Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wait until he comes around for his parcel

213 replies

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 14:55

It’s not the first time. It’s just ramping up closer to Christmas and I’m annoyed.

Over the last fortnight we have had several parcels for him which he never comes to collect, so me or DH end up taking them over just to get them out the house.

Last Friday DH took one over (I told him not to!) as it had been with us 3 days. I made a point of asking the postman if he gets notified we have his parcels and was told he does.

To my annoyance DD took a parcel for him Monday (she said the postman just passed it to to her whilst half asking /telling and walked off so it took her by surprise) so we now have a huge box in the hall. I am adamant no one is taking it over and if he wants it, he can bloody well walk a couple steps to get it!

Just for context, he is not physically disabled, or elderly. He is always coming and going (we’ve seen him leave and come back to the house several times today, so he could easily have knocked!) I refuse to go hand it to him!

AIBU to just keep it until he comes to get it? I’m being stubborn but he’s taking the piss now and we’re not his personal depot! DH says we should take it over on the weekend if he’s not knocked but I say no or he’ll keep just assuming we’ll bring it to him like his own personal assistants. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 18:06

meganorks · 04/12/2025 17:46

YABU unreasonable to assume he knows you have it and is just waiting for you to deliver. Most delivery people leave no notes. And even the ones from actual posties are few and far between. And honestly you are just cutting off your nose to spite your face at this point - the massive parcels are taking up your space!

By all means don't take any more, but i think you are making a lot of assumptions about why he hasn't got it

Postie said they leave notifications

OP posts:
Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 18:05

Soupdragon41 · 04/12/2025 16:33

Do you have his mobile number? Just text him. Your parcel is at number 20 please could you come and collect it. Failing that a note through his door, then refuse further parcels as planned

Why would I have his mobile number? 😭

OP posts:
meganorks · 04/12/2025 17:46

YABU unreasonable to assume he knows you have it and is just waiting for you to deliver. Most delivery people leave no notes. And even the ones from actual posties are few and far between. And honestly you are just cutting off your nose to spite your face at this point - the massive parcels are taking up your space!

By all means don't take any more, but i think you are making a lot of assumptions about why he hasn't got it

Bollindger · 04/12/2025 17:45

My neighbour orders loads online, after the delivery person knocking all the time i told them my porch is not locked just put the parcels inside.
I let them do it as they are trying to hide gifts for Xmas for 4 children, however i told them to just open the porch and collect each night.

However if I had to deliver this would NOT be happening. Stick to your guns.

HereIfYouNeedMe · 04/12/2025 17:44

I had a huge parcel of my sisters given to my neighbour and I was mortified! Told her to leave it on my doorstep but she held off till I was home from work. I hate having my sister’s parcels delivered here so know how you feel! I usually have to drive them round to her too 🙃

Original poster
quietmagic · 04/12/2025 17:41

Whoevenarethey · 04/12/2025 16:01

Hmm I agree that they don't always put a card through the door or sometimes I have had vague messages saying left with neighbour which makes it hard to know who they mean!
What does he say when you drop the parcel off?

I am guessing the post man knows you are home hence leaving with you each time.

His partner always answers and takes them in.

OP posts:
WittyJadeStork · 04/12/2025 17:40

Just give it back to the postman tomorrow don’t tell him. It’s infuriating when you become the neighbourhood parcel minder.

DaisyChain505 · 04/12/2025 17:32

If I get home and see that a neighbour has kindly taken a parcel for me I go straight round and if there not home I try again later on.

If for any reason I don’t catch them and they end up knocking on my door I apologise, explain I did try knocking and thank them very much.

Your neighbour is a cheeky fucker and I wouldn’t be taking any more packages for him.

Katemax82 · 04/12/2025 17:31

I really wish we had done this with our last neighbours. The couple living in the house attached to ours were soo effing ignorant they NEVER came round to collect parcels. We always ended up taking them round. If I could have my time again I'd refuse to take them in or keep hold of them

Asosbabe · 04/12/2025 17:25

andweallsingalong · 04/12/2025 16:36

Have you got actually, bluntly told him that you want him to come and pick parcels up as soon as he gets home?

I know it should be obvious, but could he just be a bit thick and not know convention or just think it's better not to disturb you and let you come when convenient.

This

CinnamonBuns67 · 04/12/2025 17:23

I'd pop a note through his door saying he had 48 hours to collect it (date and time the note) or it'd be getting returned to sender and follow through with it. Then obviously everyone in the household needs to remember to not accept parcels that aren't for your household and check with the courier before you take it in the house.

Zov · 04/12/2025 17:20

@quietmagic

I've picked YABU because I don't understand why on earth you keep taking in parcels for 'him.'

I don't take them in for anyone - EVER. I just CBA with the fuss and the faff, waiting for people to come and collect, (and having to spend time talking to them,) or having to take it around to them, and hope they answer the door, (and then have to spend time talking to them!)

