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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you message and tell her?

32 replies

Ljayne916 · 05/12/2025 10:19

Or just leave it?

my ex (who now has a partner and young child) and who I split up with 6 years ago has been messaging me.

He sent a message asking me if I’m still at my old work place and that he’s looking for a new job. Also wondered if I’ve met a ‘nice fella’ yet and if I’m renting or own my house? Very weird questions and he basically said his partner isn’t the one for him, in different wording but implying it.

I am ignoring him. I don’t actually have him as a friend on Facebook, so he’s searched my profile. I only answered as I wanted to know why he was asking if I was still in my previous job. And then he started asking the other questions but I’m not responding.

would you tell his partner or just keep out of it? I’d want to know if that was me but…

OP posts:
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LeaderBee · 05/12/2025 15:42

If there's no need for you to keep in touch i.e, shared children or some ongoing financial dispute then block.

No need getting sucked into drama.

HRTQueen · 05/12/2025 15:41

no ignore and block

unless you like the drama

gamerchick · 05/12/2025 15:39

In fact I'd take a stab in the dark, that he's been caught or going to be caught shagging someone at his work so is pre empting getting kicked out and needing a new job.

AcademyFootball · 05/12/2025 15:38

He’s not trying to get with you though, is he? He’s hoping to get a better job.

She probably knows he sent you the messages and thinks you’re a bit nuts/still obsessed with him by not engaging. (And I’m not saying that’s OK/fair), but the messages don’t strike me as being about you.

gamerchick · 05/12/2025 15:35

I'd stay out of it. Sounds like he's going to be on his uppers soon and needing a bed going on his questions.

Ignore and block. Don't even enter into a dialogue.

IBorAlevels · 05/12/2025 13:15

TittyGajillions · 05/12/2025 12:55

People who stir the shit pot should be made to lick the spoon!

The men who do the dirt then, women standing up for each other is never a wrong move.

PlayCertainGamesWinCertainPrizes · 05/12/2025 12:59

Ugh, I’m torn. On one hand, it invites drama. On the other hand, men get away with their horrible behaviour due to other people’s silence.

It’s Christmastime though so definitely don’t do anything this month.

TittyGajillions · 05/12/2025 12:55

People who stir the shit pot should be made to lick the spoon!

PippyPie · 05/12/2025 12:43

No, why would you? Unless you like drama

IBorAlevels · 05/12/2025 12:40

No need to tell his partner but block him and if you feel like you need to warn her put something on your social media taglines like "If you are an ex, you are an ex for a reason, no messages please". They'll both get the message (if she is worried she will be looking you up - us women know too well this is what men do).

Greggsit · 05/12/2025 12:36

No! None of your business.

Gymnopedie · 05/12/2025 12:29

Stay well out of it. Whether or not they split up is between them.

But he's decided he doesn't want to be with her any longer, and instead of being a big boy and leaving and standing on his own two feet he's looking to see if you'll provide him with a soft landing. (Like are you working so could you support him when he's out of work, can you put a roof over his head.)

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 05/12/2025 12:18

I'd keep well out of it. No good can come of it.

ldnmusic87 · 05/12/2025 11:47

Just block

ConnieHeart · 05/12/2025 11:40

Definitely 100% don't message her. She'll think you're just being a bitch

OneKhakiFish · 05/12/2025 11:40

My first message would've been who's this? then blocked

PInkyStarfish · 05/12/2025 11:36

He’s probably buttering you up so that you can help him get a foot in the door for a job where you work.

Just block him and think no more of it and certainly don’t message her.

purplecorkheart · 05/12/2025 11:34

Do not respond, block and be glad he is an ex.

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/12/2025 11:29

Agree with others, block him and do nothing. Their relationship is nothing to do with you and if it isn’t going to work out then it’ll happen in course. That’s for them to sort out between themselves, it doesn’t require an ex in the peanut gallery chucking their piece in.

ScreamingInfidelities · 05/12/2025 11:24

this happened to me a good few years ago. Ex got in contact via FB, general “how are you” chit chat. He was living with and engaged to someone. Naively, I took his messages at face value and replied, asking after his mum etc. I woke up the next day to half a dozen fucking filthy messages sent at 2am, obviously after a few drinks. BLOCKED

arcticpandas · 05/12/2025 11:24

Tell him to get lost. Don't tell her. They have a young child.

Fdsew · 05/12/2025 11:22

What a creep.
Ignore completely and don't help him work wise.

noidea69 · 05/12/2025 11:06

Get the impression you want to tell her for the drama of it all.

BauhausOfEliott · 05/12/2025 11:04

Of course I wouldn’t tell her. Who needs that drama in their lives? Just block and ignore.

CandyCayne · 05/12/2025 10:53

Nah, just block him and move on with your life.

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