 135cm isn’t a magic number but that height was chosen for a reason. Child will not be traumatised by a bit of teasing from friends but could be seriously injured if not properly restrained in case of an accident. I actually am gobsmacked by all the responses saying don’t bother with the booster!

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/12/2025 09:30

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:26

Oh don't tell me, the person who designed the 3-point seatbelt system is sexist. Is that right?

Okay, put a 9 year old in a booster seat and embarrass her in front of her friends. Brilliant parenting, that.

I'm sorry, I really am. I understand it's the law and I'd never dispute a safety issue, but I never had a booster seat and it's mindblowing to me now that it's legislation.

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You are disputing a safety issue. Which is fair enough - it’s fair enough to dispute whether 1cm will make a difference.

But if we were in Ireland OP’s DD would be 16cm below the legal height.

Is the UK recklessly lax about it? Or is Ireland (and others) overly cautious?

TheNightingalesStarling · 06/12/2025 09:30

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:26

Oh don't tell me, the person who designed the 3-point seatbelt system is sexist. Is that right?

Okay, put a 9 year old in a booster seat and embarrass her in front of her friends. Brilliant parenting, that.

I'm sorry, I really am. I understand it's the law and I'd never dispute a safety issue, but I never had a booster seat and it's mindblowing to me now that it's legislation.

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Why bother wearing a seatbelt. People never used to...

Car safety has moved on since the days if putting a baby in a basket on the seat next to you.

Original poster
StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 09:29

Seeline · 06/12/2025 09:11

I don't think you're being ridiculous at all! An hours drive is not a short local trip. If the driver is having to put up with a load of excitable 9 yos they could easily be distracted.
The law is there for a reason. My DD didn't reach 135cm until the end of the summer before starting secondary (small, summer born), and used her booster until then.

Thank you! I didn’t think I was being ridiculous either! But I’ve told her I understand why and that I don’t want her to be taken the piss out of so today she doesn’t have to have it.

OP posts:
HereintheloveofChristIstand · 06/12/2025 09:29

Lovely. So you are happy to humiliate her over 1 cm and your primary focus is on how SHE is speaking to you.

Grumpytoady · 06/12/2025 09:29

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:19

150cm is 4'11". There are fully grown adults that height, do they need a booster seat, too? My mind is racing right now.

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hahaha I thought the same thing, Im barely over that as an adult and certainly as a teen I was way under and I wasn’t wearing a booster seat 🤣

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:28

Runnersandtoms · 06/12/2025 09:24

It's not about being told off by the police....it's about safety!!

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The police will notice a lack of a booster seat if they also see a small child in the back of the car. So yes, she will get told off by the police if they pull her over.

DemonsandMosquitoes · 06/12/2025 09:26

Wouldn’t bother me. But mine are 23 and 20 now and this seems like a drop in the ocean.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:26

ThisMintSwan · 06/12/2025 09:23

They'd be safer in a booster. It's about where the seatbelt hits. They weren't designed for women and children.

Show quote history

Oh don't tell me, the person who designed the 3-point seatbelt system is sexist. Is that right?

Okay, put a 9 year old in a booster seat and embarrass her in front of her friends. Brilliant parenting, that.

I'm sorry, I really am. I understand it's the law and I'd never dispute a safety issue, but I never had a booster seat and it's mindblowing to me now that it's legislation.

Runnersandtoms · 06/12/2025 09:24

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:15

Goodness me this is such nanny state bs. Don't bother with the booster seat. Even if the police do spot something off, they can't measure your kid, can they? All the trouble they'd get into.....

It's not about being told off by the police....it's about safety!!

awaynboilyurheid · 06/12/2025 09:23

Ilovemychocolate · 06/12/2025 09:02

Your poor daughter.
Why would you willingly do this to her?

This! your in for issues in teenage years to come if your this controlling
Pick your battles

ThisMintSwan · 06/12/2025 09:23

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:19

150cm is 4'11". There are fully grown adults that height, do they need a booster seat, too? My mind is racing right now.

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They'd be safer in a booster. It's about where the seatbelt hits. They weren't designed for women and children.

tripleginandtonic · 06/12/2025 09:22

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 09:03

Because I want her to be safe on a long journey in the rain the morning after a lot of Xmas parties where people have been very pissed

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I wouldn't let ger go at all because it sounds like an accident waiting to happen, regardless of the booster seat.
Honestly OP get a grip, she'll be fine.

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/12/2025 09:20

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:19

150cm is 4'11". There are fully grown adults that height, do they need a booster seat, too? My mind is racing right now.

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I was just making the point that this isn’t an area where the UK goes particularly strict.

SeriaMau · 06/12/2025 09:20

134cm is not some magic number: above safe, below unsafe. Just use your common sense.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:19

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/12/2025 09:17

The UK isn’t particularly nanny state over car seats really. A lot of countries have higher height limits - 150cm isn’t uncommon.

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150cm is 4'11". There are fully grown adults that height, do they need a booster seat, too? My mind is racing right now.

Exasperateddonut · 06/12/2025 09:18

It’s not about being a baby. It’s about being safe. Europe has car seats until 150cm for good reason.

This is a hill I’d die on - seat belts don’t fit well until about 150cm. If it was a local trip then perhaps. But not distance.

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/12/2025 09:17

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:15

Goodness me this is such nanny state bs. Don't bother with the booster seat. Even if the police do spot something off, they can't measure your kid, can they? All the trouble they'd get into.....

The UK isn’t particularly nanny state over car seats really. A lot of countries have higher height limits - 150cm isn’t uncommon.