Page 10 | over a bloody booster seat 🥵

StarDolphins · 2025-12-06T08:54:19+00:00

My 9 year old is being taken to a party in Manchester (1 hour journey) today by the birthday girls parents. She is 134cm (she’s a bit less actually but because her Dad told her she’s that, she’s sticking to it) Sges currently sobbing and shouting (since 7am off & on) because I’m insisting she has her booster seat when all the other 7 kids won’t have one. She said she’s going to get laughed at and she just wants to fit in & be the same. I’ve tried to be understanding, I’ve said blame it on me, I’ve said they’re not good friends etc. AIBU to stick to my rule? She’s nearly there but technically still needs a booster until 135cm. I’m just worn down as she’s been crying over this ALL morning🙄

Original poster

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 10:36

pinkstripeycat · 06/12/2025 10:30

Is the booster seat you use a full body seat (like a aeroplane seat) or just a square that just sits on the main seat of the car to ensure the seatbelt fits correctly? If it just the square that sits on top in the event of an accident the booster will come out from under the child sitting on it anyway.

My brother in law was a firefighter for 25 years and he always said how useless the square ones were. So many RTCs where the booster pad just flies out as it’s only the child’s weight keeping it in place.

It’s not a wrap one, it’s just the square one that sits on the seat to lift her.

OP posts:

TheNightingalesStarling · 06/12/2025 10:35

Its only 1cm under.
Its only half a pint over the limit.
That tyre is only 0.5mm under the limit
I was only going at 80mph
He's doing his test next week, he's fine
I'll pay my car insurance next week
The Mot will be fine for another month

They are all arbitrary laws really... but all are there for a reason!

Needspaceforlego · 06/12/2025 10:35

pinkstripeycat · 06/12/2025 10:30

Is the booster seat you use a full body seat (like a aeroplane seat) or just a square that just sits on the main seat of the car to ensure the seatbelt fits correctly? If it just the square that sits on top in the event of an accident the booster will come out from under the child sitting on it anyway.

My brother in law was a firefighter for 25 years and he always said how useless the square ones were. So many RTCs where the booster pad just flies out as it’s only the child’s weight keeping it in place.

You can get some of the cushions with guides for the seatbelts also some have Isofix. Not easy to find but they do exist.
They were just becoming available when I was looking for my oldest child.

mitochondrialdna · 06/12/2025 10:33

To re-phrase the question: should you / the driver break the law because you and the other adults are too craven to stand up to a 9 year old having a strop?

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules

Child car seats: the law

The rules for child car seats and booster seats - height, weight, age, type of vehicle, car, minibus, licensed taxi

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules

JemimaTiggywinkles · 06/12/2025 10:31

If car seat belts are so unsafe for small people, why do countries legislate for booster seats rather than mandate higher standards for car manufacturers? It seems daft everyone buying and ferrying boosters for 10yo (and adult women) when car builders could just design slightly lower sitting / adjustable seat belts.

Namechangedforthis25 · 06/12/2025 10:31

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:26

Oh don't tell me, the person who designed the 3-point seatbelt system is sexist. Is that right?

Okay, put a 9 year old in a booster seat and embarrass her in front of her friends. Brilliant parenting, that.

I'm sorry, I really am. I understand it's the law and I'd never dispute a safety issue, but I never had a booster seat and it's mindblowing to me now that it's legislation.

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What a silly comment

yes - as with most things in life- car safety has moved on

I was taken in the back in a Moses basket

car safety is non-negotiable so I would use a booster seat. I can’t believe some of the comments on here

embarassment doesn’t trump safety

and yes seatbelts were not designed for smaller frames - that isn’t sexism per se just fact!

I mean tampons were once considered luxury items ffs - these things happen

it’s also the driver who would be liable!

pinkstripeycat · 06/12/2025 10:30

Is the booster seat you use a full body seat (like a aeroplane seat) or just a square that just sits on the main seat of the car to ensure the seatbelt fits correctly? If it just the square that sits on top in the event of an accident the booster will come out from under the child sitting on it anyway.

My brother in law was a firefighter for 25 years and he always said how useless the square ones were. So many RTCs where the booster pad just flies out as it’s only the child’s weight keeping it in place.

