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Original poster

To stop giving myself a hard time about the amount of TV my toddler is watching?

232 replies

wetwinter · 04/12/2025 12:26

Toddler (2 and a half) is watching too much TV. I know this.

She generally wakes at around 6, and I go downstairs with her so she doesn’t wake anyone else up. And the TV does go on then. It’s dark, cold, I’m tired and not up for much else.

Then I make breakfast and get everyone dressed and out on the school run for older sibling. We then generally do an activity in the morning; a playgroup or swimming. We do get outside if the weather is OK. Then home for lunch. It’s then things get a bit tricky. She has dropped her nap and attempts to encourage ‘quiet time’ haven’t been very successful; she just cries / gets upset in her cot. So she watched TV during and after lunch.

Then after I’ve picked her sister up from school they play for a bit but then at around 4, she’s getting very, very tired and her sister is also wanting to chill out and watch some TV, so on it goes again Hmm

I do feel guilty about it and worry a lot I’m impeding her development. It wasn’t too bad when she slept a bit later in the morning and was still napping; it was just a little bit in the morning and then evening. Now though it feels like it’s really creeping up but with the weather being wet and cold and dark early it’s hard finding motivation.

I know there are activities like reading, colouring which we do do but they don’t hold her attention for long at all.

I am wondering whether to just accept it’s winter; the screen time will go up and go down to sensible levels again as the weather improves or to make more of an effort!

OP posts:
AliceinWonderland2012 · 04/12/2025 19:30

Don’t stress about it.

one thing I did when mine were small, as others have said, is put live CBeebies on.

Inevitability something boring would come on and mine would wander off to play.

easier to stay watching if you get to select every episode. It’s called a Netflix binge for a reason.

mine are teenagers now and are doing well in school, well adjusted, despite too much tv.

I think as long as you are fitting in getting out of the house (when you can in this rain) and playing with them a little each day, relax.

Oh, I also used to put colouring pages on the coffee table, between mine and the tv: they often used to start colouring whilst half watching.

Devilsmommy · 04/12/2025 19:29

FunnysInLaJardin · 04/12/2025 14:07

interesting split between the parents of adult DC who say its fine and the parents of young DC who say its not.

I am in the former category and say its fine!

I've got a 3 year old and my TV gets put on when he's up at 5am. It stays on all day if we don't get out. I guess luckily for me my little one isn't one to sit and watch stuff for ages. He prefers his toys and might look up if he hears something interesting. And he never whinges for it either. I think when there's too strict a routine it makes them want it more. Our TV was always on when we were kids as we're all of my friends and we all turned out fine

arcticpandas · 04/12/2025 19:23

wetwinter · 04/12/2025 18:42

Well, I really do appreciate that Smile

I’m not worried about her attention span, she plays much better independently than her sister did at an equivalent age, in fact.

Show quote history

Anecdotal but if it can make you feel better:
I was a sahm to my boys and had very strict rules about screen time when they were young. My neighbour let her son grow up infront of their tv. He's extremely intelligent and social. My dh and myself were all smug about how we didn't give much screen time telling ourselves that the neighbour's poor kid would have some major development problems while ours would be thriving with all books read to them and board games played.

😂 My neighbour's son is thriving (and I'm very happy for him).

mindutopia · 04/12/2025 19:13

It’s fine. 🤷🏻‍♀️ When my youngest was 2, it was lockdown. I was working plus home schooling a 7 year old. My 2 year old literally watched tv like it was a full time job, 8-6 every weekday. I had no choice.

He is a perfectly developmentally normal, articulate 7 year old now who is particularly gifted at maths. He has otherwise had a life filled with lots of socialising and time outside and is not particularly obsessed with tv now. He often gets up before the rest of us and just builds Lego instead of turning on the tv.

Nosleepforthismum · 04/12/2025 19:11

You’re fine OP. I have a 2.5 year old too who has mostly dropped her nap but she will also zone out in front of the tv for a couple of hours and it’s just because she’s tired (but not enough to nap). I’ve found my 4 year old to have mostly lost interest in the tv now so I do think it’s an age/dropping their nap thing.

