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Original poster

Was DD rude

184 replies

Reino · 04/12/2025 19:57

DD is 23 and is briefly living at home between gap year and moving in with her boyfriend in January.
On Sunday DH and I had some guests over, they arrived at 11, left at about 8pm, didn’t have dinner but did have lunch (we ordered it in). DD knows the guests well, would class them as family friends.

DD and her boyfriend didn’t come down stairs until about 3 o’clock, then they sat with us all, drank some wine small talked etc, before going back up to her around about 5:30. At 7pm her boyfriend came back down to collect their food delivery from the door, they hadn’t checked with anyone if they wanted anything ordered.

YANBU - They were rude, they should have come down and said hi much earlier and had lunch with everyone, or they should have checked if anyone else wanted food ordered.
YABU - They didn’t do anything wrong, it wasn’t their guests, so not their job to accommodate them.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 04/12/2025 20:03

Did you ask DD if she'd be having lunch with you? She may have thought your preference was to not have her and boyfriend there at that point of the day.

I think it's more miscommunication than rudeness. Unless her or boyfriend have a history of rudeness.

BobbyShaftoWentToSeeSilverBucklesOnHisKnee · 04/12/2025 20:02

I don't think they were rude at all, the opposite, in fact, they came down and spent a couple of hours with your guests, which they didn't have to do.

Jammiesdodger · 04/12/2025 20:02

Why didnt you serve a evening
Meal?

onetrickrockingpony · 04/12/2025 20:01

I actually think they were very considerate in keeping out of your way whilst you had guests over, sorting out their own food so as not to interfere, and politely joining you all for some of the time. They were your guests, not theirs.

therewasafishinthepercolator · 04/12/2025 20:01

Not rude at all.

Overthebow · 04/12/2025 20:00

They weren’t their guests, it was nice that they came down and chatted to them for a bit but I wouldn’t have expected more. It was your job to feed your guests if they wanted anything.

StonwEd · 04/12/2025 20:00

I have a similar age ds at home and though I'd want him to say hello, id be more than happy for him to stay upstairs for the rest of the time.

Sounds like they socialised for a good long while which is lovely - they're presumably working adults so need their down time as well.

The food ordering is defo a non issue.

amber763 · 04/12/2025 20:00

When i was in my 20s id not have wanted to sit for 9 hours with my parents friends. I dont think she did anything wrong.

ApolloandDaphne · 04/12/2025 19:59

They were your guests not theirs. What they did was fine.