Original poster

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 10:25

MyDeftDuck · 06/12/2025 10:23

The driver of the vehicle is legally responsible for her whilst on the journey. Being 1 or 2 cm under height does not excuse not using the booster. If there’s an accident which will involve an enquiry by the police the driver could be prosecuted and the seat belt, even though worn, wouldn’t be as effective as a child of the specific legal height.
The other children are old enough to have this explained to them.

Yep, and I’d be left dealing with it for the rest of my life.

OP posts:

MyDeftDuck · 06/12/2025 10:23

The driver of the vehicle is legally responsible for her whilst on the journey. Being 1 or 2 cm under height does not excuse not using the booster. If there’s an accident which will involve an enquiry by the police the driver could be prosecuted and the seat belt, even though worn, wouldn’t be as effective as a child of the specific legal height.
The other children are old enough to have this explained to them.

Needspaceforlego · 06/12/2025 10:23

TheCurious0range · 06/12/2025 10:17

She's alright when she's driving but can only choose certain cars as it depends on how the seat adjusts! As a passenger she can't see much 😁. My dad is 5'7 and so is my brother, I'm the family giant at just shy of 5'10 , DH is 6'4, DS is only just 7 and will overtake my mum soon. My gran was even smaller, she used to say 4'10 and a fag paper! DH jokes with my parents that the family heirloom is a reaching stick 😂

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My mum is an elf, and has travelled in a kids booster seat, complete with back.

I drive a small car, baby seat and booster in the back both isofixed in. Can you drop Betty off? It was late at night. I didnt want to faff getting car seats out. "Betty in thr front, Mum just sit in the car seat it will be fine"

Original poster

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 10:22

sittingonabeach · 06/12/2025 10:04

@StarDolphins if you were the driver what would your stance be?

I tell parents of kids under 135cm to bring their booster seat when travelling in my car.

OP posts:

Original poster

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 10:19

Spookyspaghetti · 06/12/2025 10:00

UABU to ask MN where most people have no idea about car safety. An hour trip is presumably on the motorway, even if friends parent is a great driver other people on the road aren’t. You are completely right to do everything you can to keep you own child safe and well regardless of what others are doing and of what people say online. Do you think the ride attendant at a theme park would let an under height child on an adult ride because it was ‘just a one off.’

Absolutely! One of us was going to be unhappy today and I’ve taken it but I won’t rest until she gets back.

OP posts:

TheCurious0range · 06/12/2025 10:17

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 10:10

Adult booster seats (😂) are available to buy. If you care about the law/need one to see over the steering wheel (😂). I'm truly sorry. I'm not mocking your mum, I'm just in a fit of giggles over this.

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She's alright when she's driving but can only choose certain cars as it depends on how the seat adjusts! As a passenger she can't see much 😁. My dad is 5'7 and so is my brother, I'm the family giant at just shy of 5'10 , DH is 6'4, DS is only just 7 and will overtake my mum soon. My gran was even smaller, she used to say 4'10 and a fag paper! DH jokes with my parents that the family heirloom is a reaching stick 😂

ShesTheAlbatross · 06/12/2025 10:17

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 10:13

I'm absolutely 100% for safety. Always. I own a Volvo. It's an excellent car and safety is what Volvo are known for. It's their entire reputation. It was Volvo who patented the 3-point seatbelt.

My question is why have there been more accidents despite more safety legislation?

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Seat belt legislation isn’t designed to prevent accidents.

Yaffly · 06/12/2025 10:17

Clefable · 06/12/2025 09:53

I used to work for the emergency services and if you saw some of the shit I’ve seen, you wouldn’t be saying ‘For a one-off it’s fine’.

Those ‘one-offs’ are no less likely to result in an accident, perhaps even more so as they are often different/unusual circumstances that might naturally increase the risk of an accident (going a different/unfamiliar route, car noisier/heavier than usual/in a rush, etc). It makes us feel better to say we are only doing it this once, but that doesn’t have any material effect on the likelihood of that outing ending in an accident.

When you’ve had to speak to the parents of a child killed because they were in some shitty quality or unsuitable car seat in a crash that would have likely been survivable for them, it crystallises the mind somewhat and it’s something I don’t compromise on. Other stuff I’m far more lax about but I don’t mess around with car safety.

