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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think its scary how messed up and horrible some people are?

141 replies

girlfriend44 · 04/12/2025 12:34

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj4q9pxyv7go.amp

Poor women having to deal with him.
Is there any point to his life.
Dosent seem like he wants to live himself?

A mugshot of Jonty Bravery, who is wearing a grey shirt. He is staring at the camera and has a beard and short, blonde hair.

Man who threw boy from Tate Modern assaulted Broadmoor nurses - BBC News

Jonty Bravery was given a life sentence for hurting the boy and is being held at Broadmoor Hospital.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cj4q9pxyv7go.amp

OP posts:
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TreeDudette · 05/12/2025 15:18

Eaglesfortea · 04/12/2025 12:44

YANBU, I don’t see what point we’re making as a society by keeping people like this alive, costing us hundreds of thousands of pounds. The Southport killer too. They should be offered assisted suicide at least.

We keep these people alive because the alternative is morally abhorrent. State sanctioned killing. Who do we kill? How do we make sure that we don't accidentally kill the wrong people? Who makes the choice? Look at our history of falsely finding people guilty.. it's awful for them but so much better when you can let them out and appologise later than having to dig them up to do so!
And who does the killing? You fancy killing people for a living because I don't!

Citrusbergamia · 05/12/2025 12:51

Citrusbergamia · 05/12/2025 12:44

It does make me wonder what kind of childhood he did actually have though.

What were his school years like? Did he ever have childhood friendships? Did his parents abandon him? Or were his parents doing the absolute maximum possible to get help for him/them from the moment they discovered he 'wasn't quite right'? Were they ignored? Were they faced with waiting lists for diagnosis/medication (like we see so much of these days)? Do we know his background? (As you can tell, I've not read anything about him other than his crime)

And in asking these questions, I am NOT in anyway shape or form, excusing any of his abhorrent behaviour; just curious as to whether he was born with a mis-wired brain from the word go, or was this nurtured in him?

And yes, I agree, if he wants to kill himself, then let him do it.

I should have read the whole thread before posting! I see that some PP have read insights into his younger life.

Citrusbergamia · 05/12/2025 12:44

CheeseIsMyIdol · 04/12/2025 15:23

They raised him.

I think it’s time parents started being held accountable for outcomes.

It does make me wonder what kind of childhood he did actually have though.

What were his school years like? Did he ever have childhood friendships? Did his parents abandon him? Or were his parents doing the absolute maximum possible to get help for him/them from the moment they discovered he 'wasn't quite right'? Were they ignored? Were they faced with waiting lists for diagnosis/medication (like we see so much of these days)? Do we know his background? (As you can tell, I've not read anything about him other than his crime)

And in asking these questions, I am NOT in anyway shape or form, excusing any of his abhorrent behaviour; just curious as to whether he was born with a mis-wired brain from the word go, or was this nurtured in him?

And yes, I agree, if he wants to kill himself, then let him do it.

Vinvertebrate · 05/12/2025 12:42

Pavementworrier · 04/12/2025 16:50

You will find more male prisoners are diagnosed with autism than psychopathy (by a country mile)

I imagine more male prisoners are diagnosed with type 2 diabetes than psychopathy as well. Maybe a similar number are Doctor Who fans, or left handed. So what?

There is countless research suggesting that - contrary to public perception - autistic individuals are not more likely to commit violent crime. There is also some research indicating that autistics are more likely than average to be victims of crime, and quite a bit which indicates a certain subset of autistics, who just bloody love sticking to rules, are fanatical about not committing any crimes at all, even teeny ones.

Vinvertebrate · 05/12/2025 12:26

Pavementworrier · 04/12/2025 16:50

That's your opinion. Mine is that the autism is the primary problem. I appreciate this is upsetting to some people.

How refreshing to see unmoderated ableism on MN. Makes such a nice change.

Said nobody ever. 🙄

Bambamhoohoo · 05/12/2025 11:51

dairydebris · 05/12/2025 08:35

Maybe Musk was a bad example 🙄

It’s almost like rather than read your though and thoughtful post they want to pick away at something insignificant isn’t it?! Frustrating.

HRTQueen · 05/12/2025 11:16

we have no idea what he does all day

in secure hospitals like Broadmoor there is a programme of actives form educational to supporting patients improve their every day living skills to therapeutic therapies both group and 1-1

for many patients there will be periods with no engagement that you may see as meaningful but there is always some form of therapeutic work happening. At times people can simply be too unwell to engage

girlfriend44 · 05/12/2025 11:01

What does he do all day?

