Or was my birthday shit?

You already got a weekend away. You honestly sound like a bit of a spoilt child. I can’t get my head around grown adults who are so precious over their own birthdays.

are you for real ?? "you wouldnt stay with someone who didnt prioritise your birthday"..????????

I’m not one of those people who think adults shouldn’t celebrate birthdays, I love birthdays and make a big deal out of them, as does DH. However, we do have to accept that if our special day falls in a particularly busy time of year either nationally or personally with other commitments, we need to be flexible.

I have a family member whose birthday is on Christmas Eve. As much as family have always tried to make the day about her, she knows it’s never going to be the same as other peoples birthdays. What they have started to do as a family (her, DH and their DC) is choose a day in June to also celebrate her birthday. They go out for the day and or a meal, she gets a birthday cake and a couple of presents. Basically do the things she would like to do in her actual birthday but it isn’t practical to do.

I get your point OP.
I think it would’ve been nice of him to send one text “happy birthday, really busy at work, love you” in the morning and then be home on time.
I suppose it does depend what job he has on if he could choose to come home on time etc.
not opening presents or saying not in the mood, is probs a bit far.
I think next year would be good to manage expectations. Maybe give gifts on the weekend away? Maybe get childcare/help on the day so you have some time to yourself. And say to DH, if possible can you come home XXX on my birthday.
happy birthday 🎂

Life must be hard work with this level of drama. 5 out of 7 of us work on our birthdays every year

Jesus Christ, what a depressing outlook.

I think you behaved poorly and prescious

i am married 25 years and the key to a happy birthday is low expectations so anything else is a bonus. You got a weekend away. You knew he was busy at work.

Grow up! You are lucky to see a birthday. I had chemo on mine this year and then had to go to bed. I will be lucky to see my next birthday.

Nothing happens on mine either OP. I ran out of energy to keep organising things a few years back. Acceptance is a powerful tool. I’ve always organised nice things for DH and a few family members and friends for theirs, and I recently decided not to in future. Too much output of energy at this point in my life, I’m going to try and feed that effort back towards myself next year. Happy Birthday! 🥳

Nothing happens on mine either OP. I ran out of energy to keep organising things a few years back. Acceptance is a powerful tool. I’ve always organised nice things for DH and a few family members and friends for theirs, and I recently decided not to in future. Too much output of energy at this point in my life, I’m going to try and feed that effort back towards myself next year. Happy Birthday! 🥳

Oh the drama over nothing
I cannot believe this OP
When you were born what did you do
Just pooped out and screamed a bit
Jeez

Jesus Christ. You got a WEEKEND AWAY. So being so bloody precious. It’s my birthday today and you know what? It’s just a day, like any other.

Well, each to their own, but I have higher expectations than to expect to have to organise my own childcare and weekend away for my birthday.

So to break it down;

You always have to celebrate your birthday early.
You're aware this is ALWAYS a busy period for DH's work.
You're aware he has a hectic career.
He's bought you gifts.
You've refused the gifts.
You enjoyed your birthday celebrations.
You've been blessed with beautiful children.
You've loved to see another birthday.
He's come home from said busy job and you've moaned at him immediately.
And now you're asking if you've been unreasonable???

I'd say the facts speak for themselves. Gratitude is a must, give thanks for all that you've got and apologies for the bratty behaviour.🙄

She got the lovely weekend because she communicated her wants to her husband and organised the weekend based on her wants.

If she wants him to book her a lovely weekend then she should tell him to do that next year, instead of whining that she didn't get a special day when in fact she got two, plus presents.

Yeah, how dare adults want to enjoy themselves and have their birthdays recognised 🙄

Honestly, MN is so bizarre when it comes to adults having the audacity to want to celebrate anything.

Either way I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want to hear from your partner on your birthday, especially when you’re solo parenting 😬

What's with adults stropping about a "ruined birthday"? Unless its a landmark birthday, why the big fuss?
Leave it for the little children and get on with your life 😆

I can't see anywhere that OP says her DH didn't wish her happy birthday in the morning before work. She says she didn't hear from him through the day. He may have done, he may not have done

I hardly think OP is being unrealistic to except her husband to wish her happy birthday at some point on the actual day - especially when she’s the one who organised her own weekend away and sorted her own childcare 🫣

She only got the lovely weekend because she booked it and sorted out the childcare to allow it to happen - it’s not like her DH did any work, he just showed up!

But you did have a special day. In fact you had a special weekend. So you want a third special day.

That’s fine but it’s completely understandable why your DH would assume that you had already celebrated and had your treat, particularly when you’re both in work and he has less control over when he can leave and how much time he can spend with you. The time you did have together you ruined yourself by being petulant, and making everyone feel crap. I think you owe him an apology.

In future if you want a celebration on your actual birthday you should arrange for both of you to take the day off.

I think you can still have a special day op or whatever you want your birthday to look like (within reason). Just because others aren't bothered doesn't mean you can't be.

It just involves you both being on the same page and clear communication. Taking control of responsibility and expectation of your birthday is very helpful. So if its really important he says happy birthday on the day tell him. If it's really important he comes home early or takes the day off tell him. If you want him to organise the birthday weekend and childcare tell him. It may involve flexibility and compromise on your part too. My birthday too is at a rubbish time so I have to be willing to move it or accept it will be slightly different.
Be honest and communicate. Then if next year he doesn't do the things you've clearly stated are important to you (and reasonable) then you definitely need a further chat But you've been very clear.

I personally wouldn't stay in a relationship with some who didn't prioritise my birthday. That doesn't make me a princess just birthdays are important to me.

But you got a "lovely weekend" and gifts all for yourself, and that wasn't enough for you, you're still moaning.