⬆️ This.

Original poster

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 10:16

Mumofoneandone · 06/12/2025 10:07

Where my children's safety is at risk, then yes it is a hill to die on!
My 10 yo DD is still in a high backed car seat/booster, as is my 8 yo DS. There's no dispute, even in someone else's car. They don't question it.....I'm possibly a little stricter than their dad about car seats but that's just life sometimes.
I also deal with my children being rude to me and trying to wear me down to get their own way.
So 2 issues here 1 is your DDs rudeness, the other is them understanding why safety rules are there.

Thanks and I will be having a chat with her once it’s all calmed down. She said she hates me and that I’m embarrassing and various other things with lots of eye rolling and I just can’t let that continue.

OP posts:

sittingonabeach · 06/12/2025 10:14

Shorter women drivers can be at higher risk in accidents, usually as can be too close to the air bag if it goes off. Also seat belt doesn’t always sit correctly

MenopauseSucks · 06/12/2025 10:14

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:19

150cm is 4'11". There are fully grown adults that height, do they need a booster seat, too? My mind is racing right now.

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I’m 5ft with shorter legs than torso. I use a booster cushion when I drive (a Yaris) to help me reach the pedals plus the seatbelt adjusted as low as it can go.
If I don’t use the cushion, I have to have the seat really far forward. Even with the cushion, the sun visors are useless.
A driving instructor friend suggested it as an air bag could do some serious damage when you’re very close to the steering wheel!
So not a booster seat as such but I do need a little help. The only car I have no problem driving is a BMW Isetta.

Anyway, I think the decision has to be made between the OP & the actual drivers.
Is it a hill to die on?
I’m not sure - I grew up being transported in the boot when the car was full as I was the smallest & could fit better but I think the adults should have the final say.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 10:13

sittingonabeach · 06/12/2025 10:09

@YorkshireGoldDrinker why are you belittling it?

Do you not think car seats/boosters have reduced injuries, even though many more cars on the roads?

Sweden has a very low child fatality rate in road accidents because they have very strict rules in respect of car seats

I'm absolutely 100% for safety. Always. I own a Volvo. It's an excellent car and safety is what Volvo are known for. It's their entire reputation. It was Volvo who patented the 3-point seatbelt.

My question is why have there been more accidents despite more safety legislation?

Original poster

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 10:12

YourWinter · 06/12/2025 10:06

I’d let go this time.

My DGC are aged 3 to 9. In my car the eldest uses an appropriate high back booster, and was rear -facing until almost 5. His parents had him forward facing by 18 months and using the adult seat belt, no booster, at 7. They know my opinion but I can only control what happens when DGC are travelling in my own car.

Thank you! I have let it go so she doesn’t get the piss taken out of her but I’m not happy about it.

OP posts:

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 10:10

TheCurious0range · 06/12/2025 10:06

My mum is just shy of 5 foot she often says she'd like a booster seat! Children's ones aren't wide enough to be comfortable for an adult

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Adult booster seats (😂) are available to buy. If you care about the law/need one to see over the steering wheel (😂). I'm truly sorry. I'm not mocking your mum, I'm just in a fit of giggles over this.

sittingonabeach · 06/12/2025 10:09

@YorkshireGoldDrinker why are you belittling it?

Do you not think car seats/boosters have reduced injuries, even though many more cars on the roads?

Sweden has a very low child fatality rate in road accidents because they have very strict rules in respect of car seats

FlyingApple · 06/12/2025 10:09

StarDolphins · 06/12/2025 09:35

Given that I didn’t actually say what she said to me, your reply holds no weight.

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Wow, that's me told.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 06/12/2025 10:08

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 06/12/2025 09:28

The police will notice a lack of a booster seat if they also see a small child in the back of the car. So yes, she will get told off by the police if they pull her over.

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Don't think the police will tell the child off

Seeline · 06/12/2025 10:08

She will still be safe on a UK road in a roadworthy car with a competent driver. The chances of a crash are very low.

@CountFucula but if she is not big enough for an adult seat belt, the chances of a more serious injury are much higher. Why would you take that risk with your child?