To stop giving myself a hard time about the amount of TV my toddler is watching?

I get that it's added up to a lot on the day but using TV in place of a nap is a good tool in my opinion. They still need to chill out at that time, I used TV in place of a nap when my DS dropped his too. If you need to get stuff done I think that's fine. If you have the time, snuggle and read some books instead but I know that's now always practical.

As somebody said cutting meals with the TV is a good time to trim the time down

I think that if you allow them so much tv, you should know what they're watching. I put on a bbc cartoon about dinosaurs (angry dinosaurs?) And realised it was totally inappropriate for my granddaughter, and this was on iplayer.
She was glued to it, but very happy when I said I didn't like it and turned it off.
And yes. YABU

So you know she’s watching too much TV but when everyone confirms that then they are being spiteful?
What did you want … everyone to tell you it’s fine so you can just keep sticking her in front of the TV?? Another one who asks for out doesn’t like the answers 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Why ask?!?!

Buy a cd player and put simple story CDs on. Or music CDs nursery rhymes, Disney musical soundtracks. It works wonderfully well. There are compilation Disney albums. You can also set up bricks and or simple play set /dollies the night before so when she comes down she can play, with the soundtrack in the background.
I completely understand how you feel at 6am but music helps A LOT and it isn't draining like TV.
The lost nap, again quiet time can be music in the background, soothing stuff lullabies soporific stories. I think they need a mental rest at that age and to feel you aren't giving attention as well, to tune out. Soundtrack of "in the night garden" alone sends me to sleep but Mozart sonatas are good too! You can use your phone to set up a soundtrack too.

There’s a simple solution; move her quiet time to 4pm when your older child wants to watch TV. They watch it together. This does mean that you need to play with your child inside or outside after lunch. It’s exhausting not having a break but you’ll get through it.

How desperate are you? 😂

My eldest is an adult and a vaccination scientist so I'll let them know to be on the lookout. Could be any day now...

Some developmental issues don't manifest till adulthood.

Google AI overview:

Kids eating in front of screens leads to distracted, mindless eating, increasing obesity risk by ignoring fullness cues, promoting poor food choices (sugary/fatty foods), harming digestion by reducing chewing, and hindering learning social/sensory aspects of food, creating lifelong unhealthy habits. Experts recommend screen-free meals for better self-regulation, improved diet quality, and family connection, suggesting replacing screens with face-to-face interaction to develop healthy eating behaviors.

Pizza in front of the tv on a Saturday night isn’t a problem, but I wouldn’t do it daily.

You're fine OP. The TV is on pretty much all the time in our house, has been since they were tiny. All mine are A-OK, no emotional slugs or poor development over here.

I guarantee you most of those piously harping on about TV will be giving their kids smartphones at 10. Don't worry about it.

Why?
One of our family treats was a meal in front of a favourite TV programme.
Different families do things differently ... their own way ....

At the very least, eat lunch with her away from the TV

Balance is all op !!
Just keep doing the other things add some more short creative bursts in ...

My DD watched too much but we did tons of other stuff way more than others around me and she's got amazing a levels the highest you can get etc.

Like all things that become obsessive ways to beat parents with this is the latest fad! It sounds like you are doing lots of other nice stimulating things with your child outside of this time.

In my family in the 80s we grew up watching at least this much TV -lots of VHS on repeat and yet we’re all now high functioning professionals. My three children were frequently babysat by the TV whilst we coped with busy lives and they’re all doing A levels and about to head off to uni.

Too much screen time when it correlates with neglect is associated with poor outcomes for children but of itself is not going to do harm to your child.

I used to be a social worker. Whenever I was beating myself up over my own parenting I would think about the really bad parenting I saw and get things into proportion.
I am sure your child is loved and that, like all of us, you are giving parenting your best shot. It does not always meet Mumsnet ideals, nor the consumer driven media strictures... but love is the most important thing.
You need to make your own judgements as you know your child best.
I once remember locking my children in the (entirely child proof) garden for a while as I felt my sanity was beginning to slip! I am sure Mumsnet would have disapproved!

Exactly. Posting on here is a great way to make yourself feel absolutely shit about the most mundane, everyday parenting events.

