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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wait until he comes around for his parcel

213 replies

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 14:55

It’s not the first time. It’s just ramping up closer to Christmas and I’m annoyed.

Over the last fortnight we have had several parcels for him which he never comes to collect, so me or DH end up taking them over just to get them out the house.

Last Friday DH took one over (I told him not to!) as it had been with us 3 days. I made a point of asking the postman if he gets notified we have his parcels and was told he does.

To my annoyance DD took a parcel for him Monday (she said the postman just passed it to to her whilst half asking /telling and walked off so it took her by surprise) so we now have a huge box in the hall. I am adamant no one is taking it over and if he wants it, he can bloody well walk a couple steps to get it!

Just for context, he is not physically disabled, or elderly. He is always coming and going (we’ve seen him leave and come back to the house several times today, so he could easily have knocked!) I refuse to go hand it to him!

AIBU to just keep it until he comes to get it? I’m being stubborn but he’s taking the piss now and we’re not his personal depot! DH says we should take it over on the weekend if he’s not knocked but I say no or he’ll keep just assuming we’ll bring it to him like his own personal assistants. AIBU?

OP posts:
RedToothBrush · 05/12/2025 13:49

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:03

“To my annoyance DD took a parcel for him…”

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Well your problem is your daughter not him then.

FuzzyPuffling · 05/12/2025 13:39

Bagwyllydiart · 05/12/2025 07:46

I had neighbours that had a SOFA delivered to me when they were on holiday. I told the delivery men to leave in the front garden, they wouldn’t and took it away. Neighbours were furious at me when they got back from holiday, FOUR WEEKS LATER! We don’t speak now.

What??? Good grief, some people have no shame.

Bagwyllydiart · 05/12/2025 07:46

I had neighbours that had a SOFA delivered to me when they were on holiday. I told the delivery men to leave in the front garden, they wouldn’t and took it away. Neighbours were furious at me when they got back from holiday, FOUR WEEKS LATER! We don’t speak now.

custardcreme77 · 05/12/2025 07:09

Omgmetooee · 04/12/2025 18:44

OP, can you ask postman to put next door's parcels in your wheelie bin.

Then let next door know that you are decorating and no room inside. Remind them what day bin day is 🤣

…or better still, put in the neighbour’s wheelie bin.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/12/2025 19:14

I’d tell him that if he doesn’t collect them by X pm on X date, you’re going to put them all outside in the rain, where they will very likely get nicked, too.

snackatack · 04/12/2025 19:02

A few options:

1 - Open it and if you like it - keep it - say you sent it back/Deny all knowledge of its whereabouts - say Oh we took a load of stuff to charity perhaps it went with it

2- Open it return it to sender

3 - Leave it on their doorstep with or without a note being put through

Namechangerage · 04/12/2025 18:52

I would take it round and say, “just to let you know we won’t be able to take parcels going forward, I wanted to let you know so you can set up a safe place”

Umy15r03lcha1 · 04/12/2025 18:49

Leave it in your front yard and email him to collect

Namechangerage · 04/12/2025 18:49

My neighbour’s daughter started using my actual address whenever she went on holiday!! Her name with my address - I didn’t know her name so the first one I opened to get the company info as there was no return to sender on the package, and I was a bit worried it was some kind of scam.

She came to collect a MONTH later, I apologised for opening and said I didn’t know why she had put my address it. hoping she wouldn’t do it again!

Obviously the subtle approach didn’t work and she did do it again! Second time I took it round and left no ambiguity. None since 🤣 people are very strange….

InMyOodie · 04/12/2025 18:46

I've never come across so many people taking in parcels for neighbours. In my area couriers and postmen just leave the parcels on the doorstep. They wouldn't be bothering neighbours with them.

Omgmetooee · 04/12/2025 18:44

OP, can you ask postman to put next door's parcels in your wheelie bin.

Then let next door know that you are decorating and no room inside. Remind them what day bin day is 🤣

IsntItDarkOut · 04/12/2025 18:41

My NDN grandson sends all his parcels to his Grandma but she is out loads. I’ve ended up taking them in and he avoids coming to get them. I took one round as she had one of mine and she said he was desperate for it - so why leave it in mine for 5 days.
i don’t take any for a neighbour who we don’t speak to, delivery men/post men get to know fairly quickly.