OP posts:
dairydebris · 05/12/2025 08:35

BackToLurk · 05/12/2025 08:21

Maybe Musk’s genius is convincing some people he’s a genius.

Maybe Musk was a bad example 🙄

BackToLurk · 05/12/2025 08:21

ClockGoesBack · 05/12/2025 08:19

Off topic but Musk? A genius?
He didn’t even create any of his current businesses from scratch

Maybe Musk’s genius is convincing some people he’s a genius.

ClockGoesBack · 05/12/2025 08:19

dairydebris · 04/12/2025 15:29

I think because he's part of the human condition.

We have geniuses such as Einstein and Musk, and heros such as the guy who stopped the Huntingdon train stabber, sorry just first examples that came to my mind. They're examples of how great humans can be. They're outliers in a positive sense. Developmentally speaking, every brain evolves differently- we take the good. On the other hand, there will be unfortunate people such as JB who develop brains that lead them to actions such as his. Basically, his brain is fucked. He's got the totally shitty end of the evolutionary stick. So, I think yes he should be accommodated. He's a part of the human race. And by accommodated I mean locked away forever. I dont think we can just kill him. He disgusts and scares me, but he's part of us.

Just my opinion- I'm not explaining very well.

Off topic but Musk? A genius?
He didn’t even create any of his current businesses from scratch

FancyNewt · 05/12/2025 07:52

I see the financial cost of keeping him alive as a reasonable cost to society for saving someone if we were to have capital punishment and they were innocent.

bittertwisted · 05/12/2025 06:31

Notmollybutdolly · 04/12/2025 17:57

So if he’s trying to mill himself, does that mean that he realises the wrong in his actions?

He was attempting suicide well before the Tate actions.
My son attempted suicide on numerous occasions between the ages of 6 and 8, can all you ‘blame the parents’ brigade understand how that feels? I am not sure it is anything to do with knowing right from wrong, I felt my boy hated what he was, whatever torment was in his brain, he felt wrong himself. He was incapable of fitting in to a world that he didn’t understand, and unfortunately the violent and frightening ways he reacted made it worse. I once found him running through the corridors at school screaming just to cope, he didn’t even recognise me.

im not excusing JBs actions, autism can never be an excuse. But people need to understand you cannot always say ‘blame the parents’, sometimes sadly it is the parenting.
I have 2 younger sons, not a single behaviour point, detention, act of aggression in their whole lives.
This is not a linear argument, as I said above my son’s outcome has been miraculously wonderful, he has a fully independent successful life. He is doing his masters. Managed a very busy bar in Liverpool in his gap year. I would never have dreamt it was possible, but cases like JB take me to a very dark place where I know things could have been so different.

marmalade007 · 05/12/2025 06:01

Pity the staff couldn't have all been on the phone or lighting a smoke at the time. I am against the death penalty but if someone like that is actively trying to kill themselves, then I don't think anyone should stand in their way. As long as they don't take anyone with them.
I'm against state sanctioned killing, mostly because of the possibility of mistakes ( which have happened at least in the US) and the slippery slope argument. Where do we stop?
But the evil monster wants to jump off a roof . Goodo. Have at it. Just feel sorry for the poor ambo's and clean up team.

bittertwisted · 05/12/2025 05:40

Bambamhoohoo · 04/12/2025 16:15

What does this post mean? He’s been unmanageable since he was a teenager.

apparently His dad was a campaigner for parents of autistic children to get more support. They got little until he had to be removed from them because he was so violent.

It’s unbelievable isn’t it, the prissy perfect my parenting would never allow this to happen shit.
people have NO IDEA the challenges and pain of parenting an autistic child with severe behavioural problems, some ivory tower view that we all couldn’t care less, probably too busy having our nails done and the like.

i feel incredibly grateful that the years of hard graft, therapy, special education, love and sheer fighting for my very complex little boy had a successful outcome.
but this post proves that people have no inkling of the nights I spent terrified that the violent, innapropiate, seemingly uncontrollable behaviour my son was showing would result in prison or an early death.
because I loved him still with all my heart, and my heart is still full of the successful, yet still autistic young man he now is.
so all take your judgement of these parents elsewhere, you have no idea

bittertwisted · 05/12/2025 05:24

CheeseIsMyIdol · 04/12/2025 15:23

They raised him.

I think it’s time parents started being held accountable for outcomes.

