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Original poster

6 year old is sad to only have 2 words to say in nativity

111 replies

Crowandrow · 04/12/2025 22:02

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to ask a question.
My six year old son is very sad to only have 2 words to say in the nativity. He says that everyone else has lots of words and are in more than one scene. He is in one scene.

He doesn't usually get upset by things but keeps mentioning how upset by this he is. He is also quite honest and tells me what is going on (telling me if he got in trouble etc) so I believe him.
he is also really sad that he has never got a certificate at all. He said quite sadly to me: I've shown perseverance! Why haven't I got one like everyone else?

WIBU to raise it with the teacher?something along the lines of: my son is a bit sad that he's got such a small part/ hasn't got a certificate unlike everyone else. I don't want to overstep, annoy the teacher or make things difficult for my son though. How should I approach it?
thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Crowandrow · 04/12/2025 23:03

cakeisallyouneed · 04/12/2025 22:51

When my DS was in infants he had 3 words. Some of the kids were different kinds of stars. He had to say ‘I’m a rockstar’ when it was his turn he shouted it as loud as he could and stole the show. Tell your son they’re going to be the best two words in the whole show and that he’ll be best sheep/star/lobster there’s ever been.

Thank you, I will try this!

OP posts:
Original poster
Crowandrow · 04/12/2025 23:02

Rosealea · 04/12/2025 22:56

What are his two words?

I'd definitely be nipping at the teachers heels about recognition, certificates etc. That's completely unacceptable.

Have worked out how to reply properly I hope!

His two words are 'Who, me?'

OP posts:
Original poster
Crowandrow · 04/12/2025 23:00

AmberRose86 · 04/12/2025 22:57

Nope. Build his resilience by teaching him that he cannot have things his way, all of the time. That disappointment is a part of life.

This is true too, and I try to work on his resilience. But i also want to be his cheerleader. He has been saying the certificate thing for about 6 months - it's been a long time! So wanted to know how best to help him feel secure. I don't want him continuously sad over this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Crowandrow · 04/12/2025 22:58

SparklyGlitterballs · 04/12/2025 22:53

Well he's obviously good with words if he comes out with words like 'perseverance' at age 6, so shame he's not been given more. However, 2 words is good in my world. My DD was only ever a tree or a sheep. She got to dance but never uttered a word in any of her nativity plays.

Ah yes forgot to say! It's one of their values, their always teaching them these values during assemblies etc. but he is good with words, quite chatty.

OP posts:
AmberRose86 · 04/12/2025 22:57

Nope. Build his resilience by teaching him that he cannot have things his way, all of the time. That disappointment is a part of life.

Original poster
Crowandrow · 04/12/2025 22:57

Thank you so much for all your replies, I appreciate them all.

I am a bit unclear how to quote people properly, so please bear with me.

Most of you are saying to not speak to the teacher, and instead prop up my son's self confidence - I think that's s good idea. I always reassure him that he's doing brilliantly because he is, school is hard work for them!

His teacher appears to be competent, smart and fair so I have trusted her thus far to give the certificates on merit though I (as many of you appear to be) am a bit dubious about why they are given to particular children.. though of-course I am not there so only going by his word.

He's already said that one 'naughty' kid gets them all the time so seems unfair.

I am going to make a certificate for him from me in the meantime and see how the certificate situation evolves.

I find it hard because I'm sure like many other parents my son goes to breakfast club and after school club as my husband and I aren't around for those times, so I don't ever get to see his teacher daily. Sometimes I feel this means that your child gets forgotten!

I'm very sad because neither my husband or I can attend the nativity because of work (I am a teacher snd have been denied leave and my husband is away with work at that time ) but have asked his grandmother to attend to see him in it so he has someone cheering him on.

I've seen first hand as a teacher how some kids get forgotten so am always conscious with the children in my care to be fair and to be seen to be fair.

Also have had some very pushy parents as a teacher who have been wrong on things which is why I wanted to ask this question on here.

To the poster who has said to advocate for your child - thank you. I agree with you, just need to phrase it right and make sure that what I am saying is reasonable. My son has said that he likes his teacher so that is a plus, he feels liked by her and says she is kind.

I will prop up his self esteem.

His part is a shepherd. he says his two words with great expression and I will ask for a performance at home and listen to his singing too so that I can feel part of it!

Thank you all very much

OP posts:
Rosealea · 04/12/2025 22:56

What are his two words?

I'd definitely be nipping at the teachers heels about recognition, certificates etc. That's completely unacceptable.

