Would you continue to see him if you found this out?

No.

‘Met her at an over 18s event’ is a pathetic excuse.

Like many PPs i went to pubs and clubs underage in the late 90s. The bouncers who let us knew full well we were underage. They let us in precisely because the adult men who went liked having plenty of young girls there. Everyone knew these places were full of kids!

It is still statutory rape. He might have used as his defence post 2003 that he believed her to be 16 years of age or over but, well, to state the obvious, she wasn’t. What steps did it take to assure himself that she was 16 or over? An 16yo attending an 18+ event is not entirely unprecedented or surprising so hardly a reasonable defence (in my mind).

Honestly can’t think of any good reason to date a rapist who is on the sex offenders register. Hi mum please meet my boyfriend, he raped a girl once. Oh hi sis! Let me introduce my sex offender boyfriend to your children! Do you have a job? Do you have/want children. If this decision isn’t obvious well JFC, I don’t know anymore…

Edited for clarity

Oh, Oh, let me guess...

She maliciously accused him because when he found out her age he didn't want a relationship with her so she reported him for revenge.... am I close?

Poor poor man, such a victim of timing and circumstance 🙄

So he had lots of excuses no surprise there

I think you know op he is lying

this will always play on your mind

You said in your original post that he was early 20's - NO - he was 25!!
Sounds like you're already making excuses for him.
He was 10 years older than her.
Disgusting excuse for a human being.
You wouldn't see me for dust I'd be out of there so quickly.

You CAN change your vote - just click on the other box

Its not the age of the girl you should be worried about. Its the conviction.

As others have pointed out a conviction for sexual assault is incredibly hard to get.

The question should be would I continue to date a convicted sex offender. And no I would not

Absolutely not

I find it really sad that any women would believe his lie

This also went through my head. He is clearly lying somewhere. If she just saw it as a consensual relationship with an older man, like hell would she support prosecution.

They would never perform due diligence because it may prevent them getting their dicks wet.

And I said this as somebody who was tall for my age so mistaken for 21 regularly at 14….till you spoke to me.

I don’t trust the “she looked a lot older” crew.

You spend 2 seconds talking to a 15 year old and you know they’re 15. It would give me the ick and I would be off.

(And I don’t want to hear “when I was under sex I had sex with was molested by older men”. So?)

Did you misread the OP? The question was would you date a convicted rapist who is on the sex offenders register. What are people struggling with here?

Nope. Something very creepy about a man in his 20s who either can’t get women his own age to date him, or enjoys the power imbalance of dating someone so very young.

Both options are bleak.

Oh for goodness sake, seriously. Of course I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole.

Yes. Most of my friends had sex when they were under 16, with men a bit older.

Nope

No.

However the information given is very scant. How long ago, circumstances etc, how you found out, how he was found out, does story check out, remorse etc etc.

But first and main instinct - no.

I don’t believe that for a second.

Not quite. Before 2003 prosecutions of older teenage/young adult males for sex with underage females were more common. From 2004 onwards, they prosecution focused more on cases where there were abusive dynamics, really big age gaps or same age defendant/complainant (which is odd but was what people were afraid of at the time).

A conviction is hard to get op so on that grounds I'd be throwing this one back. It's all a bit icky and the reality is you won't ever really know the truth so I wouldn't take the risk.

That would be a hell no.

We can all see the MN what-aboutery and as a teenager in the 90’s I know things were different.

So?

The point you have to start analysing the circumstances of if someone is a sex offender is already past a line in my book.

Agree with this. It was very common when I was younger, I am 43, times have changed (for the better) but I don’t necessarily think this makes him a pervert if you are a similar age as people just didn’t view things the same way then.