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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask whether to change my surname after divorce

52 replies

hayleyhales · 03/12/2025 19:14

Currently in the process of divorcing STBXH after discovering he cheated on me throughout my maternity leave. Now I am out, I have realised he has been controlling for quite some time, and it’s very much for the best that this has happened now and while DC is so young

Toying with the idea of changing my surname back. We were only married a few years but I want the same surname as DC, though I can’t tell you why that is. I really can’t decide what to do and it makes titles awkward, I don’t like the idea of Ms. I don’t think of him when I think of the surname but equally want to be able to move forward with my life and identity separately to him. Any thoughts?

YABU - change back to maiden name 100%
YANBU - keep married name

OP posts:
WombTangClan · 03/12/2025 19:21

Ive just changed mine back 3 years after leaving and it's actually felt like closing the chapter properly to me.

Seeingadistance · 03/12/2025 19:19

I didn’t change mine back - too much hassle, was my name by then, professional reasons, and my own name was very common - to the point that through school and almost everywhere I’ve lived there’s been someone else with the same name, which can be a nuisance.

Having same name as my DC wasn’t a consideration though.

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