What is reasonable. DS 25 going solo travelling.

I would say once a week.

If I was you I would text him though, instead of asking him to let you know he’s ok.

You could just text him every few days asking how he is.

I would definitely buy him a cheap phone with your number in to take. It’s so easy to lose/break/have your phone stolen.

Is he active on SM?
If so I would worry much less than if he isn’t.

Don’t worry this is MN you turf your kids out at 18 on here without a look back.

In the real world I have young adult children and would ask them to check in at least once a week. Just a simple text would suffice.

Yes well being naggy and all that, a lot of travel insurance needs a return date. So if he is doing open-ended travelling then that will need to be taken into acount.

He is not a youngster. Not by a long shot. He's 25!
Many people are married, with a mortgage and kids by that age.
You can explain you'll be worried and please check in... It's mad that you're asking people what is reasonable. Whatever he decides is reasonable, you don't get an input.

But not everyone wants to be tethered to home while traveling. When I am abroad I want to be totally in the moment, experiencing a different country and different culture, lifestyle, experiences. Immersing myself in the absence of humdrum, everyday life. I make it a point to turn off social media and detach from home for the duration.

Not checking my phone to see if mummy is worrying. Or composing and sending pointless updates.

If something happens to him, the authorities will notify the family. Texting every day isn't going to prevent any mishaps. It just takes him away from what should be a life-altering, mindful experience.

Every two weeks I think. The beauty of a trip like that is that he can feel he's on an adventure and getting away from it all.

At 25 years old I had a professional job, bought my own home and was living a completely independent life. I'd phone home most weeks and would probably tell my parents if I was going on holiday, but I wouldn't be in touch whilst I was away. I am not old, and the world has not changed that much since then.

Seriously??!!

And if he's out and forgets? You're just setting yourself up for panic. That is so much pressure to put on him.

I am so close to my parents, I speak to them pretty much every day now, and reading this I just love them so much for never putting these kinds of demands on me and actually allowing me my adventures.

The people I know who had these kind of expectations placed on them are the ones who are less inclined to contact with their parents now.

Has he got travel insurance? This is where I think parents can add value. I had to nag mine to take it out … and as it turned out it was money well spent. And make sure it covers motorcycle trips which are very popular on that itinerary.

A quick text every night before bed if he's travelling alone is reasonable.

If it helps at all, I honestly don't think it is a different world from 20-30 years ago, in terms of dangers while travelling. If anything it's safer because we do have ways of say, seeking help if lost - I was trekking in jungles in the late 90s/early 00s and there was none of that. I have been travelling and living abroad intermittently from now till then and I really haven't seen any growing dangers. The only change is probably the expectation of contact, because we can!

And Vietnam is a safe place, it's incredibly well trodden as a tourist route.

I'm not sure we can give advice, I think you need to discuss this with him and come up with something you both feel comfortable with.

My DD went solo travelling in the Philippines at 22, she sent a message most days and called occasionally but we didn't ask her to, she was living in Japan at the time and I didn't even know she was going til she was leaving for the airport!

My son was a little younger at 23 and travelled solo around Europe. He sent a message daily, just a WhatsApp or a random photo. I think if your lad is gone for 6 weeks a message every second day or so would be reasonable, particularly as he's travelling alone. It's hard not to worry!

Edited to say I've read all the lists now and I see the little monkey hasn't been in touch in 3 weeks! I would try not to worry, bad news travels fast, so assume he's completely fine and having a ball. But I personally would prefer more contact!

I traveled 20+years ago ( I was 24/25) and barely communicated for the year the odd email and very rare phone call, my mobile was stolen in Vietnam and it was the best thing to happen as I didn’t have to worry about it any more.
It was an amazing year and I’m so glad I did it and I became a much more confident person because of it.

My niece who is 19 and travelling with her bf is on strava and penguin apps to keep in touch. My sister does WhatsApp video her a lot .

I think it’s quite sad that even asking for a little courtesy text message is seen as too demanding - we should let other know we care for them and that includes making it clear you will worry and do want to hear from them. Don’t assume anything

seems our family is unusual but across all generations we do the odd courtesy connection

The same way you would hear about it had he texted you the previous day.
Keeping in touch is nice, but it's not preventative of anything.

This is wild. I never considered myself a young adult at 25, I was a fully fledged adult. Surely young adult is 18-20.

You lost me at “parenting a young adult”. He is TWENTY FIVE, he should not need parenting.

At 25 I’d been married for 2 years, owned a house, and had been living on my own (as the adult I was) for 5 years.

Ask him to text you a couple of times a week and share pics if he wants to, but this notion of ‘parenting a young adult’ needs to stop. You’re doing him no favours.

No, you don't. There may be a postcard at some point, there may not.

Honestly, how on earth did we all manage to survive travelling to South East Asia in the eighties/nineties 😆

The police would contact you.

But I'm 36, so it's not like this is ancient history.

I was married at 25 and had my first child at 26 but I can still understand OP’s worry. Yes he is an adult but 18 or 38 you’re still going to worry just a little if your adult child is going travelling alone in another country… surely, no one I know IRL wouldn’t give a toss if they didn’t hear from their child in 6 weeks backpacking alone in Thailand.

I think a weekly check in would be good

Honestly, none! Its up to him if he wants to contact. He'll probably be posting stuff to socials - just check that