Was DD rude

I think that if only family are at home and teenage or young adult dc are ordering food, then it's nice to let everyone know in case they want to order something too.

But if the parents have guests, then it's actually politer for the dc to get on with ordering for themselves rather than potentially interfering with whatever the parents are intending to do (ie whether they want the guests to leave before dinner or whether they have their own plans for feeding the guests).

Of you ordered food in at lunchtime, maybe your DD thought you didn't want another takeaway?

She claims she didn’t ask if we would like anything added to the order as she was unsure what our dinner plans were and didn’t want to offer ordering if we had planned for the guests to leave before dinner.

This seems perfectly reasonable on your daughter's behalf. She doesn't sound rude at all. In fact she sounds quite thoughtful - and I hope you and your DH aren't giving her a hard time because she made a call that you don't agree with - nobody is perfect.

Exactly this!

Kids were great, from my experience with my kids over and under 18's, they will come down have some drinks/food chat for a while and do their own thing my friends love the slight interaction with my kids but I'm sure they also love the fact that they leave us to it, your kids played that well.

OP, you're definitely right about this. Asking if anyone else wanted to add to their food order would have been the polite thing to do. It's understandable they may not have wanted to spend the whole time with you, but just popping down to say hello and checking before doing their own food order would have been nice. You sound like a really good mum. And I don't think your daughter probably meant to be rude. She just didn't think.

@CherrieTomaties Are you just saying this because your kids never bother to ask you if you want anything?

They were not being rude in the slightest, if anything they stayed longer than necessary. It was your guests not theirs. They aren't your performing monkeys entertain your own guests

Well good, they are your guests. Surely as adults you can order food for yourself if you are wanting some. Why is it your DD’s responsibility to check on you and your guests? She saw you order plenty of food for yourselves, and with more to spare, in the late afternoon and also continue to eat snacks together. She herself had not eaten. She sorted herself without disturbing you. I can only assume she saw you and your guests were very well catered for!

If she had made herself a pot noodle or a sandwich or even made a meal with her boyfriend would you then also be asking why she wasn’t offering to cook for you and your guests too??

Just accept YABU and move on I think.

Ok thanks again.

Not rude, seems perfectly normal to me.
They’re your friends, your DD and boyfriend were polite, that’s all that matters.
What youngsters would want to sit chatting to parents friends all day anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️

Offering if someone wants to add to your order doesn't mean offering to pay for it. But getting food delivered to your parent's house while they're there with guests and not asking if anyone needs anything is kind of rude.

Oh please 😂 Judgemental much? No one asked for your opinion on that.

I don't think they should have come down for lunch. In fact, I think them spending a bit of time with your friends was nice, but I do think they should have offered to add stuff to their order and asked if anyone else wanted something.

I definitely wouldn't ever get food delivered to my parents' house without asking them if they wanted something too. So, I don't think you're being unreasonable about that. Especially if they drank your wine before ordering food just for themselves!

It looks like you're looking for something to complain about.

I assume she didn't want her guest to sit around being bored to death by yours.

Wait…so you all had a full on drinking session during the day?

I am not surprised your daughter retreated to her room. That’s not normal at your age.

🙄🙄🙄.
Oh I am terribly sorry, I thought that was what this board was for.

She wasn't rude at all! Of course you can't expect someone in their early twenties to offer food to YOUR guest - how is she gonna pay for it all? Why cant you feed your own guests ？

You won't ease your guests out the door when it's time but expect your daughter to feed them? And you think she's rude?

Lunch and some snacks aren't enough for 9 hours of drinking. You should have been prepared or rounded things up at the appointed end time.

Thanks ever so much for letting me know your opinion.

DH and I felt DD had been rude, we would generally expect our children to come and say hello to any guests soon after they arrive. Generally speaking irrespective of guests are present or not I believe the polite thing to do when ordering food is to check with anyone else home if they would like anything added.

Complete insanity.

Bet your daughter can’t wait to move back out. Poor lass.

My 20 somethings still live with us but as adults I allow them the autonomy to live their own lives. I wouldn't necessarily want them to join us in a similar situation. I'd be happy with a quick hello from them and would have no issues with them making a separate order for food without asking any of my guests if they wanted anything- that would kind of look like they were offering to pay, anyway - why should they?

It's incredibly rude to tag onto someone else's takeaway order, especially when they are nothing to do with the actual dining group. Presumably they'd also expect DD to pay since she's the one putting the order in?

Nothing wrong with the OP putting their own separate order in for them and their friends of course.

Not your dd’s job to worry about offering food to your guests. If you didn’t feel any need to offer another meal why would she?

Not just not her job but also not her place to do. OP and her DH had chosen not to invite their guests to stay for dinner - it would have actually been rudely overstepping for the DD to take it upon herself to do so for them.

She wasn't rude but you were by not feeding them even snacks. They'd have been high tailing it to the nearest mcds when they left you!