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AIBU?

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Original poster

Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

384 replies

Moknicker · 05/12/2025 02:58

Wanted to get a sense check on how a family has asked us to split costs for an upcoming ski trip

  • One family (2 adults + 2 kids) is going on the trip.
  • Four additional children (each from separate families) were invited to join. Our child is one of these - is friends with younger child. Kids are 17 and 15 year olds
  • Total people on the trip: 8
  • 4 from the host family.
  • 4 individual children

Shared costs:

  • Accommodation: 4k total
  • Ski lift pass: 7 at 300 each = 2100 ( mum is not skiing)
  • Total cost: 6100

The host family just told us the cost is 1640 for our son. I asked for the breakdown( we were only given total figure). It looks like they have added up the costs and divided by 5

Aibu to say this is not fair and our cost is around 1050( accommodation divided by 8 and we pay 300 for ski lift ) and we and the other kids should not be subsidizing the “host” family? And if we are then they should have told us beforehand?

Travel costs and other costs are covered individually.

OP posts:
FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 14:01

Even with the dodgy dividing it by 5 calculation there’s an extra £400 been added on.

I bet they’ve been doing this scam for a while and got really greedy this time.

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 06/12/2025 13:55

I’ve taken other people’s children away twice. On both occasions we’ve paid for everything but just ask they bring spending money. On the 2nd occasion, the child’s parent insisted on giving me £100 towards their food/activities and had told their child that they were doing that. Spent the entire week with the other child insisting on the most expensive thing on each restaurant menu (despite quite often not eating it) whilst loudly telling us that their mum had paid for it. That was the last time.
How was your DC taking it about not going OP? Good for you for pulling out. It probably wasn’t a comfortable decision to make.

FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 13:54

Moknicker · 06/12/2025 13:37

I texted the mum and she confirmed that the costs for acco and ski passes are split by 5 "families". When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc.

I then called up my friend Rachel. For context Rachel's DH - Richard and host dad went to school together so go way back. Rachel's son Oliver is very good friends with the host son. Oliver is not going on the trip and i remember being a little surprised by that.

It turns out that host family pulled a similar thing on a summer camping trip with Oliver and another kid in the friend group. Rachel didn't realise what was going on just that the costs seemed to be really high - not as high as this obviously but enough to make them uncomfortable. Oliver was invited on the ski trip but they declined. Richard then called to apologise for not raising this with me when they knew my son was going on the trip. He's advised me to pull out of the trip and I have.

The host family has not responded as yet.

Edited

Wow!
Good for you for pulling out.

Hankunamatata · 06/12/2025 13:50

I think splitting by 5 is taking the mick. I could understand splitting accomdation and car hire and food say by 7 (making couple one) but everyone should pay their own lift pass

HelmholtzWatson · 06/12/2025 13:50

The more I thought about this, the more i felt it was a scam - who on earth invites 4 extra teenagers to go on holiday with them if there is nothing in it for them?

BillieWiper · 06/12/2025 13:50

So each of the four kids is paying for both themselves and for the whole other family? Who will all pay nothing? That's outrageous.

Yeah what a load of tosh. If your kid desperately wants to go offer the amount it should be, which is the cost divided by 8.

You certainly shouldn't be paying for their whole holiday!

amber763 · 06/12/2025 13:48

Thanks for coming back to update, op. I think you've done the right thing pulling out.

ApolloandDaphne · 06/12/2025 13:47

That is a mad way to split things. No wonder they offer to take other DC with them!

SexyFrenchDepression · 06/12/2025 13:46

Wow, that is awful. When we have taken kids on holiday with us we have only ever charged them the amount it cost us on top of what we would have paid if just us, never even split costs that we would have paid anyway.

I would pull out also, would rather use it for a family trip instead of subsidising their holiday!!

Glamba · 06/12/2025 13:44

Blimey they are that idiotic! My apologies.

ThejoyofNC · 06/12/2025 13:43

Wow so they make a habit of inviting along people to pay for their holidays. Quite the little scam they've got going there. Unbelievable, glad you've pulled out.

Tiswa · 06/12/2025 13:41

Have you spoken to the other friend as well

pulling out seems the right choice

Original poster
Moknicker · 06/12/2025 13:37

I texted the mum and she confirmed that the costs for acco and ski passes are split by 5 "families". When I asked how that was fair she replied it was "morally fair" and used some of the arguments in the thread that they were looking after our kids and it was a lot of risk etc.

