Family Christmas Issue

I wouldn’t even use the words it’s a shame. I’d send a message saying you need final numbers today as you are buying food.
Next year don’t invite anyone else.
Your cousin is quite thick to be fair. She knew the score. She isn’t a 90 year old who will spend Christmas alone and vulnerable , she can sort herself out along with anyone else who decides not to come.

Of course not if it was clear at the outset that a dog would be there. I wouldn’t even consider it.

I’m surprised the OP is apparently so shocked at their relatives response to a dog being present. It shows an incredible lack of self awareness.

Eight guests for three days and nights will be incredibly stressful for your pup. Cancel and have a nice peaceful Christmas

You can't fix stupid so I'd probably opt for withdrawing the invitation altogether which avoids you having to entertain anymore of their trippy nonsense.

Presumably you wouldn’t have accepted the invitation then if you were OP’s relative @Terrifictiger ?

Yep definitely need to be told to sod off.

They’re idiots. They knew you had a dog when they accepted the invitation. So they either suck it up or they go elsewhere. Your home is the dogs home.
And I say this as someone who is hosting Xmas and has point blank told their family that their dog cannot come. If I was going to theirs, of course I’d expect their dog to be there. It’s its home!

OP's extended family sound like too much work.

I'd just say: to avoid any hard feelings we're cancelling our invitation altogether. We're unsure why so many of you accepted the invitation to ours knowing we had s dog and that we are staying home for Christmas because we have a dog.

eta
"My cousin has said this isn’t good enough, that her children should be able to move around the house as they wish without worrying about our dog"

Utterly bizarre. What on earth are they worried about????
A guest saying something isn't good enough is pretty bloody entitled, rude and controlling. No way would I want them in my home for Christmas. Is there some sort of backstory? Has a child been attacked by a dog?

I would never take my DC to a house with a dog or allow a dog into my home for that matter.

It is of course your choice to have a dog there but get used to a lot of cancellations in your social diary because a lot of people won’t put up with them for good reason.

Obviously you need to stick your plan and they are being ridiculous.

Can I just check though - in your OP it's not explicitly clear that you explained to them your reason for staying home and hosting this year, can.you double check you actually mentioned the dog originally? If they've only just heard about it that would make it more understandable (they should still suck it up or make their own plans though).

Dear family, we are staying home this Christmas to keep our dog company, your Christmas invitation is obviously to our house where we live with our dog. If you don’t want Christmas at a house with a dog, no one is making you come. Please let us know if your yes I’d love to come to Christmas is actually a no.

what absolutely cheeky fuckers.

When I used to go to my sisters for Christmas Day, her lovely big dogs, were part of the fun.
well behaved and friendly. They weren’t shut away or anything
Your relatives are being silly.

You send a text::

Due to Darling Dog not wanting family here this Christmas
Christmas at ours has now been cancelled

I wish you all a festive season and good night 🎄

No way would I be excluding my dogs in this situation. They knew you had a dog! The level on entitlement is unbelievable. Enjoy your Christmas with your family and dear dog.

Stand your ground OP you told them your plans with plenty of notice .

She should set a place for him at the table if anyone ends up coming, and treat him as an honoured family member, served first.

You've been extremely reasonable and your proposed message is perfect. You have a dog now and if people don't like dogs they can stay at home and cook their own Christmas dinner.

Absolutely not! You were clear from the offset

What shocking cheek! Stand firm. I don’t know where people get such nerve, when it comes to other people’s houses.
All the more mince pies for you anyway, if this lot stay away.

If the dog was an issue, they should've said so. They are unreasonable when it is the dogs home.

I would've politely declined straight away as my child is terrified of dogs. I wouldn't have expected the dog to be removed from its home for a second.

Ok if your home setup doesn’t work for them then they are welcome to decline your invitation. Hope they have a nice Christmas.

In the same way people with dogs aren’t entitled to impose their pets on others, when you are a guest in someone’s home you don’t get to impose a pet free environment on a pet house. You aren’t forcing anyone to come.

Just text and say sorry you are no longer welcome.
The absolute audacity of these people

I’d ignore any attempts to guilt trip you. You have a dog, they knew that when they accepted the invite. I wouldn’t be locking my dog away or sending the dog elsewhere, not a chance.

These family members are nuts, OP! How on earth they can think that what they are asking is reasonable is beyond me. Plus, the emotional blackmail about the single mum having to spend Christmas alone is off the charts. You have been very hospitable and accommodating to invite them all in the first place and to suggest putting the dog in another room during Christmas Dinner and to have a room that is always dog free. How they think it's appropriate to make these ridiculous demands such as putting your dog in kennels is totally beyond me. Are they always this entitled and selfish?

Tell all the other cheeky fuckers trying to blackmail you that they can host Christmas at their houses for the family members who don't like your dog.

Fucking hell the cheeky fuckers. I've heard it all now.