Ski trip cost- are we subsidizing “host “ family

I'm impressed by families who are willing to fully subsidise the costs of their DC bringing friends with them on holiday.

I do think a ski trip is a bit different though - for one thing I don't think there's a clear advantage to the host family of having the friends along (it's not like a summer holiday where there's the same advantage of having friends along to provide entertainment). Also unlike e.g. renting a summer villa the costs when skiing mostly directly increase in proportion to the number of people in the party. And skiing is notoriously expensive!

So I would absolutely expect to pay a proportionate share of the costs and wouldn't even begrudge paying a bit extra to towards subsidising the adults if they are doing supervision of skiing, self-catering etc.

But clearly totally covering the costs of the host party would be massive CFery - I can't imagine for one minute that's what is actually happening here, there must be misunderstanding about other costs.

No. She's concerned she's paying way too much for that.

Have they mistakenly thought you're paying for more than one of the additional children?

Bit surprised that you know them well enough to trust them to take your kid away skiing.

But not enough to simply double check what the costs are covering.

You've assumed the worst.

It would if it included travel (most school ski trips come in around 1200-1600) and equipment but it doesn’t so it is over

I think that message is how you would ask if you had engaged them to provide a service, like if a builder gave you a quote. I think in this situation you need to either ask more delicately or say from the start that sorry but your child can no longer go at that price and will be dropping out of the trip (though I'd then expect some pushback from them as presumably the accommodation has been booked on the basis you said your child was going so you pulling out now definitely will leave them out of pocket). If there is any chance your child will still go then I think it's fair to ask more questions but it has to be done in a friendly way, not a transactional one - you don't want to send a teen on holiday with a family where the relationship with you has become strained.

I’m not sure how they have calculated the cost but £1600pp for a week skiing including accommodation, lift pass and equipment hire sounds about right.

I would do this too. I go for four days skiing with my son every year and it comes to about £2K between us with everything included. Also that sum does look like they've just divided their accomodation and lift pass costs by four, so it does seem that they are expecting the invited children to subsidise the trip. TBH I wouldn't trust my kid to be looked after - especially somewhere potentially dangerous like a ski resort - by a bunch of piss taking blaggers!

If my family of four had to book a sleeps 8 chalet to accommodate four friends, then too bloody right we'd be sharing the cost of the chalet! It'll be double what they normally pay.
They may have divided the accommodation per room not per person, which is valid, but I'd be wanting to know if my ds has a single room and probably actually ask if he could share for cheaper.
Also, it's unlikely that individuals are organising their own transfers so surely that's included in the shared costs? And food?

Or there might be a simple maths mistake?

Honestly, I would not be starting from a point of assuming these parents are trying to rip you off or take advantage. Assume either you don't have the full info or they've made an honest mistake and you'll have a much more productive conversation. Most people, especially those who willingly take other people's kids away on holiday, are basically decent folk.

What was the arrangement when they invited your son along? Surely they must have said something along the lines of 'it'll be about X amount for XX and XX?' Nobody would agree to send their kid on a trip without some idea of how much it would cost them, surely?

It does sound like they're taking the piss though unless that amount also covers food, transport and ski hire.

You are right to question this! I’d give them the benefit of the doubt and guess it covers, transfers, ski school/lessons and ski hire. If not there has definitely been some creative accounting that I wouldn’t be happy with.

Sounds like the four invited children are paying the whole amount for accommodation and ski lift. Four times £1640 comes to £6560 what are the family who doing the inviting actually paying for? Presumably inviting their kids friends is to benefit their own children, so why should they charge for supervising and chauffeuring?

Surely the extra cost includes flights, transfers, food and drink, kit hire, and perhaps lessons? Sounds like a very reasonable price for a ski trip. Unless you’re paying for all the above separately, in which case it doesn’t make sense. I’d say tread very carefully on this one.

It's a lot of responsibility for the parents to take on the care for 6 kids, 4 of which aren't theirs. I'm almost not surprised they've thrown a little extra on the bill (if in fact they have.) Skiing is a dangerous activity. Especially for teenagers, who are likely to not be very experienced, and aren't always known for being risk-averse. It's also very expensive.
I'd suspect there's a lot of additional costs you haven't factored in. Ski hire, boot hire, food, other activities, transport.

But if you want to know a more accurate breakdown, then by all means ask. But don't go in all guns blazing and full of accusations.

If you're not happy, then it's fairly simple - your son doesn't go. But presumably you knew a rough ball park of the cost before you agreed? You had to know the rough amount, surely?!

Email back and ask if that figure includes things you were allowing for separately like equipment hire, lessons, contribution to food, transfer etc. Can your dc ski/board competently? it does seem a lot for what they claim.

I've taken DC's friends on holiday and wouldn't dream of charging them for food or accommodation so think the whole thing is bloody cheeky. I can however see how a ski trip would incur costs that a parent might expect to pay for such as lift pass, ski school etc and yes if they're flying then flights assuming this was agreed up front. We recently took 3 extra kids away on holiday and inevitably had a much larger house, needed a 7 seater car instead of standard car and had to limit eating out more than usual as costs were prohibitively high - we knew this before we asked them and that was our choice.

I would just say oh goodness this is a lot more than we expected I'm really sorry but DC won't be coming afterall. You could push for a breakdown but it's clear they looking for you to subsidise their holiday so can't see how it will change. Cheeky fuckers.

Yanbu.
They are taking advantage.
Decline.
Very shabby behaviour

Looking at it another way 1640 x 8 = 13,120. If you take off the ski passes x 7 and accommodation then it leaves £6k ie 750 each. They must be including something else because you would also get ski hire and food for everyone easily out of that!

If I were doing this it would accommodation split evenly assuming everyone sharing, then ask each parent to either get their child to buy ski pass and pay for hire or to forward me the money. I would then probably ask for some money toward food. Ski resorts are very expensive and teenagers eat a lot!

BTW don’t forget to get your child to get the Carre Neige!

Skiing is so expensive, I can imagine if they didn’t make sure absolutely everything was covered costs could get out of control for them with four extra teenagers. Yet I’d still be interested in a breakdown … tricky to word though when they’re doing you a massive favour!

What's the accommodation type?
There isn't food factored in if self catering.

I would ask for how it's been worked out and simply say sorry that doesn't seem to make much sense.

Is the accommodation bigger/more rooms to cater for extra children? If I was renting a 4 bed chalet that could sleep extra kids sharing, I’d not be asking others to subsidise / pay as I’d have been paying that regardless. Lift pass / equipment hire / travel would be down to the other child’s family to pay and certainly some form of food contribution money.

If your numbers are correct then you’re paying over 25% of the cost. Which either seems like they’ve made an error or they’ve included something you haven’t thought of.

I'd message back saying, "Sorry the figures don't make sense to me! Please send me a complete breakdown as that seems double of what I was expecting! Also please explain how you've divided the costs. Thank you so much."

But surely they have booked a considerably larger apartment if they are taking 4 additional people? Which will cost a lot more. Definitely not unreasonable to ask for a contribution towards accommodation, and probably not unreasonable for it to be an equal split (rather than token contribution). I agree it seems unfair to charge more than an equal share of accommodation, especially without making it clear from the outset that this was the plan

Accomodation seems really cheap for 8 people skiing.
What about ski boots, ski and helmet hire.
Transfers, could easily be 150 per person depending on location.
Food and drink.
Activities.
What about travel, petrol or flights?
Lessons?