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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be irritated by relatives always asking me what young DC want for Xmas/birthdays

278 replies

TweedleTarmac · 05/12/2025 08:13

Get to know them, visit them. Video call them. And then ask them yourselves!

I should be grateful that people want to make the effort, but burdening my already heavy mental load by asking me to find something that they can buy online in a few clicks isn’t really much effort. We really try to not to over-consume and buy our toys secondhand. I’d rather they didn’t send anything at all.

There is one relative who makes a huge amount of effort to spend time with them and she finds out herself from them what gifts they would like.

OP posts:
x2boys · 05/12/2025 08:17

You need to get over yourself this is a pretty normal thing ime ,do you video call other people's children etc?

Katemax82 · 05/12/2025 08:16

This annoys too because my middle son doesn't know himself what to get.
My stepsons stepkids however, we don't see them as they live 100s of miles away so I share with their mum what we are thinking of buying to check it's ok

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 05/12/2025 08:16

Haven't you read all the MN posts about the unreasonable relatives who buy presents which aren't on the approved list?

Just give an idea. They want to avoid giving your child stuff that you hate.

Alternatively, accept the surprise plastic crap or drum kit with good grace