Mine are hideous 5am risers so CBeebies is on most mornings while I down a coffee but I do turn it off when it’s time for breakfast and then we get ready for preschool. It’s usually on in the evenings too but I constantly go back and forth with guilt and will make huge efforts with crafts and enthusiastic engagement some days and others where I just can’t be bothered so back to CBeebies - but tbh in the evenings they don’t sit to watch it, it’s just on while they play.

Definitely knock it on the head while eating but otherwise I wouldn't worry.

MsTiggy · 04/12/2025 19:05

I’m of the “it’s fine “ cohort. My 2 are in their mid/late 20’s. Sometimes I realised the same Ceebeebies programme was on for the 2nd (3rd) time. They were on a loop back then. But they also played out a lot, did loads of activities etc.

Don’t be so hard on yourself OP. My 2 are superb, successful people. Did them no harm. Too many parents these days are too critical of themselves and others. Your kids have a loving home, and your posts show the variety of activities you do. You’re doing fine.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 04/12/2025 18:56

Give yourself a break op!

I have a no tv before school rule cus I find that he behaviour of 4 year old and trying to get out the house awful when tv been on

but I let the baby watch a bit of it’s very early wake and he watches a little bit sometimes after lunch before nap if I’m home with him alone so I can quickly get tidied up / make my own lunch

we have the tv on then after school from around 4 - 6 sometimes and i don’t care tbh the kids get some downtime and can get dinner ready!

4 year old at after school club anyway 3 days so is only happening two days I guess

weekends we are out all day as much as possible so I don’t care about a bit of tv and don’t think it’s a big problem

I think the iPad is much worse - but no issues with the main tv being on

snoopythebeagle · 04/12/2025 18:52

ladykale · 04/12/2025 18:38

Horrible pattern to set.

if you have very little tv from the start, what you find is they engage in more imaginative play by themselves. That should be the aim.

That depends on the child.

SouthLondonMum22 · 04/12/2025 18:44

If we're at home, the TV is on.

DS will be 3 at the weekend and twin DD's are 19 months.

They don't just sit and watch it like zombies but do plenty at nursery, play with toys etc so a bit of chill time watching TV in the morning and after nursery really doesn't bother me.

Original poster
wetwinter · 04/12/2025 18:42

thetallfairy · 04/12/2025 18:37

I can't see the problem at all

I'm a child psychologist btw

Well, I really do appreciate that Smile

I’m not worried about her attention span, she plays much better independently than her sister did at an equivalent age, in fact.

OP posts:
ladykale · 04/12/2025 18:38

Gets a bit circular though as more tv affects their attention span so they’ll be less capable at playing alone

ladykale · 04/12/2025 18:38

Horrible pattern to set.

if you have very little tv from the start, what you find is they engage in more imaginative play by themselves. That should be the aim.

thetallfairy · 04/12/2025 18:37

I can't see the problem at all

I'm a child psychologist btw

Original poster
wetwinter · 04/12/2025 18:34

I’ve found the same @Curiousrobin , three and a half plus definitely has more variation for activities.

OP posts:
Original poster
wetwinter · 04/12/2025 18:33

She can focus. Just not especially on crafts Smile To be fair, I was never very good at crafts and things like that either.

@Weeken you see as much as I value constructive sort of criticism those sorts of replies are just spiteful. Since birth, she’s been immersed in stories, songs and nature; she’s been taken to swimming, sensory classes and rhyme times at the library, we spend a lot of time outside, she might not be able to sit quietly colouring for hours but she can tell you what a robin, blackbird, magpie etc are. I’ve been quite open about the fact too much TV has crept in over the last couple of weeks and am addressing this. But it doesn’t undo the good stuff that’s been done. That post and ones like it are the reason I had to step back from the thread for a while because I was getting quite upset by it. It’s one thing to say ‘yeah, a bit too much, have you thought about …’; another thing to accuse me of ‘ruining her attention span’ Hmm

Lovely to see MN are really encouraging a kinder space, though Confused

OP posts:
Curiousrobin · 04/12/2025 18:20

I used to worry about this, but I honestly don't think it sounds too much. I've found it easier to lessen as DS gets older. He's nearly 4 now so I can more easily keep him busy with role-playing with toys, puzzles, etc. There were times he definitely had too much screen time. But he's so social, has talked well from a young age, like a sponge for information, well mannered, etc. If it's harmed his development (like MN members would say) then I haven't seen the evidence yet!

