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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not tell my family

30 replies

NotTeling · 05/12/2025 23:55

I have a lump in my breast. Been referred under the two week wait for cancer tests. I live alone, no partner/kids, haven’t told my mum or brother, mainly because we’ve had a crappy year (dad died in may, cancer) amongst other stuff and I don’t want to burden them with this additional stress/worry when it could be nothing. My mum is doing ok after my dad but this would set her right back. I’m doing the right thing keeping quiet until I know for sure right?

OP posts:
PaperPond · 05/12/2025 23:59

Sorry this is happening, OP. I think you should do exactly what works best for you. If you need support, you’re allowed to ask for it. But if you’ll be more worried by your family members worrying, then of course it’s fine not to tell.

OkWinifred · 05/12/2025 23:58

I think you’re right, don’t say anything.
The chances are you’ll be ok, so no need to cause any alarm.
Good luck 💐

MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 05/12/2025 23:57

Yanbu to keep quiet if that's what you want to do. I had a cancer scare a while ago, and told dh and dd as well as a close friend, but I chose not to share it with wider family as I didn't want to worry them.

My only question is whether you have someone else that you could tell so that you have some support?

shellyleppard · 05/12/2025 23:57

@NotTeling difficult situation. I wouldn't say anything till I knew what it was as I don't like to worry people. Sending you the biggest of hugd 🫂🙏❤️ please keep us updated x

CandyCayne · 05/12/2025 23:57

No-one can say if you're doing the right thing but for what it's worth, it's what I think I would probably do too.

Do you have a friend you can confide in for support?

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