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Original poster

Family Christmas Issue

644 replies

ChristmasIssue · 06/12/2025 02:55

We are staying at home for Xmas this year as we got a dog back in April, don’t have anyone to have him and don’t want to leave him anyway.

As we wouldn’t be visiting anyone, back in September, we said to our family that everyone is welcome to come to us if they would like but we understand if people want to do other things or stay at home themselves.

8 relatives have chosen to come to us, including my cousin with 2 children aged 7 and 2. Everyone coming is aware we have a new dog and that he was our reason for staying home for Xmas.

Now we are less than 3 weeks til Xmas and my cousin has said that she isn’t happy with her children being around our dog and asked us what we plan to do. I was a bit annoyed as we had been clear about everything but I’ve said the dog will be here, although I’m happy to keep the dog out of one room all the time and in another room whilst we eat dinner. My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog. She is suggesting kennels or that our dog stays outside or is made to stay in one room. Our dog is small, very clam etc, so no trouble but I do understand that dogs aren’t for everyone.

Another relative has waded in and is asking if our dog can go elsewhere for the time they are all visiting, which is 3 days in total. I’ve said no, that won’t be happening. Now cousin and this other relative are trying to involve more relatives and get them to say they are not happy with the dog being here. I’ve ignored their texts and calls today. The texts are saying that cousin and her children will no longer be able to come if the dog stays, that I’m cruel to prioritise our dog over a child and that it’s too late for them to go anywhere else so I’m making her spend it alone as a single mum. The other relative is also now saying she is allergic to dogs so I would be making her Xmas difficult. There was no mention of this previously and she agreed to come knowing we had a dog.

Tomorrow I plan to text to say that if they no longer want to come, that’s a shame, but I understand and that if anyone else feels the same, to let me know due to food and drinks order.

My partner and kids (older) have said that next year we are staying home and no one is invited!

What do you think of the whole situation and do you think I’ve been fair? I really wish I hadn’t bothered inviting anyone.

OP posts:
Lurkingandlearning · 08/12/2025 16:00

Your husband is a legend. Merry Christmas to you both 🥳

Zempy · 08/12/2025 15:37

Tell DH the Vipers love him! 🤣

CautiousLurker2 · 08/12/2025 15:32

BitOfAWeirdo · 08/12/2025 15:12

Your husband is a hero!

Was going to post the same. Well done DH!!

Original poster
ChristmasIssue · 08/12/2025 15:32

BitOfAWeirdo · 08/12/2025 15:14

'Work around the dog if she has to'

Cheeky bitch.

I know. It’s such a cheeky thing to say. I could never act like that.

I’m actually pleased in a way that she chose to be cheeky instead of apologising, as although I feel awkward about the exchange, it’s absolutely confirmed that I wouldn’t want her here. If she had been apologetic, I’d have felt under pressure to accept the apology and let her come. It’s going to be very awkward when we do see each other again.

OP posts:
HisNibs · 08/12/2025 15:29

It's good that your partner replied as anyone wanting to argue can take it up directly with him which clearly will not go well for them. I suspect that the allergy was a pile of bollocks anyway as they either wouldn't have accepted an invitation in the first instance or would have at least spoken to you about it before all these shenigans started. For the 'allergic' relative, it's a case of FAFO. Well done

Zigazigarrr · 08/12/2025 15:27

How fabulous of your husband. 😀

J3001 · 08/12/2025 15:26

Love your husband

G5000 · 08/12/2025 15:22

Oh so she is not that allergic that she couldn't manage with a dog in the house after all? It's like those gluten/dairy/whatever free people who make all the fuss about everything being without a trace of the specific ingredient, but then eat a good serving of the same, because it looked good.

eyeses · 08/12/2025 15:21

Is it possible that cousin and allergic relative were in cahoots, and one spoke up to support the other?
In my experience, when this happens it is the instigator that backs down and leaves the supporter looking bad.

Nevernonono · 08/12/2025 15:17

ChristmasIssue · 08/12/2025 15:09

Hello again everyone. I still haven’t heard from my cousin, but allergic relative messaged this morning on the old group chat whilst I was out running (so I didn’t check my phone) to say that she will still be able to make it and that she’ll work around the dog if she has to.’ 😳 😳 😳

My partner replied before I’d even read her message to say ‘The deadline has passed, no room at the inn and we wouldn’t want your allergy to make you feel ill. We’ll see you at some point in the new year. Have a good Xmas whatever you decide to do instead’

I’m so glad he responded, and quickly too, to save me dwelling on it, but I’m half laughing and half cringing at his words. My partner doesn’t find this sort of thing awkward at all whereas I want to curl up and die.

Your husband is awesome! I wonder if she’ll respond!

BitOfAWeirdo · 08/12/2025 15:14

'Work around the dog if she has to'

Cheeky bitch.

