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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be put off a nursery if it employed a man?

156 replies

Eaglesfortea · 04/12/2025 11:45

I’d like to think I’m open minded and not sexist, but I would be put off… I have no issue with male primary school teachers or sports club leaders, but I wouldn’t want an unrelated man changing DD’s nappy.

YABU - men working in nurseries wouldn’t bother me at all
YANBU - I’d be put off too

OP posts:
TheNightingalesStarling · 04/12/2025 11:58

What if they starting employing a man after you started?

I'd expect any nursery to have safeguarding procedures to ensure that abuse cannot happen, by make or female staff.

Parker231 · 04/12/2025 11:57

No - there were male staff at DT’s nursery - they were excellent as was the male reception teacher DD had.

pteromum · 04/12/2025 11:56

I would be out off by lots of things.
lack of outside space, dirty, crowded indoor space. No defined areas. Lack of structure or community involvement.

I would look at
inspection reports
speak to existing parents
observe how staff interact with children
what the ratios are
what the toilet facilities and arrangements are.

here they want them toilet trained asap. (school nursery)

nappies are done in a room off the main room in clear view of main room.

But a male worker as a factor alone would not put me off.

Original poster
Eaglesfortea · 04/12/2025 11:54

Clefable · 04/12/2025 11:50

Yes. Logically I know that it’s unfair and that there are plenty of decent men who want to work in early years childcare for the right reasons. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending my pre-school child somewhere where a man will potentially be providing intimate care for them and my child is unable to express themselves properly verbally yet. I wish I could be more enlightened about it but that’s the way it is.

This is how I feel too. I can’t think of another example in which I’d discriminate in this way (I have happily had male doctors do smears and other gynae stuff, I have friends who are male teachers). A man providing intimate care of a non-verbal young child just doesn’t sit right with me.

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 04/12/2025 11:51

My son’s key worker was a man and my son loved him. I really liked him too, and didn’t have any issue with it.

Clefable · 04/12/2025 11:50

Yes. Logically I know that it’s unfair and that there are plenty of decent men who want to work in early years childcare for the right reasons. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending my pre-school child somewhere where a man will potentially be providing intimate care for them and my child is unable to express themselves properly verbally yet. I wish I could be more enlightened about it but that’s the way it is.