My time is precious, and I'm not wasting it fucking around with other peoples bloody parcels!

Disclaimer: I do NOT expect people to take mine in either, and don't want them to. I have a designated safe space. If others don't - that's not my problem...

BillieWiper · 04/12/2025 17:18

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 04/12/2025 17:11

Shouldn't even have to say why you won't accept them - disabilities are nothing at all to do with the neighbour. He should stop trying to inconvenience the OP. It's just selfish behaviour when it keeps happening. Tell him to get it delivered to his work or at a time when he's at home - he may have to pay extra, but that's on him.

Show quote history

See I wouldn't be telling him where to have it delivered. I'd much rather just say I can't and give a valid reason. Or just refuse them and say nothing.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 04/12/2025 17:11

BillieWiper · 04/12/2025 16:47

You just both have to always refuse the parcels.

Say 'I'm sorry I can't as I'm going out'. The drivers will get the message and not ask you again after a while hopefully.

If your DH still insists on accepting them then let him deal with their collection.

And/Or you could write a polite note telling neighbour that you can unfortunately no longer accept them due to your disabilities.

Shouldn't even have to say why you won't accept them - disabilities are nothing at all to do with the neighbour. He should stop trying to inconvenience the OP. It's just selfish behaviour when it keeps happening. Tell him to get it delivered to his work or at a time when he's at home - he may have to pay extra, but that's on him.

Kingoftheroad · 04/12/2025 17:11

Put a note on the door “we don’t accept parcels for other households”

Cabinqueen · 04/12/2025 17:10

OneMoreProfiterole · 04/12/2025 15:20

Accept all deliveries.
Deny all knowledge.
Sell everything on eBay.

🤣

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 04/12/2025 17:09

I'd be leaving it outside his door (wouldn't care if it was raining either) with a note saying that he needs to make other arrangements as you're getting fed up with his stuff being delivered at your home.
I work from home and am constantly being asked to take neighbours parcels in - I've started to say no as I'm sick of it, to be honest. Why can't people arrange for their stuff to be delivered when they're home instead of inconveniencing their neighbours? It's so selfish.

HereforonedayonlytoavoidStrangerThingsspoilers · 04/12/2025 17:06

I bet anything the CF has put you down as the automatic default address. Our NDN did that until we started turning parcels away. I WFH and got sick of my day being interrupted to take in their parcels. They even tried to get a set of dining room chairs delivered to ours!

Don't chase him to collect the latest one, just leave it on his doorstep. Then put a note on your door saying you are only accepting parcels for your address.

Monty34 · 04/12/2025 16:57

You have no idea what is in the parcels. I absolutely would not have any parcels delivered or left at my property for other people.
You need to be very very clear to anyone trying to leave a parcel at yours ( since it happens frequently) that they are not to do so.
His problem. Not yours.

TheignT · 04/12/2025 16:52

Id walk over without the parcel and tell him he needs to come and collect it.

BillieWiper · 04/12/2025 16:47

You just both have to always refuse the parcels.

Say 'I'm sorry I can't as I'm going out'. The drivers will get the message and not ask you again after a while hopefully.

If your DH still insists on accepting them then let him deal with their collection.

And/Or you could write a polite note telling neighbour that you can unfortunately no longer accept them due to your disabilities.

CoffeeCantata · 04/12/2025 16:46

Bookpage · 04/12/2025 15:05

I think it's really odd, the things that make people cross.

I have safe places set up for all the delivery comanies, but they don't always use them and sometimes go to a neighbour.

Yes, they notify me by email, but I don't often have any reason to check my emails, so sometimes I won't realise a neighbour has my parcel until I start wondering why my delivery hasn't turned up.

Hold onto it or take it round, but dont waste so much energy on it.

I get why OP is cross. So nothing makes you cross then?

Being ignored, treated as an errand boy/girl and never thanked would make any reasonable person cross after a while.

LargeJugs · 04/12/2025 16:44

You’ve made it too easy by taking them in and hand delivering them. You’ve changed the rules by refusing to drop off but he’ll be none the wiser so leave him a note that he now has to collect. Plus stop accepting in future.

NebulousSadTimes · 04/12/2025 16:43

Does the huge box have the name of the sender on it @quietmagic ? Do you have a spare tiny cardboard box? You could rig up a fake label, wrap it round the small box and take it to him saying "This is your parcel from Temu, it's been clogging up my hallway since Monday" and watch his puzzled face when he starts to wonder if he's ordered a dolls house item. Then walk away. Make him chase up the big box.

MrsEmmelinePankhurst · 04/12/2025 16:39

I wouldn’t put the parcel on his doorstep.

I’d put it outside MY front door and just leave it there. (Obviously not right where you’ll trip over it as you come and go OP). Then ignore it and crack on with your life.

The rest of us can place bets on how long it takes old lazy bones to come and collect his parcel.