Strawberryfruitcorner · 04/12/2025 18:40

Bookpage · 04/12/2025 15:05

I think it's really odd, the things that make people cross.

I have safe places set up for all the delivery comanies, but they don't always use them and sometimes go to a neighbour.

Yes, they notify me by email, but I don't often have any reason to check my emails, so sometimes I won't realise a neighbour has my parcel until I start wondering why my delivery hasn't turned up.

Hold onto it or take it round, but dont waste so much energy on it.

Sorry but if you had a parcel due one day wouldn’t you be aware of that day and check that day if it hasn’t arrived?

pestowithwalnuts · 04/12/2025 18:37

FuzzyPuffling · 04/12/2025 15:25

We used to take in parcels for next door, but they were not collected. We checked with delivery companies that they'd put a card through the door. After 4 days or so we'd take them round. Storage space is very limited. Grumpy.

The final straw was when we saw a notice on their front door saying " All deliveries to next door" with an arrow pointing at our house. They hadn't even asked!

We don't accept anything for them now. People would rather use neighbours as a storage facility than be thoughtful.

What cheeky fuckers !

DisorganisedMummyTurningOrgnaised · 04/12/2025 18:36

Wait for an intense downpour of rain and then drop it at his front door. Amazon do it, why can’t you 😂

Zov · 04/12/2025 18:33

pestowithwalnuts · 04/12/2025 18:19

Exactly...no mention of who 'HE' is in the op.
Im assuming its a neighbour

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This. ^ The OP is not answering the question 'why do you keep taking this man's parcels in?' either!

pestowithwalnuts · 04/12/2025 18:31

Katemax82 · 04/12/2025 17:31

I really wish we had done this with our last neighbours. The couple living in the house attached to ours were soo effing ignorant they NEVER came round to collect parcels. We always ended up taking them round. If I could have my time again I'd refuse to take them in or keep hold of them

If you had a shed you could have chucked them in there until they decided to come for them

Bloodylovecheese · 04/12/2025 18:30

I'd leave a note through his door saying that you've returned his parcel back with the courier as you refused to take it in. He'll get the hint.

Whoevenarethey · 04/12/2025 18:26

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 17:41

His partner always answers and takes them in.

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So is the partner home during the day?
Is the partner grateful/appreciative? Is it only his parcels that end up at yours and not the partners?!

SingingOcean · 04/12/2025 18:22

Your DD took it in, I think it's on her to take it around until he answers the door. That'll learn her.

pestowithwalnuts · 04/12/2025 18:19

Clarinet1 · 04/12/2025 15:20

Sorry if I’m missing something but who is “He”? And why does he not get things delivered to his own home?

Exactly...no mention of who 'HE' is in the op.
Im assuming its a neighbour

meganorks · 04/12/2025 18:17

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 18:06

Postie said they leave notifications

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I saw that. But firstly, he's unlikely to say he doesn't. Even if he does, doesn't mean the guy finds it. I've found them weeks/months later before where they fallen behind stuff or just stuck in the letter box - they won't go through unless you shove your whole hand through as it's a really stiff/strong

Leopardsandcheetahsarefast · 04/12/2025 18:15

quietmagic · 04/12/2025 15:00

Yes that was the plan but DD just did. We aren’t accepting anymore. Thought it was a nice thing to do but realise bring nice means being a doormat.

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We did and she never thanked us and never collected so we said no after a while. We get asked from time to time and we just say ‘sorry we don’t take it parcels for number 4’ we used to get pleading from delivery drivers but we stick firm and said ‘nope we don’t do it’. Haven’t had a knock for 3 months for it - so it’s clearly working!!
Unfortunately you might have either verbally or legally signed / agreed now so it is your responsibility you took it. I would return this one he made not have been told where it is and to be fair may not have been asked to leave it with you.

Zov · 04/12/2025 18:10

@quietmagic Why do you keep taking the parcels in?

OnlyFannys · 04/12/2025 18:08

Its pissing down here so I'd just leave it out in the rain