To want my friend to pay for half of this cake?

I'd really hate to be served cake someone had stuck their hand on like that.

She sounds really stupid in search for better words. But that's on you @PuffPastry84 . Surely you must know your friend not to be reliable. I can't imagine this being the first time she did something similar.

This.

I make cakes and put them in boxes with a cake board exactly the same size as the box to stop it sliding. If I’m worried about it sliding I put a tea towel or silicon mat underneath the board so it doesn’t slide in the box.

I don’t think it’s your friends fault if she was trying to rescue it from sliding around.

You're right to feel disappointed, angry and let down - your lovely, expensive and perfect cake was squished due to your friend's carelessness but expecting her to pay is not reasonable. Her lack of care and lack of an apology though is a worry, it suggests maybe a wider lack of care for you - something to think about.

She’s an idiot but I think it’s unreasonable to expect money. You ate the cake, it wasn’t totally destroyed. If I paid £80 (!) for a cake I would expect it to come in a closed box.

I mean, putting a fancy cake in an "open top" box is already odd, but to qualify as a box it must have at least had sides. So how was it going to "fall out"? Makes no sense.

I would be gutted. She is an idiot and I wouldn't trust her. But still you can't charge her for the cake, particularly if you still ate it.

I’m actually forming the opinion that the so called friend damaged the cake deliberately OP.
Personally, I would have put the cake in the boot of the car with other things stowed around the sides to stop the box sliding around.

Move on from this OP and consider your options with this ‘friend’………did she have a dislike for your GM and damaged it deliberately? Is she likely to repeat this for a future event?

If my friend came to help in this situation and this happened I’d be frustrated but not expect her to pay! It’s an accident and I wouldn’t want to lose a good friend over this.

it’s something to laugh about after the event..

It would’ve done for me…🤮

“I asked her not to grab the buttercream” Really? That’s a very specific and odd request to make and didn’t get mentioned in the OP.

My first thought on reading this was wondering about your cornering skills but now I think there’s more than a touch ( no pun intended) of a 1980s sitcom script going on.

I might be annoyed but I wouldn’t be asking or accepting payment from a friend.

@PuffPastry84

How much were you paying her for her time helping you?

You're reasonably entitled to 25-50% of thst back. I'm sure her professional indemnity insurance will cough up.

A lap isn't a stable place for cake transport, that's why it's not recommended, to avoid this kind of scenario. Two trips in the car or get someone else to move it.

I spent weeks making my daughter's wedding cake. You bet that was transported so that the only way it would have got damaged is in the event of a full on collision.

I’m surprised at someone choosing to grab the cake instead of holding the box.

For future cake carrying, put the cake in the box in the boot of the car . just make sure nothing can fall on it, and drive carefully and slowly round corners. I have transported all sorts of cakes like this and never had an accident.
never give a cake in a box to a person to carry.

Why did she insist on going along? Or it was even an option, to take friend on an errand? Was she at the party?
You are very trusting, I would have put it on the floor behind me in the car.

I wouldn't expect her to pay up. I would expect her to apologise.

I would be really pissed off, as well as stupid it's really grotty putting dirty hands on top of something people are going to eat!

We were transporting my entire wedding in my car. There was no footwell spare. I didn't have an empty boot. It's not hard to hold a box. Like OP, if she were holding it properly and it still got damaged then that's unavoidable or my responsibility. If you don't even try to look after something and it gets damaged, its on you. It's not the damage that's upsetting. It's that someone who's supposed to give a shit has cared so little about something important to you that they haven't even tried to look after it. I'm asking you to sit on your arse with your hands on a box, it's not asking a lot.

Well she’s an idiot to have stuck her hand in it but try and imagine what it would look like after it’s been eaten just before you flush the toilet to help get a bit of perspective. It’s going to look a lot worse. Will you expect the eaters to pay for ruining it?

Did the hand print make the cake any less edible? She doesn't owe you any money. I doubt she will be offering to help in the future with all this carry on.

I still think that is your fault as that's not how you transport cakes (on someone's lap). On the floor, solidly placed in the boot so it can't move, those are the usual ways. The cake wasn't handled correctly during transport.

Well as they say in management, you can delegate tasks, but you can't delegate responsibility - so the monetary hit is on you.

You could consider it the price of learning that, if this all went down as you say it did, this person is not your friend.

The whole thing tipped over as it slipped off her knee. She had it right on the edge of her knee with her hands clasped between her body and the cake. I don't know what she was thinking but frankly if I hadn't taken it off her I'd have ended up throwing it at her.

Can we see a photo of the £42.50 worth of damage