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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want my friend to pay for half of this cake?

188 replies

PuffPastry84 · 05/12/2025 22:31

My gran turned 90 this past weekend and I’d organised a little party at my DB and DSIL’s house. I ordered a really lovely (and not cheap) cake from a local bakery. When I picked it up it was in one of those open-top boxes.

My friend Rachel (name change obviously) came with me to help because I also had a load of presents and flowers, so she sat in the backseat holding the cake while I drove like I’d asked her

We get to the house, I open the back door to get the cake and nearly died on the spot. She hadn’t held the box at all. Instead she’d planted her entire hand on the actual cake to “stabilise it”. A full palm print, right across the icing and into one of the decorations.

Her explanation? “It was about to fall out!”

We still served it but the photos are ruined and my gran asked why the cake looked a bit squashed on one side

The cake cost £85. I said to Rachel afterwards that I thought she should pay half since the only reason it got damaged was because she grabbed the actual cake instead of the box. She’s now saying it was “just an accident” and that I’m being tight.

AIBU to think that she didn’t use her common sense and therefore should cough up half? Or am I overreacting because it was my gran’s 90th?

OP posts:
Lmnop22 · 05/12/2025 22:47

PashaMinaMio · 05/12/2025 22:36

I’d probably drift away from the friendship. Little by little I’d distance myself. She obs has no common sense to know how to efficiently stabilise a delicate cake in the rear of a moving vehicle. Silly woman.

Bit harsh! None of us would have any friends left if we distanced ourselves over every tiny silly thing they did when trying to help us out and do us a favour 😳

Sahara123 · 05/12/2025 22:46

Just before my eldest was christened a friend came round with her toddler. I’d been icing the christening cake and had left it with a beautifully smooth coat of icing on the middle of my dining table, out of reach, or so I thought of the toddler. My friend was mortified when we noticed a perfect toddler sized hand print right in the middle ! I just replanned my decorations and made little flowers to cover it.
I honestly don’t think I could blame your friend, probably a panic reaction when she thought the cake was going was to grab at it, or maybe it slid in the box. I’m sure it tasted great, And your grandad a lovely time.

nomas · 05/12/2025 22:46

I would just block and delete her, what a twat.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 05/12/2025 22:46

I think as it was still eaten I wouldn’t be asking her for compensation but I wouldn’t trust her with anything ever again.

Lmnop22 · 05/12/2025 22:45

You had cake and it was eaten and enjoyed and it was an expense you clearly bore alone in the first instance perfectly willingly.

If she’s right and the cake was about to fall and she instinctively grabbed the cake on top and damaged the icing, surely that’s better than the cake sliding into the car footwell??

Either way, you were willing to buy the cake, she did you a favour transporting it and doesn’t owe you anything.

donaldtrumponlyhasonedancemove · 05/12/2025 22:45

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Anywherebuthere · 05/12/2025 22:45

YABU.

There's always a risk that anything can happen when something like this is being transported. She tried to help but it went slightly wrong.

The cake was still edible and served.

The photos of it will lead to a funny conversation subject in future.

But you want to risk your friendship by being so petty and charging for it. It won't change the photos but there will very likely be no friendship left.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 05/12/2025 22:43

Ffs you're being ridiculous

EchoedSilence · 05/12/2025 22:42

Really?

NameChanger20252 · 05/12/2025 22:41

Realistically, I wouldn’t ask for a payment because let’s face it, if she felt any guilt she would have immediately offered. If you ask, you’re not going to get any money anyway so why bother? If it were me, I’d lose a lot of respect for her firstly for being so careless and secondly for not offering any money. For that, I’d have to distance myself at least for the time being whilst I decided if I still wanted to be friends.

If this was a one off, I’d let it go. A pattern of behavior, maybe less likely to let it go.

PashaMinaMio · 05/12/2025 22:36

I’d probably drift away from the friendship. Little by little I’d distance myself. She obs has no common sense to know how to efficiently stabilise a delicate cake in the rear of a moving vehicle. Silly woman.

Theslummymummy · 05/12/2025 22:35

Could you not eat the cake? I wouldn't be paying for a favour I did you, no.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 05/12/2025 22:32

I would want her to pay for all of it! What a stupid thing to do!