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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I know I'm not being unreasonable ...

31 replies

MyBossIsADickhead · 04/12/2025 12:57

My boss is in fact a dickhead. My question is where would you place them on the 1-10 scale of being a dickhead, with 1 being an amateur and 10 being a 5 star, fully fledged dickhead?

Today in an across departments meeting, his introduce yourself and chat question for everyone was 'If you thought you were going to die in the next 12 months, what would you do and why?'. Cue lots of ideas of spending sprees, holidays and what they'd do if they got a cancer diagnosis. Dickhead boss laughing and facilitating the discussion. Until the fuckwit looked in my direction, saw my face and the horrified faces of my colleagues, and the penny finally dropped. Probably not the best 'opener' when your employee is currently in the middle of cancer treatment.

I'd put them at a 20.

OP posts:
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Notonthestairs · 04/12/2025 13:54

Op -pleased you have someone to rely on at work. best of luck for your surgery. Take every bit of time off you need to recover.

TidyDancer · 04/12/2025 13:53

That’s awful. I don’t have sufficient words for how awful it is, it’s that’s level of awful. I’m so sorry he’s heaped shit on you when you least needed it!

Notonthestairs · 04/12/2025 13:52

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Thats all you can say?

BauhausOfEliott · 04/12/2025 13:49

Bloody hell, this is a whole new level of tactless. What a dickwipe.

Thinking about it, even if there'd been nobody in the room who was in your situation, it would have been a pretty poor choice as an ice-breaker. I found out last week that my colleague's dad has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Nobody else in our department knows that, but I doubt she'd be delighted to have to sit through a 'What would you do if you'd just been told your days were numbered?' chat.

Shoeshone · 04/12/2025 13:48

Of all the topics to chat about, this is what he came up with? What a fool. Hope you are ok OP. All the best for the op and recovery x

Shoeshone · 04/12/2025 13:47

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More than one person behaving like a dickhead on this thread it seems.

Clarinet1 · 04/12/2025 13:44

Oh poor OP - I’m so sorry you went through this. I would definitely get your friend in HR on the case and your union if you belong to one.
I wish you all the best for your treatment and hope you are able to enjoy Christmas.

Edied for typo and phrasing.

SparkleSpriteDust · 04/12/2025 13:44

It's like a very bad scene from 'The Office'.

Just... wow.

TFImBackIn · 04/12/2025 13:43

What an idiot he is. Even if you weren't having treatment, how does he know that none of the others don't have families and friends who are affected?

I really hope your treatment goes well and yes, of course you must stay off until after Christmas. I hope your friend manages to knock some sense into him.

K0OLA1D · 04/12/2025 13:41

Fucking cunt.

I hope you go on ok next week op x

Fdsew · 04/12/2025 13:39

MyBossIsADickhead · 04/12/2025 13:21

The HR boss is one of my closest friends from before I started there. She'll unleash hell when she hears.

I hope so.
I know of 4 people with very close family in treatment and to be asked such a question would upset them terribly.

I really hope he gets hell.
Wishing you well.

sprigatito · 04/12/2025 13:39

I’m gasping. I hope your HR friend has him tarred and feathered. He makes David Brent look enlightened.

LeftBoobGoneRogue · 04/12/2025 13:37

@MyBossIsADickheadnever a truer username.
Does your idiot boss not realise that cancer is a protected characteristic and that you should be free from discrimination and harassment?
I am being treated for breast cancer and would be mortified if I had been in that meeting. Sending you best wishes for your treatment.

VoltaireMittyDream · 04/12/2025 13:36

Jesus Christ. What a fucking monstrous dickhead. I am so sorry OP. Come back and let us know when the HR lady has torn him a new one.

Enigma54 · 04/12/2025 13:28

I am dealing with 2 cancer diagnosis. The treatment is brutal. Your boss is an off the scale fucking dickhead!!!!!

Egglio · 04/12/2025 13:27

Absolutely fuck him for not even having the balls to apologise. I'm sorry OP. That was an awful experience he put you through.

Ablondiebutagoody · 04/12/2025 13:26

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AwfullyGood · 04/12/2025 13:26

There is no better battle than a strong HR lady and an idiot male employee.

Let her at him!

NooNakedJacuzziness · 04/12/2025 13:24

What an absolute tit. “Kick my boss in the balls” would be the way to go.

TheatricalLife · 04/12/2025 13:24

Fucking hell, I'm mortified for him 😬😬😬
At least other people were horrified as well and you've got colleagues who are actually decent. The lack of apology puts him at a solid 11 out of 10 on your dickhead scale.
Wishing you the very best of luck with your cancer treatment ❤️

purplecorkheart · 04/12/2025 13:24

MyBossIsADickhead · 04/12/2025 13:21

The HR boss is one of my closest friends from before I started there. She'll unleash hell when she hears.

I am glad that you will have her full support. I hope she goes Nuclear with him.

Wishing you all the best with your treatment and recovery.

katmarie · 04/12/2025 13:24

Jesus christ, I have met some dickheads, but that is on another level. I am so sorry for your health issues OP, and that you have to deal with this utter card carrying specialist dickhead at the same time.

MyBossIsADickhead · 04/12/2025 13:21

The HR boss is one of my closest friends from before I started there. She'll unleash hell when she hears.

OP posts:
AwfullyGood · 04/12/2025 13:19

He is beyond an absolute dickhead.

The fact he didn't even take you aside afterwards and apologise for his behaviour is even more astounding.

Pranksters · 04/12/2025 13:15

I’m so sorry this happened to you.

Have you got an HR dept you can contact?