OMG. I need to have a rant about teenagers at school

I think everyone is just so bloody tired at this time of year. Adults and children alike. This term seems to drag on forever, I keep checking my calendar and being amazed at how many weeks there is left to go. Not to mention the eleventy-billion December activities we are forced to participate in or volunteer for. And I'm not even a term time worker. Cut them- and yourself- a bit of slack.

I would say dd3's piano teacher is a saint dealing with her lack of planning, practising etc. She has adhd and it's a struggle but she loves music.

I'm working class from Liverpool and I went to piano lessons as did my dm when she was a girl. My dc all took music lessons with various degrees of success and we are on universal credit and I work in a warehouse. Dd3 did her grade 8 piano yesterday and ds has grade 7 piano and grade 6 violin (covid affected or he would have gone higher).

I’m not sure when it ends. I have a friend who is a university lecturer and her students would drive me mad. I wouldn’t be half as tolerant with them as she seems to be.

I think the last sentence here is key.

Yes it’s a strange system and no mistake!

My daughter’s violin teacher (when she hadn’t practised) said to me that she was just the same as a teen, and her mother had insisted she keep up the lessons even so. That she came out of the teen fug and rediscovered her love of it. So there’s that perspective too.

Learned helplessness from parents who run around doing everything for them.

I’m blaming the full moon !!!
kids at school were wild today!

It’s a full moon night tonight … behaviour always dips at those times ! Hope you made it through the rest of the day.

I think the whole system of doing grades and seeing music as another thing which can be tested, competed over, punished for, etc is part of the problem.

Chamber music, the joy of being able to do something that wasn't possible a few months ago, performing in a joyful way, the intimate friendships that you build playing music together or taking lessons 121: these are the reasons I liked to play. These are not easy to create in music lessons at school.

OP, I am so glad you had one student to redeem the day! You sound like a caring and sensitive teacher- remember you might be the only adult who takes a personal interest in that child's work and has an ongoing project with that child; it can be very important.

It is hard when you feel like your work consists of cajoling the child to want to learn, rather than the challenge of helping an interested student learn, which is what teachers want to be doing!

Just to put another point of view….I dutifully took music lessons from ages 5 to 18, on violin, oboe, piano and recorder. Two grade 8s and two grade 5s. I practised because my mum made me, and did all the grades and scales/ studies etc because that’s what the teachers wanted and set me doing. I was plainly never going to be a professional musician but as soon as I left school I stopped it all, altogether and have pretty much never played since (over twenty years now). I don’t remember any music teachers ever asking me what kind of music I liked, or asking me what I wanted out of playing music. I would have loved to learn a small repertoire of music I love (folk songs in my case!), well enough that I could play them perfectly and off by heart. I would have loved to play more chamber music.

The music I was set always seemed to be a bit too hard, and as soon as I got anywhere near playing it well enough for it to feel easy and pleasant, we’d stop and move onto the next piece. So once again I was playing music that was a bit too hard and a bit of a struggle. Quite often bits of music I didn’t even like much. I understand the concept of challenge but what I think I needed was a chance to play for sheer enjoyment and for the joy of mastery sometimes, rather than always being given a new hill to climb up. Or a piece I learnt because I loved that particular piece, so the effort was worth it.

I look back and think what a waste of time and money it all was, and what a wasted opportunity. I love music and with a different approach from teachers I might have developed a playing habit that endured because it was enjoyable rather than something I couldn’t wait to stop because it was always a struggle and always something I was guilted into doing.

But OP is allowed to speak to them about time management, as OP has done.

All adults that have contact with children and young people in educational roles are part of the network that they should learn life skills from.

A music lessons is a music lesson but it is also a lesson in understanding what is expected of them and it is a dual relationship, teacher and pupil, they have to put a lot in also. Hence OPs original rant!

As I tell my DGD, she will not be a child forever and one day she will have to go out into the big world. She will have pull on all of her life skills then.

Working class ? Hdoid have music lessons and still do today. Working class!!

Given that 121 music lessons are extra-curricular and voluntary, it's not the OP's place to 'punish' them for being a bit crap, really.

As said upthread, it's organisational skills that are often lacking.
Though I'm not sure how you instill these.

Mine didn't

To be fair I sing in a choir and play a couple of instruments and this time of year is fucking brutal. So much to practice for so much to do and I’m struggling to keep up and I’m not a teen.

How do you deal with punishment - detention, call to parents, remove them from any concerts. No point letting them get away with it - they’ll never improve.

Maybe where and when you grew up, but not in my circles

It must be very frustrating. This is another reason why I would struggle to be a teacher.

Dear all, the verb is ‘practise’. I just needed to say that, as otherwise this thread will be torture for me and any other petty pedants out there ;-)

That depends entirely on class. None of the working class children I grew up with had music lessons...and I don't think many do today.

The only thing likely to have changed is where PP sits on that scale.

"No time to practice"? Make the lesson about how to practice effectively, taking apart the most difficult passage in their pieces...
"Mum didn't pack my music"? IMSLP to the rescue if applicable, otherwise: yay, a lesson completely devoted to scales and tone production! Or improvisation, or sight-reading...
"What note does F major start on?" Deadpan: G-double-flat, of course...

...but I hear you! It's hard not to take it personally at times when students don't seem to make any effort.