Lesson 1000000 on why never to ask MN an AIBU about your own parenting 😂 This forum has done a lot to stress me out and make me feel shit over the years. You're fine OP, don't stress.
May I just note, I was brought up in a home with no TV, and didn't have any screen time until my parents caved and bought a PC when I was around 10. I am an addict and have struggled a lot in life, despite zero tv. Go figure

According to who, you? A stranger on the internet?

Her feelings are relatively accurate, though. She isn’t anxious over something that isn’t an issue. Her DD isn’t getting the sort of input she ought to be.

I don't think screens are inherently bad themselves, I think it's about what children are missing if they're on screens all day. So if children are not looking up and chatting at communal eating times, if they're not talking to adults, if they're not engaging in a wide variety of play, if they're not socialising with friends, if they're not being read to, if they're not going outside, if they're not sleeping enough all because they're stuck with a screen, that is going to damage their development (over a long period).

How much of all the above is your toddler getting?

Yes, I know what’s she’s asking and my thoughts are that she should stop stressing.

Social media and forums like this are excellent at making people feel totally shit about themselves - that’s why she feels guilty, not because she’s necessarily doing something wrong.

I’m sure she will grow up 100% fine, she is in a loving, stable home with lots of activities and interaction.

The only thing that I would be strict on is no screens when eating lunch. But I am a bit obsessive about building good food habits from an early age.

Don't beat yourself up. We do what we have to do. I assume she is watching appropriate stuff.
It is worth remembering that joining you in the housework is play to her. Sort the washing, do some sweeping, polish and dust, cook, count the carrots .... the world is her playground and toys need not be the focus of her play.
She will have a short attention span ... that is normal.
So ... bursts of sharing what you are doing, bursts of TV, bursts of playing with toys, periods outside, going shopping.
Engaging her when she is watching TV ... sit with her and talk about what is happening.
Rather than have TV as always something she watches while you get on with other things it can be a joint activity as well.
There will be times when plonking her in front of TV while you do something else is just fine ... we've all done it and it is not inherently a bad thing. But please remember that she is not just there to be entertained while you do other stuff ... that stuff could be hers too!

Don’t fret it. I’m quite relaxed about this sort of thing. Sometimes we all just need to get through the day in whatever way we can. That includes you! Years of accumulative sleep deprivation is a killer. There is nothing wrong in sticking CBeebies on at 6am for a gentle start whilst you have coffee, wake up and sort everyone out. neither is there anything wrong with breaking up the day with bursts of tv. Just turn it off when you’re ready to do something else. Also, she’s 2.5. Colouring and reading are great but they’re not going to hold her attention for long.That’s normal at that age. Can she access her toys and activities independently? Mine loved playdoh, painting and Duplo at the age, or having a bath with bath toys, helping with the hoovering etc. we’d also go out every day for a quick job, like post a letter/get a pint of milk. Even if we didn’t really need to. Breaks the day up and potential for a nap in the pushchair or car.

Sounds like you’re doing a great job. Some days it’s easier to get out and about than others, for whatever reason. If she’s able to manage the tv going off without becoming dysregulated then I’d say it’s not a problem. Before long she’ll be at nursery/school and a new phase will begin with a new problem to overcome!!

Way to much tv why is she not playing with a basket of toys or something..our twins are 2 and similar to you they wake around 6:30 so yes I scoop them up so they don't wake all the other kids and will pop cartoons on while house warms up, I wake up but once everyone starts getting up around 8-8:30 that's the tv off for the day. They will play with there basket of toys for ages and love there big bricks, will wrap them up and they go outside for a while twice a day sometimes more, they don't like colouring books but love love sticker books and can spend a good 2 hours or more doing stickers..after tea they watch cbeebies for half an hour it's classed as a treat if they behave they get to watch it and then baths supper and bed..oh and ours stopped day naps a while ago but sleep all night so it doesn't bother me

If you turn it into forbidden fruit you will end up with a problem on your hands.

The research points to moderation - small and gross motor activities, social activities, reading, art, music, etc and TV as part of a balanced diet of stimulation for toddlers. It also recommends watching TV with the child, chatting about what they're watching.

Quite honestly, it's a counsel of perfection, and as such, yet another rod for mothers to beat themselves - and each other - with.

There are a lot more factors at play than just time spent watching a screen. Is the main caregiver attentive and does he or she chat and sing with the child for hours every day? Is the child well cared for in the physical sense? Does the child have a predictable routine? Does the caregiver read to the child?