What an ignorant thing to say. Are you so lacking in critical thinking that you cannot understand some things cannot be ‘parented’ out of a child?

teletubs · 05/12/2025 05:14

It explains clearly that the doctors said the autism didn’t cause this behaviour, but the psychopathy

NeedANapAgain · 05/12/2025 04:51

IcyPuddles · 04/12/2025 17:29

I’m against capital punishment but it really does make you wonder what the point is really? What’s he contributing to humanity?

The question isn’t what he’s contributing to humanity, but what he’s taken from it.

Namechangetime99 · 05/12/2025 01:42

Looking at this guy with as little emotion as I can

  • if I was so tormented internally as wanting to end my life ( I've felt close to this), and someone forced their will on me, forcing me to stay alive when I had got to the point of almost achieving that terrifying end ( suicide) - well I would be so overwhelmed with emotions at this point, being held down, restrained and forced to live on a mattress empty room, I would be clawing faces and scratching eyeballs out.

Punishment again for this incredibly human reaction feels wrong. Of course someone is going to lose it. Who really says at point of almost ending it, ph thanks so much I've suddenly decided I would love to live now in this mattress only room.

I would like him to succeed in ending his life. It looks like nothing but torment and hell internally. Externally it is the same with those conditions described. He's too dangerous to be walking free. There are no answers.

Anyone allowing his suicide would be ripped a new one. I'm a huge advocate for assisted suicide. But one could say there's a vulnerability to him being autistic so could he be coerced into it. No easy answers here. Scary.

ChristmasCrumblings · 05/12/2025 01:16

ThisLittlePony · 04/12/2025 14:32

I don’t know if I should be amazed or what from all those who are so compassionate and have some form of sympathy for JB, I just cannot.

For me, it's not compassion. It's science. We are all products of our environment and genetic make up. I (just as everybody else on this thread) was lucky that I was born to be relatively normal and was brought up in a normal environment. I could have been him. We all could have been but thankfully the majority of humans are not. So I think he needs to be kept away from society to keep society safe but in his confinement he should be treated with dignity and respect just as we would do with any another human and that includes keeping him alive as we don't do state sponsored murder in this country.

I have compassion for that poor boy and his family though. What unimaginably bad luck.

girlfriend44 · 05/12/2025 01:03

ExpressCheckout · 04/12/2025 15:52

Just to be clear, I would not leave a child in the care of someone who thinks the death penalty, or some of the other punishments suggested here, is acceptable.

But seriously, calling for the execution of someone who is mentally ill? Who is next, disabled people?

Surveys actually show that the loudest “hang them” voices are disproportionately among Brexit and Reform supporters.

Yet Brexit itself has caused roughly 1,485 extra deaths per year in NHS hospitals because EU nurses left the UK.

So if we are going to talk about “justice,” perhaps you should think a bit more about your own choices and their consequences, too.

Otherwise, it looks like hypocrisy dressed up as morality.

Source: https://www.surrey.ac.uk/news/brexit-has-caused-1485-additional-deaths-year-due-eu-nurses-leaving-uk

He dosent want to live.

OP posts:
HRTQueen · 04/12/2025 22:33

ThisLittlePony · 04/12/2025 18:34

Imagine any non criminals getting the same level of quick care and attention they’d get if people like Bravery need hospital care, sincerely doubt hed have to wait on and A&E trolley!

Of course he wouldn’t be left on a trolley in a&e as the safety of the public is priority

but if you think prisoners in prison or patients in secure hospitals get preferential treatment you are very much mistaken

CoffeeCantata · 04/12/2025 19:57

girlfriend44 · 04/12/2025 14:07

Its horrendous for people guarding him what if nobody wants to do it.

What does he do all day?
I think they should let him go if he wants too.

I agree.

I'm opposed to the death penalty but this is different. If he really wants to end his life he should be allowed to do so. He could discuss it with professional staff and make an informed decision.

Pavementworrier · 04/12/2025 18:46

ThisLittlePony · 04/12/2025 18:34

Imagine any non criminals getting the same level of quick care and attention they’d get if people like Bravery need hospital care, sincerely doubt hed have to wait on and A&E trolley!

yes they even get "luxury" treatments like ADHD medication without having to wait for half a day

If they didn't exist they would be better off and so would everyone else

ThisLittlePony · 04/12/2025 18:35

Waitingfordoggo · 04/12/2025 17:40

I really feel for the nurses. I’m sure they are physically tough and have received lots of training but women being expected to restrain someone like this is madness. He looks to be a pretty big, strong man. He could kill a woman with his bare hands, surely?

And when he does “lessons will be learned” and the bleeding hearts will weep for him and worry about how upset he is.

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