Original poster
ChristmasIssue · 08/12/2025 15:14

LemaxObsessive · 08/12/2025 14:48

Oh how I wish I had as many family members as you, OP! It must be lovely (obvs except these two difficult relatives!). I have 2 family members total in addition to my child (I’m a widow sadly and his family aren’t interested in remaining in contact with DD) who don’t seem to like me (or my child) very much, so Christmas especially is a very quiet, lonely time for both of us in our tiny little home. I walk the dog past huge houses full of happiness & laughter and wonder what it must be like. You are so blessed OP and I know that regardless of who does or doesn’t come, you’ll have a wonderful Christmas 🎄 Savour every second of it and enjoy! 🥂

Edited

I’m sorry to hear that you lost your husband and that his family have chosen not to stay in touch with your daughter. That’s very sad and their loss. I hope you can make your Christmas a happy one with your daughter and your dog. 💐

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 08/12/2025 15:14

I bet allergic relative doesn't want to host your cousin and her kids!

MinnieGirl · 08/12/2025 15:13

Well done to your partner! His reply was perfect. And he’s got your back! What a star.

And what a CF to ignore your deadline and decide to work around the dog if she has too…. So rude and entitled. You are well shot of that one and she can find out that actions have consequences.

BitOfAWeirdo · 08/12/2025 15:12

Your husband is a hero!

Original poster
ChristmasIssue · 08/12/2025 15:09

Hello again everyone. I still haven’t heard from my cousin, but allergic relative messaged this morning on the old group chat whilst I was out running (so I didn’t check my phone) to say that she will still be able to make it and that she’ll work around the dog if she has to.’ 😳 😳 😳

My partner replied before I’d even read her message to say ‘The deadline has passed, no room at the inn and we wouldn’t want your allergy to make you feel ill. We’ll see you at some point in the new year. Have a good Xmas whatever you decide to do instead’

I’m so glad he responded, and quickly too, to save me dwelling on it, but I’m half laughing and half cringing at his words. My partner doesn’t find this sort of thing awkward at all whereas I want to curl up and die.

OP posts:
LemaxObsessive · 08/12/2025 14:48

Oh how I wish I had as many family members as you, OP! It must be lovely (obvs except these two difficult relatives!). I have 2 family members total in addition to my child (I’m a widow sadly and his family aren’t interested in remaining in contact with DD) who don’t seem to like me (or my child) very much, so Christmas especially is a very quiet, lonely time for both of us in our tiny little home. I walk the dog past huge houses full of happiness & laughter and wonder what it must be like. You are so blessed OP and I know that regardless of who does or doesn’t come, you’ll have a wonderful Christmas 🎄 Savour every second of it and enjoy! 🥂

LemaxObsessive · 08/12/2025 14:36

bittertwisted · 07/12/2025 17:12

I have never once had someone cancel because of my dog. But then I don’t have anything in common with people who dislike pets, it’s not a quality I find attractive

Show quote history

Well said @bittertwisted 👏🏻

LemaxObsessive · 08/12/2025 14:35

@Terrifictiger”Won’t put up with them for good reason” I beg your pardon?! And what “good reason” is that then?! They can’t all be allergic or frightened! Many, many dogs are wonderful, clean, loving, non-moulting and hypoallergenic! Not to mention affectionate and well behaved ffs. Theyre not all brutes and XL Bullies 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

MaggiesShadow · 08/12/2025 14:19

ChristmasIssue · 07/12/2025 14:44

Thanks everyone. Although I’m trying to keep the new group chatting about Christmas and not the situation with my cousin and other relative, it’s very much still there as plans are now all changing. The Christmas we had planned was very much geared around having young children in the house, so less alcohol, less noise, less late nights, we had all agreed that we wouldn’t have a late one on Xmas eve as we knew the children would be up early wanting to see if Santa had been on Xmas morning and we all planned to get up with them to see them open their presents. Now that my child is the youngest at 17, very nearly 18, we can have a very different Xmas, and the reason for that is blindingly obvious. It sort of feels quite awkward making these different plans whilst not acknowledging why the plans can change and the reasons why Xmas can be very different.

Ach, you're veering into overthinking territory here, @ChristmasIssue

It'll be a lovely Christmas regardless of who's there. A few drinks and games on Christmas Eve, a later start in the morning and everyone will be set up feeling festive and happy.

Skibbgirl · 08/12/2025 12:45

What a crowd of ingrates; they either didn't read the invitation properly or are simply selfish, entitled and, quite frankly, downright rude people. None of this is down to you so, in your shoes, I would have absolutely no compunction about accepting their 'regrets' to the invitation. What they decide to do thereafter is not your problem! In fact, if they do turn up, I'd be making sure the dog had the usual run of the property ... it's not his/her fault!!

HAPPILYMARRIEDSINCE2012 · 08/12/2025 10:31

Enjoy your Christmas OP and don't worry about the rest of it.

Whatsappweirdo · 08/12/2025 09:53

Hope you have a lovely Xmas! X

Janicchoplin · 07/12/2025 19:13

Terrifictiger · 06/12/2025 05:33

I would never take my DC to a house with a dog or allow a dog into my home for that matter.

It is of course your choice to have a dog there but get used to a lot of cancellations in your social diary because a lot of people won’t put up with them for good reason.

Your not a dog lover or possibly any animal lover. Which is fine. But to tell others how they should live their lives in the same way as you or they wouldn't have any friends. It's a little childish.

Therealjudgejudy · 07/12/2025 18:42

You have done the right thing op.

Enjoy your Christmas with your lovely dog

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