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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU - to say Christmas Dinner is not the meal to go wild on flavours?

113 replies

StacksOfSnacks · 03/12/2025 21:02

TLDR
My sister has just dropped that she is doing an ‘elevated’ Christmas dinner. Can I politely ask her to keep it simple?

Long Version
My sister and I share a love of food and cooking, we enjoy food and flavours from an array of cultures and will often do dinners composed of a spread of small plates - this is to say that I’m not typically unadventurous or fussy.

We are spending Christmas at hers this year, as we have previously, and were expecting her absolutely delicious yet conventional Christmas dinner. However, she has just excitedly shared what she plans to cook and I’ve been knocked for six. I have no doubts that she has the skills to execute it, and that each element will be delicious, but it seems a bit to busy to have all on one plate, I’m not sure they will mingle well together. And I just love a traditional Christmas dinner and think that it should be left to be simple and tasty, this just won’t feel like Christmas dinner to me. I will put her intended menu below.

I know she’s the host and should cook whatever she wants, and I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer, but I feel this has been dropped on me. I know she would reject me offering to bring a dish or two. We’ve each said many times that having people bring a dish to an occasion like Christmas is more hassle than it’s worth. It’s too late to make alternative plans for Christmas without it being a ‘thing’. I’m a bit gutted, can I say something? If so how?

  • Ballotine Porchetta Turkey
  • Nam Prik Pao Smoked Prime Rib
  • Rosemary Bonito Gravy
  • Fried Sprouts + Cheese Foam + Preserved Lemon + Pistachio Relish
  • Honey Gochujang Carrots
  • Truffle Cauliflower Cheese
  • Marmite Roasted Garlic and Parmesan Roasties
  • Parsnip and pecorino stuffing
  • Sticky Pomegranate Pigs in Blankets
  • Champagne Cranberry Sauce
  • Hazelnut and Nutmeg Bread Sauce
  • Yorkshire Puddings
OP posts:
Zempy · 04/12/2025 07:21

It’s too much. However, as the guest you have to remain supportive and silent on the menu choices. Sorry!

gannett · 04/12/2025 07:19
  • Truffle Cauliflower Cheese
  • Marmite Roasted Garlic and Parmesan Roasties
  • Parsnip and pecorino stuffing
  • Sticky Pomegranate Pigs in Blankets
  • Hazelnut and Nutmeg Bread Sauce

I would eat the hell out of those things, at least.

gannett · 04/12/2025 07:18

I'd be excited. But then I think the trad Xmas dinner is an utter bore and the exact thing to go wild trying to jazz up.

I can't imagine everything working... or working together... and I'm particularly sceptical about the sprouts/cheese/preserved lemon/pistachio combo (WHICH cheese will allegedly be involved in this? I pray that it's feta). But a lot of the twists do sound interesting, I assume a lot of the wacky headline ingredients will be more like backing notes (as usual) and honestly if someone's cooking for me, especially an entire banquet like that, the only thing I'm saying out loud is "thank you". If something falls flat just don't eat it!

Shedmistress · 04/12/2025 07:17

The ghost of my missing gallbladder yelped at me reading that. Yikes.

Zapx · 04/12/2025 07:11

100% DON’T say anything. She’s hosting - it’s up to her! Nothing to stop you cooking a fab Christmas dinner on any other day.

flutterby1 · 04/12/2025 04:28

shes listed every main element of the roast and put a twist on it. I’m an adventurous eater, everything sounds lovely … individually or maybe a few together, but not all heaped in together. I’d eat it if she’s likely to have already shopped and then do your own Xmas dinner for New Year’s Day so you don’t miss out. Although unfortunately it’s extra effort…. Or just communicate honestly and say that sounds yum but a traditional Xmas dinner is just lovely, I prefer it …

beencaughttrollin · 04/12/2025 04:16

Rosemary Bonito Gravy sounds disgusting. It's made with bonito FLAKES; just saying. Plus if you survive all this you definitely should get the Supah Chill Caesar and the Bourbon Pecan Pie!

Witchcraftandhokum · 04/12/2025 04:02

When did we start advocating for guests to be so rude? Stay at hone and make your own dinner, stop being so bloody ungrateful.

BootMaker · 04/12/2025 02:03

You jumped the shark with rosemary and bonito.

Only a lunatic would pair them.

BootMaker · 04/12/2025 02:00

No-one who actually likes food would cook that mess.

Don't be ridiculous.

Teanbiscuits33 · 04/12/2025 01:56

If she’s your sister, why can’t you just be honest with her? Just say, ‘’OMG, Jane, they sound delicious individually but they won’t go together as one meal and it sounds too chaotic. I prefer traditional Christmas dinner, can we stick to it?’’

If she questions it, you can suggest she either compromises and does some of the posh bits but not all of them, or she cooks her fancy foods for Boxing Day buffet style to enjoy them individually.

Seems easy enough to me. I’m sure she wouldn’t want her guests not to enjoy their food!

shesaysshestiredoflifeshemustbetiredofsomething · 04/12/2025 01:22

It sounds fantastic and I'd be excited to be served that

Okiedokie123 · 04/12/2025 00:51

Yabu. If she can be bothered to do all that, that’s her choice as host.
You could do your preferred option eg for New Years Eve/Day.
Plus it’s one meal on one day. Be thankful you’ve got something planned! Better than nowt.

Eenameenadeeka · 04/12/2025 00:47

There's a lot going on there for sure, and I wouldn't cook it personally, but she's the host and you are a guest so id never complain. If this is a big issue to you then just be grateful that you don't have bigger things to worry about

greatvisuals · 03/12/2025 23:54

It sounds very rich and could be quite sickly all at once.

SouthLondonMum22 · 03/12/2025 23:43

I wouldn't say anything at all.

Just do your simple roast on boxing day.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 03/12/2025 23:39

I would go with an open heart and just try everything… it sounds like she’s putting a lot of work into the dinner and it will be an adventure if nothing else! You can always have a simple roast on Boxing Day at home.

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/12/2025 23:37

Honestly, if someone is enthusiastic and good enough to cook for me, I will embrace graciously.

Bikergran · 03/12/2025 23:35

Cheese foam? Surely foam is rather passé now?

Seriously, sounds ridiculous and I'm with you, traditional done well is what we're having.

GameOfJones · 03/12/2025 21:52

I agree with you that individually it sounds delicious but all at once it doesn't go together. But she is hosting and is being kind enough to feed you so I really don't think you can say anything. I would just make your own traditional Christmas Dinner on another day.

Duckishness · 03/12/2025 21:50

If this person was on masterchef, they’d be the try-too-hard weird flavour combos that don’t work and it’s a vanity meal person.

talk me through both truffles and gochuchang on the same plate, let alone with preserved lemons and cheese foam too.

It’s a taste test not skills test.

Volumeindrive · 03/12/2025 21:49

Eat and be grateful, choose a selection I’m sure they’ll be plenty to choose from .

Original poster
StacksOfSnacks · 03/12/2025 21:46

Ilovemyshed · 03/12/2025 21:44

Is this an advert Joshua?

She is a Joshua Weissman fan. I think a good amount of the recipes are his or Ottolenghis. TBH I've gone right off Joshua recently. His video quality is poor, the content less interesting, and I'm aware of some unethical practices. But that's a whole other subject.

OP posts:
Pavementworrier · 03/12/2025 21:45

This is exactly why Christmas is so Godawful

Eat the food she's making ffs

Ilovemyshed · 03/12/2025 21:44

Is this an advert Joshua?

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