AIBU to pick up DS frmo party

I’m assuming this is real. No one is that tone deaf to not take any of the sensible comments on board.

This post illustrates why we are bringing up kids with such little resilience. At 16 someone is more than capable of getting a train at 9pm. Jeez, this is worrying.

Have just read the rest of your posts, so I’m guessing they can’t be real (but quite funny, esp. the hard hat one). Looking forward to hearing how the big event goes off.

Poor lad. His friends will be going for pizza, maybe even going off to see the Christmas lights somewhere, while he's picked up by mummy and misses out on some perfectly harmless teenage fun and adventure.

PP is right, he won't tell you were he's going in future.

Reading this thread is making me feel vicarious teenage rage. At 16 I was going up to London with friends, back packing in Europe at 17. Let the poor kid grow up.

Why bother asking? 88% say you are being unreasonable but you go with the original plan anyway. At what age will you allow him to travel independently? At 16 I was at uni living away from home ffs.

Fuck me OP he’s never ever going to tell you where he’s going again. What on earth was the point of posting if you’re just going to ignore everyone, including many who actually know the area and the event very well, who have all told you it’s ridiculous that you think he needs picking up.

God he’s gong to be one of those uni students who has never developed any coping skills and gets into stupid unsafe situations because mummy kept him wrapped up in cotton wool.

Interesting. I think its more that I wouldn't allow him in London alone at that age, amd definitely not at 9pm 🤣. But we live in Surrey so closish, but he doesn't have much London experience. I'd let him and friends take the bus to local town now though and he has taken train one or two stops to and from local parties. Should easily build up to London in next 18 months or so, especially with friends.

Apologies I thought you meant he didn’t use transport at all. I would let a 14yo get on a train from London at 9pm no bother. My dd was coming home (with a friend) on the bus from the theatre in the next big city at that age.

What? Yes, I do. I said more.flexibility. eg now.he takes bus to.sports group in evening which he didnt fo a year or.two ago. He takes a train with a change. He's 14 so no, i wouldn't let him take a train from London at 9pm but yes, I expect he absolutely will by rhe time hes 16! I fully expect him to.start wanting to.take train to London by this summer when hes 15.

Better I think that he is on a train. I live rurally and my big worry was that they would be driven home along narrow lanes by someone who had had a drink - I wish there had been nice safe trains for them to get home on!

I think 9pm is fine as long as he is with mates who are vaguely sensible. I was out until midnight at that age, which looking back shocks me as my parents are very middle class conservative. But I had clear rules - 1 alcoholic drink max, if I ever was even vaguely drunk no more going out and I told them where I was going and stayed there or told them if going somewhere else.

Are you the same poster who was fretting about this rave a couple of weeks ago? At the Ministry of Sound?

I absolutely wouldn’t drive in even if he wanted you to, it’ll be a total nightmare. Just let him get the train.

Christ I wouldn’t drive in to central London for love nor money and certainly not to pick up a 16 year old.

A 9pm journey for a 16 year old with a group of friends is absolutely fine. Maybe you could collect him from your horne station if there's a journey home from there? He'll gradually ask for more and more independence and it's perfectly normal. Make sure he plans his route and get him to text when he's on the train? You have to let go and you have to let him experience life safely :)

He’ll be fine. They all seem to end up in a big crowd in the Nando’s at E&C. I see them as I go past, on my very normal, uneventful journey home.

I'm going to assume from this post you don't live in London or any big city with lots of transport, where many are getting tubes, trains and buses from 11 to go to school. Admittedly this is in the evening, but he is 16 now.

Let him get the train home. Give him a curfew when he needs to be home by and tell him he absolutely must stay in contact if they do anything after e.g. go to McDs. If the rave finishes at 9pm, there's likely to be quite a few people around, plus it's still early. Is he going from Elephant & Castle Station or one of the mainline stations?

I’m going to assume you are being sarcastic here @Rosealea .

And @NewCushions – do you seriously not allow your 14yo to use public transport? You do know I hope that many many 11yos negotiate the trip to secondary school in London on the tube on a daily.

@ThatLimeNewt your DS getting the train home is fine, honestly.

Direct train at 9pm seems like an okay option to me for a 16 year old. DS is 14 and I wouldn't allow it, but I have already started allowing more flexibility on public transport so I can easily see that he COULD do this by the time he's 16, especially if he's with friends.

Not quite sure if you're being sarcastic or serious? 🤣🤣

OP, let him travel on the train.

Did you start a previous thread about this rave by the way?

100%. He has to be collected by you, end of story. He's far too young to be out on his own like that so it has to be non negotiable

I grew up in London and was travelling home from parties and raves much later than that at 16...and that was pre phone !

Looking at your previous threads, your 16 year old needs some freedom!! the number of posts asking very basic questions is odd - you were a teenager once too?!

He is going to push back big time if getting home at 9pm, wearing a black tracksuit or even going to a disco in the daytime is so concerning for you. Let him breathe.

And, He is a literal genius dressing up as a builder to buy vodka…. Actually rather annoyed at myself I never came up with such a brilliant plan at 16. That boy is going far!!!!