I then called up my friend Rachel. For context Rachel's DH - Richard and host dad went to school together so go way back. Rachel's son Oliver is very good friends with the host son. Oliver is not going on the trip and i remember being a little surprised by that.

It turns out that host family pulled a similar thing on a summer camping trip with Oliver and another kid in the friend group. Rachel didn't realise what was going on just that the costs seemed to be really high - not as high as this obviously but enough to make them uncomfortable. Oliver was invited on the ski trip but they declined. Richard then called to apologise for not raising this with me when they knew my son was going on the trip. He's advised me to pull out of the trip and I have.

The host family has not responded as yet.

OP posts:
Questionsquestions121 · 06/12/2025 12:01

My child’s school ski trip is 1300 for 5 days with food. This is paid upfront so I wonder if it’s adding in eating/drinking which is expensive? Also ski equipment hire?

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/12/2025 11:58

Are siblings going ? As older one friends So she sent you theirs instead of yours as it’s double the cost roughly what you were expecting

Someone up thread did a nice polite reply but can’t find it now

the fact food and flights (how much are they ?) is on top makes me a very costly 4 day holiday @Moknicker

Glamba · 06/12/2025 11:29

There must be either something else included, or a maths error, or both. Take the ski passes out of it, just £1340 x 4 is more than £4k so it is nonsensical. If they were just doing it deliberately to quietly turn a profit they'd be idiotic to make it this unsubtle.

blastfurnace · 06/12/2025 11:14

Needspaceforlego · 06/12/2025 10:47

That calculation doesn't include food.

Show quote history

OP didn’t originally think the food budget was included, she was trying to work out how they were being charged £1640 for accommodation and lift passes.

The answer might be it’s accommodation, lift passes, car hire, food and other bits and bobs but it’s hard to see how that would legitimately add £840pp unless they’re hiring a limo and are dining on caviar.

Fdsew · 06/12/2025 11:05

They think you are complete mugs.
I would be declining and rethink any further invitations.

Needspaceforlego · 06/12/2025 10:47

blastfurnace · 06/12/2025 10:36

Yes if that’s what they have done it has to be a mistake of course, no-one could think it would be a fair way to allocate the costs. It just seems like the kind of thing someone could do if making a quick calculation without engaging their brain.

Show quote history

That calculation doesn't include food.

wfhwfh · 06/12/2025 10:39

How have they responded to a breakdown of costs? I’d insist on this now. It may be a miscalculation or some other unconsidered costs - or they may just be taking advantage

blastfurnace · 06/12/2025 10:36

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/12/2025 09:34

Looks like they have divided room cost by 3 so 3 bedrooms so £1300 plus 300 ski pass

tho if they have done that for all 4 kids then they get a free holiday

pp would be fair so 4000/8 is 500 + 300 so £800

tho then food , car /ski hire on top

talk to other parents who are going and see what they are paying but yes sounds high

Yes if that’s what they have done it has to be a mistake of course, no-one could think it would be a fair way to allocate the costs. It just seems like the kind of thing someone could do if making a quick calculation without engaging their brain.

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 09:41

FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 09:39

Same, I thought the total would be in the area of £1200 for accommodation, ski hire, breakfast, dinner and car hire.

Edited
Show quote history

yup

FastTurtle · 06/12/2025 09:39

Maryberrysbouffant · 06/12/2025 08:49

I’d definitely want to know how they’d reached that figure. Please let us know when he gets back to you with the cost breakdown!

Same, I thought the total would be in the area of £1200 for accommodation, ski hire, breakfast, dinner and car hire.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/12/2025 09:34

Looks like they have divided room cost by 3 so 3 bedrooms so £1300 plus 300 ski pass

tho if they have done that for all 4 kids then they get a free holiday

pp would be fair so 4000/8 is 500 + 300 so £800

tho then food , car /ski hire on top

talk to other parents who are going and see what they are paying but yes sounds high

Calliopespa · 06/12/2025 09:30

Needspaceforlego · 06/12/2025 09:24

Yeah but thats the cost of a room for 2 folk.

Show quote history

Yes that's true. And on that basis this costing is in fact £3200 for four days. You are right.

There has to have been a mistake op. I think @blastfurnace might have figured what has happened. You been given the cost for the full price of the room your dc is occupying, not his portion of it.