SparklyGlitterballs · 04/12/2025 22:53

Well he's obviously good with words if he comes out with words like 'perseverance' at age 6, so shame he's not been given more. However, 2 words is good in my world. My DD was only ever a tree or a sheep. She got to dance but never uttered a word in any of her nativity plays.

cakeisallyouneed · 04/12/2025 22:51

When my DS was in infants he had 3 words. Some of the kids were different kinds of stars. He had to say ‘I’m a rockstar’ when it was his turn he shouted it as loud as he could and stole the show. Tell your son they’re going to be the best two words in the whole show and that he’ll be best sheep/star/lobster there’s ever been.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/12/2025 22:49

Im sure there are children with no lines and no certificate yet, it's not even end of term time so why don't you work with your son on his capacity for gratitude instead of mentioning any of this nonsense to the teacher.

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 04/12/2025 22:46

Yaffly · 04/12/2025 22:34

Mary in my son's Nativity wanted to be a donkey but got landed with the role of Mary. She forgot baby Jesus when they were leaving the stable, I think in protest.

We need the laugh emoji back for this.
In the church nativity Mary fell asleep, baby Jesus got left behind and the donkey bolted. It was brilliant.
Ohh and my DD marched up to the vicar (my friend) at the end said piped up, 'bye Rev XXX, mummy said you like wine'.

Smugzebra · 04/12/2025 22:41

Id feel sad too but unfortunately that's life.
Yeah I'd just make a big deal of those 2 lines.

As a parent of a kid who could never even be in the play because of various SEN issues having 2 lines would have been a major celebration. There will DEFINITELY be other kids with no lines or even not in the play at all.

Also do people ACTUALLY go in to school to complain about this type of thing?

He will get his turn for the certificate they always do. I remember having this conversation with my kids. They always got one in the end. Just have to be patient and it'll feel amazing when they finally win one.

Can't imagine going in and saying my kid has been whingeing about not getting star of the week or whatever it is. Then they're only getting it cos you've complained so it's absolutely meaningless....

fairislecable · 04/12/2025 22:41

When I asked my DGD why she was never picked as Star of the Week she said ‘ It’s only for the naughty kids to encourage them to behave’!

On that reasoning he should be relieved NOT to have a certificate.

Eenameenadeeka · 04/12/2025 22:36

I think there's a lot of children who don't get any lines at all, id reassure him rather than complaining.

Florally · 04/12/2025 22:35

I've watched my child in a nativity where she didn’t even get on the stage and was sitting on a bench in a donkey onesie, hood up, without moving for the whole thing. That was her part.

The following year she made it onto the back of the stage and didn’t have any lines but stood there beaming!

Any lines I think is a generous situation! Enjoy them OP and just make sure he knows you think his role is awesome. That’s all he needs.

Londonrach1 · 04/12/2025 22:34

Saying two words is amazing. Most rules have no words. Manage your child expectation here. He done so well to get two words and you coming to see and here him. He speaks his tro words clearly and looks into the audience. Even if he doesn't tell him how amazing he is.

Yaffly · 04/12/2025 22:34

Mary in my son's Nativity wanted to be a donkey but got landed with the role of Mary. She forgot baby Jesus when they were leaving the stable, I think in protest.

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:30

I have seen a nativity with a dog who had no lines and and had to crawl.

Calliopespa · 04/12/2025 22:29

FracasFracas · 04/12/2025 22:26

My son was Joseph in Reception and wanted to be a shepherd. Then he was a sheep in Year 1, and was incandescent with rage because he was ‘the wrong sheep’.

That's so cute!

Kettledodger · 04/12/2025 22:28

From the dawn of time the “middle of the road” children are often overlooked imo. Not saying that it’s right but just saying that it has always been thus and those of us that have children that just get on with things need us to be their advocates.

MarxistMags · 04/12/2025 22:27

Aw, bless him.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 04/12/2025 22:27

I think lots of kids want bigger parts in the nativity every year but such is life we can't always get what we want. He'll have potentially another few years of nativity performances ahead of him so perhaps he can have a bigger parts next time.

I don't think they can rewrite your son's part or give him more words without potentially creating havoc with all the other kids in the nativity. Like a PP suggested I'd be bigging up his two words until they are almost Olivier standard 😁.

ETA if it helps I was Mary but spent the entire thing sporting a bitchy resting face because I was super pissed that Joseph got all the lines.

MarxistMags · 04/12/2025 22:26

My grandson was delighted to have a part wearing the tea towel ! 😄

FracasFracas · 04/12/2025 22:26

My son was Joseph in Reception and wanted to be a shepherd. Then he was a sheep in Year 1, and was incandescent with rage because he was ‘the wrong sheep’.

Kirbert2 · 04/12/2025 22:24

cariadlet · 04/12/2025 22:21

That's quite likely if it's one of the school values (or whatever terminology the school uses).

One of our school values is resilience so a lot of 6 year olds know and understand the term - which I certainly wouldn't have at their age.

Show quote history

I was going to say, all of the children at my sons school, even the youngest ones know the word resilience because it is one of the school values and they hear it all of the time.

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