Or was my birthday shit?

So sorry sweetheart. ❤️

Yes exactly. I didn't spend any time with my husband on my birthday this year because he dropped dead completely out of the blue. Perspective.

Most people’s work does take priority, because they need to earn a living.

I’ve had to spend some time in hospital recently and have been completely humbled at the amount of suffering by some lonely people and, equally, by the sheer amazing compassion of the staff.

Perspective.

I spent my 30th birthday completely alone. My husband was working in a youth club in the evening even though he had a 9-5 job and didnt need the extra money. We split up when i was 32. It was just one example of his general thoughtlessness and cluelessness during the marriagr. I felt very lonely and just got steadily sick of him. By the time we split up I didnt really give a fuck anymore.

You sound very self-centered, spoilt and childish.

Yeah, you’re being mardy.

Have a hug.

YANBU, it sounds a bit shit. Not a lot shit, but a bit.

Yes you had a lovely weekend away, so that's good... but you organised it, and you're probably right in that if YOU didn't organise it, it wouldn't have happened.

You knew he'd be busy with work, so that's fine. The solo parenting is perfectly fine.
But for him to not even have a 2 minute phonecall, or even send a text??? That's pathetic. I think that's the bit I'd be most upset about.

Then it would've been nice if he could have tried to get home in time for dinner, or even to ensure he got home just in time to have cake and presents before the kids went to bed.

I think you're being a little bit sulky to not want to open presents because of "parenting", but if you had said you'd rather do it tomorrow when the kids aren't ratty and tired and you have time for cake etc, then that would've been fine IMO.

Got to love MN.

You planned your own birthday weekend.

The problem is that upset you (understandable) and that simmered and then it erupted tonight. Did he say HBD this morning? Did he get you a present? Did he do anything without your involvement?

You sound exhausting. Cutting off your nose to spite your face, as my mother would have said.

Given your update I disagree with most PPs a little.
You planned and executed your own birthday weekend away including childcare, he also got the benefit of that and then on your actual day he couldn’t be arsed to send you a quick message to acknowledge your birthday.

The coming home late might not be helped to be fair as sometimes you can do a lot to try and get out the door early but sometimes it just doesn’t happen. But he could’ve sent you a message at some point in the day.

I wouldn’t refuse to open gifts or ruin the rest of the evening though. What’s in there might be his way of showing he does care and think of you .….unless he gave you household appliances, then you should definitely LTB 😂 (Edited to add sarcasm)

If my or DH's birthdays fall on a weekday, we'll celebrate at the weekend and the day itself is a non-event other than that's when we open presents. I couldn't get that worked up about it. Your DH probably feels like he works his bllcks off and gets a hard time for that. He's going through a busy period, so he's busy. A 'happy birthday' text might have been thoughtful, but maybe, as he's rushed off his feet, it slipped his mind? I think you are going to have to tell him beforehand that you would like him to come home earlier on your actual birthday - he may tell you he's just too busy for that but at least you will have been prewarned.

Edited to add: I hope you did open your presents with him OP

You’re being a petulant child.

You’re being a petulant child.

Agree with almost everyone.
YABU, childish and petulant.

Lots of people - maybe even most people - don't celebrate in a big way when their birthday falls on a working day. Most people (I'd have thought) do something on a day which is convenient for the birthday girl or boy and whoever they want to celebrate with.
Most people with little dc don't get to go away for the weekend for their birthday, particularly an 'ordinary' birthday (I'm confident you'd have mentioned it if it were your 40th).

I'm a person who likes to do something for my birthday, but it doesn't have to be on that specific day.

We also have people in our family with birthdays on days no-one wants to do things (NY Day, Christmas Eve, etc) so it is pretty normal to be able to pick the day you celebrate, which it seems you have already done.

Grow up.

Do you work too? I’m only asking as you mention your DH job a lot but it comes across as if you don’t realise the pressures of work

You’ve chosen to ruin your own birthday.

Mine is on Boxing Day . No one ever available to celebrate as they’re all with family. So I have a couple of dates where I go out fur my substitute birthday. As long as you do something who cares if if it's on tte actual day

You had a lovely weekend with your DH. Don’t put a downer in it by acting like a brat

So you organised your birthday completely, including the children and he got a weekend away.
What EXACTLY did he do for your birthday today?
Yanbu to be put out.
He couldn't come home early just one day, on your birthday?
Yes you are being taken for granted.
If you are a sahm to facilitate his big important job, you might want to rethink it, because it is thankless if your husband thinks he has zero responsibilities bar work.

Does he do any sole parenting?
If not its time he did.

Refusing gifts is really childish.

Some poor blokes just can’t win .

As you said, you had a lovely weekend away to celebrate your birthday and you knew he was busy at work. YABU.

Ouch.
😕

Princess syndrome.

Wow. You are choosing to ruin your own day.