To be seriously concerned about sending DS to nursery given news today?

Are you concerned about about your baby being killed after that woman tied a baby to a bean bag and they died?

And the vast majority of them men. That's just the reality of it.

Not in any way comparable.

Last I looked, there were over 14,000 male sex offenders in UK prisons and only about 120 in women's prisons. Very few of those women acted alone (i.e. without a man being involved) or were convicted of the most serious crimes.

Abuse at nurseries isn't very common. However men, as a group, are a risk to women and children. Women are not much of a risk.

OP if it worries you, how about a childminder?

My children attended a nursery which was very open. Even the closed rooms had glass windows into the rooms. Everything was seen, the toilets for the children had no door just little child sized cubicles. If you can find a nursery like that I think it’s very reassuring.

Also low turn over of staff and lots of them around always working in teams.

OP have a look at a few nurseries to get a feel. Also maybe look at ones attached to schools as some take younger ones. When my DC was at nursery, I also did a couple of random pick ups with the excuse that I finished work early ect and found my DC happy playing and interacting nicely with the staff so felt more reassured. We were so sad when it was time to leave the nursery for school.

Don't be put off by the news today as there are some lovely nurseries out there which will be a good fit for your DS.

DBS checks may simply mean that they have not been caught yet.

Anyone can go to a childminders house - it’s far riskier.

Everything is scary.

I dropped my kids to a music group the same day as those 3 little angels were murdered in Stockport.

I know a childminder whose hubby abused the kids.....

We have to make decisions hoping that childcare settings have complied with risk assessments. It never ends.

But there are bad people in all settings. Teachers, doctors, nurses, coaches, music tutors....

Wasn't luck at all. My husband worked a minimum wage job. We went without. I didn't claim benefits as didn't know I could. It was a sacrifice I chose to make. We all make decisions and I would make it all over again if I had to.

"I know it is horrifying but the reason cases like this make the news is because it is rare."

I agree with this. It is a horrific case but you have to think about all the nurseries in the UK and all the children that attend every day. And balance it with the positives that nursery brings and the fact that the majority of CSA is by a family member. Nursery feels less safe right now because of this mans horrific actions, it doesn't mean it is less safe than the alternatives.

I know I'll get slated for this but I put my son at nursery at14 months and in hindsight I wish I had not. I had a scholarship for a professional training course so an excellent opp, and frankly found full-time mothering a thankless and challenging job, so put my son in with his sister (then 4 and was at nursery from 2.5 years). My son was too little to make himself understood, was shy and there wasn't the level of attention he needed. This was an Ofsted 'Outstanding' private nursery. A staff member discreetly informed me that for months my son has been pushed around by an older boy, has cried and screamed and been ignored. I'm convinced this has led to many of the social issues he has today. My daughter was able to speak, confidently move and knew enough to articulate wheres my son was a defenceless baby who suffered. Id give anything to go back and change things, but it's too late.

If you want to reduce the chance of your child being abused in a nursery setting by at least 90% - make sure they don’t employ men.

The news is horrible and it does seem he choose a role to get as close to children. The nursery seems to have failed in safeguarding, process and checks in place.

Both my girls went to nursery, I remember how hard finding the right one. Going into some and literally walking straight back out again! I had to loose a months salary to align to a start date of nursery that we preferred.

challenge and ask the questions, what are the safe guarding they follow , if something doesn’t feel right or look right walk away. Keep looking to what works for you, and that can be SAHP or shared nanny, nursery or childminder.

You were very lucky to be in a financial position not to send your child to formal childcare and be able to have one salary meet your outgoings.
However for the millions of mothers around the country tonight who know they will be dropping their babies to childcare settings in the morning due to financial necessity to feed, clothes and house them comments like this are completely unhelpful.

There are very few men working in nurseries so this probably will never be an issue for you.

What has being a clinical psychologist got to do with your childcare choices? I’m sure everyone thinks hard about what is best for their family.

It's terrifying but there's not much you can do. I waited until my dcs were 2.5 until they started nursery and they were verbal and fully toilet trained - but these reports say the guy was in charge of 2-4 year olds so they were likely very verbal, being old enough to speak doesn't mean they will feel able to speak out.

It's always concerned me that in a lot of these cases the adult has passed enhanced dbs checks - all that means is that they have never been caught before. And the actual SA in this case might never have been caught if other behaviour hadn't been suspicious. It always makes me think that it may well not be that rare after all, because if he hadn't videoed it, it would never have been uncovered, and it's not far fetched to think that other abusers are getting away with it simply because they haven't left an evidence trail.

As others have said, there have been some high profile female abusers too, so I don't think a male staff member should be a particular concern. The fact is you can never know for sure. We don't live far from that nursery and although I don't know anyone who sent their dcs to that one, the chain is popular and I've heard good feedback about other branches. I am just glad my dcs are older and in school now.

Op these cases are very rare. And in a nursery with many eyes and ears any abuse or neglect would hopefully be noticed and stopped.

People always seem to think childminders are better but I feel thats putting all your trust in one basket. Same with nannies.

I’ve worked in nurseries for years, as a chef, and I have always been impressed with the devotion of the staff. You are always going to get a few bad apples but the majority of nursery staff are fantastic. It’s tricky but there are certain people you have to trust in life.

Yep. Children are far more likely to be abused by a step parent than any other adult. Followed by an extended family member.

This is very true.
I later found out that the childminders 14 year old son was occasionally changing my daughters nappy and being left in charge of her and another child. I would have equally had an issue with it being a 14 year old daughter.

Honestly I don’t really understand what is different now to yesterday. This is not the first nursery worker convicted of this, and that’s not mentioning the girl who was strapped to beanbag (by a woman) and died a couple of years ago.
I’m not anti nursery - both my children went to one.

But people have such unbelievably bad risk perception. Children are far more likely to be abused by a family member but no one tears their hair out over leaving a child with their grandparent. And you don’t even know if there are any men at your son’s nursery.

I understand where you are coming from. And commercial, communal childcare would never be my first choice. It’s such a difficult decision. Of course, 99.99 times out of 100, it’s fine and and the babies are well treated. But just one traumatic incident for a young child can have a lasting impact, and they cannot speak up.

I understand that families have different factors to consider when making choices about childcare, cost being a huge one. And not everyone lives close to family.

As a clinical psychologist. I thought really hard about childcare choices. In the end, we opted for grandparents a day a week and a nanny, who had worked for a friend for years for two days a week. I worked part time until my youngest turned eight. Financially and professionally a nightmare, but the best choice for them.

I understand why you are freaked out by the news, but these are very rare cases and need to be viewed as such. Your child will probably love going to nursery so try and find one where you feel equally comfortable.

I avoided sending my kids to large chain nurseries with big teams of staff, and I admit I would also have avoided any nursery with male staff. I sent them to a small homely nursery in a large/converted house with a small team that I knew and trusted. I also didn’t send them until they were two. I was fortunate to have that option, I realise not everyone does.

I considered a childminder but I wouldn’t have been happy not knowing who is coming and going during the day, or with the presence of husbands/other family members or friends that I may not be aware of. Nurseries have front door security, with other staff and safety and security procedures, cameras. I know there are fantastic childminders out there, this was just my personal preference. Trust your gut and go with whatever arrangement you are most comfortable with.