For some context: SIL is my DH’s brothers girlfriend. She has another child from a previous relationship and also had another baby with DH brother 3 months after I had my first earlier this year.
Theres two situations I wanted to talk about.
First - SIL decided that her baby doesn’t need a cot even though she’s tiny and underweight due to being a premie so she chucked the cot away, bought her a toddler bed and just added the mesh protecters either side. She sent us a photo of baby in the bed with a pillow, quilt, fleece blanket tucked as a bottom sheet and the bed surrounded by teddies.
I mentioned (very kindly) that she shouldn’t have a quilt and pillow due to babies being able to suffocate, especially the size she is. I mentioned how I use a sleeping bag for DS which is what’s recommended.
She told me that it doesn’t matter because her son had the same and he didn’t suffocate… he mostly slept with her because he is non verbal autistic so needed more soothing etc.
Another time I mentioned that my DS is at the age where he’s climbing, pulling himself up so we had to lower his cot to the lowest stage to stop him falling out and I just mentioned to watch out for this stage because those mesh barriers won’t stand a chance.
Another situation is when she sent a photo of her son and baby in the car but the babies car seat was facing forward, she was wearing a puffy coat and the strap was mid way down her arm, not shoulder.
Again, very kindly just mentioned how she should research about the car seat as it’s recommended and a law for all babies under 15 months to rear face as well as they shouldn’t wear a coat due to potential accidents and a blanket will be fine.
She basically went off on one about how I think I’m perfect and my DS is so perfect etc which isn’t the case, I’m just stating actual facts? If anything I’m trying to help her because it’s just standard practice. I don’t think I’m a better person/parent at all! This is my first go at parenting and I’m just following the rules and just suggesting what may be a better choice for her.
Overall am I in the wrong for trying to help?