Jk987 · 04/12/2025 18:17

MyOliveStork · 04/12/2025 12:29

Sorry but that is way too much screen time. You are making a rod for your own back by letting this happen. No TV or screens for toddlers, and TV for the two children only after school for an hour or so. They really don’t need it x

So why don’t you offer some ideas and support?

sleepandcoffee · 04/12/2025 18:15

I had a 2 year old in peak covid - parks were shut , one walk a day , no clubs , nursery or visitors therefore he had endless cebeebies !
Hes now an extremely bright 7 year old so it clearly didn’t cause him any real harm . As long as you getting outside everyday , going on some walks , playgroups/ clubs then I wouldn’t stress.
I would suggest keeping to educational stuff like number blocks and also rotate your toys so they're more interesting , Setting up a different toy before you go bed really helps too .

Weeken · 04/12/2025 18:13

Nothing's ever going to hold her attention if you keep ruining her attention span.

snoopythebeagle · 04/12/2025 18:11

Mikart · 04/12/2025 17:47

It really is

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Why, if I'm not actually watching it? It's just there as noise.

Btowngirl · 04/12/2025 18:07

Yeah I guess if your older DC was the same! DD1 was pretty good at focussing on an activity that age, not anything wild like making a craft start to finish but she could definitely focus. They’re all different though I suppose.

What programmes are going on? Is it worth trying lower stimulation so she isn’t captivated by it? Ours watch a bit of Julia Donaldson and will go off & play then come back etc so it’s not overstimulating

Original poster
wetwinter · 04/12/2025 18:02

@dijonketchup she isn’t, in any meaningful sense. She throws puzzle pieces around 🤦🏼‍♀️ and while she will colour a bit it doesn’t sustain her interest for longer than a few minutes. My older child was exactly the same and is now enjoying a range of crafts and puzzles and loves the Tonie box so I do think it is just an age thing. DD2 is 2 years 4 and a half months to be very precise, the other interests will come.

@Btowngirl shes only been watching this amount for maybe a couple of weeks. If anything I’d probably say she’s at home a bit too much; we could do with being out in the world a bit more, but it’s hard with the nap situation and needing to be back for the school run and so on.

OP posts:
Mikart · 04/12/2025 17:47

snoopythebeagle · 04/12/2025 17:36

Why?!

I have the TV on whenever I'm home and awake - it's just background noise - no different to the radio, really.

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It really is

Btowngirl · 04/12/2025 17:39

Op, we go through phases of it creeping up too. I would probably say though, if those activities don’t hold her attention for long it’s a sign she is watching too much at the moment. You’ll need to interact with her during the activities initially to encourage independent focus and play. Get some stuff on her Christmas list to keep her entertained. At that age DD loved those felt velcro books, we have a good felt tree on the wall at the moment that they can ‘decorate’. Little world stuff, toot toot cars, sorting sea creatures into coloured bowls etc.

dijonketchup · 04/12/2025 17:36

wetwinter · 04/12/2025 17:22

She has one thank you. It’s good for car journeys but she doesn’t really sit and listen to it yet; she takes the cards in and out. It’s a great device but like the Tonie box, definitely something toddlers grow into.

I think two can be a very tricky age with things like this; they aren’t old enough for things like crafts and puzzles but they also aren’t just content to sit back in a pushchair and enjoy their surroundings any more. Three is a bit easier although most definitely comes with it’s own challenges!

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Sounds like she is absolutely old enough for puzzles and crafts, and definitely too old for a pushchair.

All children are different etc, and mine are watching tv right now. But it’s so true that the more you do, the more you do - be it TV or simple activities. How do they learn to like puzzles and crafts? By doing them…