Would you continue to see him if you found this out?

A 25yo man having sex with a young teenage girl? Oh hell no. She's a child for god's sake. I'd throw this one back, OP

Even worse. Also not early 20s like she said then… she’s likely trying to convince herself it’s not as bad as it is. ‘Early 20s’ but means a full grown mid-20s adult man. SMH.

OP said he was 25..

No. There is a defence in court for those who have engaged in sexual activity with a child of 13-15years that argues that the defendant had reason to believe they were over 16. Clearly, as he was convicted, the court was not convinced that this was the case. Probably because 15 year olds are very clearly and obviously not adults and he was 20.

I agree and while I believe he might possibly have believed she was 17 or 18 at a push she didnt look 23 and and theres a reason a 25 year old man is pursuing a woman in her teens.

(And while i also believe a 15 year may look older, i dont think girls of the 90s looked as old at 15 as some of them are theyre convinced they did, im more convinced that if they said the right things regarding their age to some men, there were those who didnt care.

And I once was on a bus c. 2007 and remembering men about 25 saying to each other, "remember lads, if you dont ask her age its not illegal" horrifying to hear)

He’s bullshitting you.

So many women who are now in their 40s and 50s will tell you that between 15-17, we had boyfriends in their early 20s. I did. I was 15 and he was 21. It was seen as a badge of honour for us girls. It is seen very differently now but in the 80s and 90s, it was quite common.

So the thought of the police actually charging him for sex with a 15 year old, no violence and he thought she was over 16…no chance. Not in those days. He probably wouldn’t have been arrested but if he had, it would have gone NFA or a caution. A suspended sentence means he went to court. No way.

There is much, much more to this @Highlightnight

No, why would I won’t to?! He is vile person with little morals. I was groomed at a similar age and I’m still suffering with mental health issues.

Plus if a girl is made up to look older and at an 18+ event (which they were) it’s believable he thought she was 18+

Yes it was commonplace, but the point is he got a conviction. A girl walking in to a police station with clothes ripped and hanging from her in the 90’s/00’s would’ve been hard pushed to get a conviction let alone a random man holding his hands up to say he unwittingly had a one night stand with a 15 year old when he was in his 20’s. Someone had to have reported the actions of what took place, AND had enough evidence to say he was at fault regardless of whether it took place at an over 18’s event or a teenage disco. For you, why is it the behaviour of the child at 15 the issue rather than the man of 20 odd?

The age of consent plays no part here - he was convicted of a crime, if she or her family didn’t think it was a crime, it wouldn’t have been reported, let alone resulted in a conviction. And if it was a genuine ‘arbitrary’ mistake/lack of prior knowledge on the age of consent it wouldn’t have gotten as far as the steps of a courtroom , let alone resulted in a conviction?

I say this as someone married with two children 8 years my senior, together since I was 17. We always knew what age we were and whether it was something that should have been judged in a courtroom. You can appreciate his honesty, but is the honesty a result of genuine ‘oh I was wrongly convicted’ or ‘oh, you’re going to see my name in a news/courts search’. If it reached a courtroom, there was something wrong.

Honestly this was pretty commonplace behaviour in the 90s when I was that age. Girls would actively want an older boyfriend with a car etc. We were full of hormones and knew exactly what we were doing. My first serious boyfriend was 19, I was 15. He refused to have sex with me until my 16th birthday, but honestly at that stage him sticking his knob in me was just a formality, things had already got pretty steamy. Apart from in the eyes of the law, it wouldn’t have made the blindest bit of difference if we’d had sex a day, a week or a month before I turned 16. And I wouldn’t expect that our relationship is something that ever plays on his mind or makes him feel bad, nor does it me.

So yeah, depends on context. If similar to described above, no. The age of consent is arbitrary, and a social construct that varies across the world. If it was a vulnerable girl who he was grooming then yes.

Girls (and boys) acting older will happen until the end of time but being a SO because of taking advantage of a situation is the choice of a predator. Whether the prey is young enough to gain a conviction is just happenstance.

While I fully believe someone might not realise a girl was 15, I think this too- it just doesn’t add up that his story is true and resulted in a conviction.

This is rubbish. I regularly look at the match before or after our kids and have a discussion with other mums about what age group they are, and then when you actually meet them some kids definitely act old, and particularly girls when dressing up and going out.

I might possibly as I know someone who was in the same situation and he genuinely didn’t know. But I’d need to see court transcripts or some kind of evidence to double check he’s telling the truth. He could well be minimising it and the truth could be far worse.

wtf no

Not a chance in hell would I date a sex offender.

No. Absolutely not.

The child has to be under 13 for statutory rape.

He says oh.. I didnt know. But if it was a relationship he would know eventually.. if it was a one off and "consensual" how did he get caught? And considering, I mistook her for a person 16+, is a defence if the child is between 13 and 16 how did he end up with a custodial sentence if it was just like he told OP.

I find it wild that people are like well at 15 I had sex, and he said he didnt know she was 15, men didn't know when I was 15... its fine. Its not fine. Theres something off for him to have had a prison sentence.. id be interesting to know how long he had that suspended sentence for and if hes on the SOR

This, absolutely this. The apologists are out in force - all they’re short of saying is ‘she must’ve been asking for it’.

Despite any law being introduced if it was a truly consensual act then there wouldn’t have been any report of improper behaviour and therefore no conviction. He’s likely a creep who has been getting away with creep behaviour since because the recipients of the creepiness have been over the age of consent.

Even if it did happen at an over 18’s event, she obviously felt a need to report his behaviour so whatever age she was it doesn’t matter.

I would have also passed for 18 at the age of 13, but I knew if I was in a situation of my own making or whether I was being taken advantage of. The 15 year old must’ve felt she was being taken advantage of regardless of whether he was 16 or 26 at the time.

How many of those examples lead to a custodial sentence though...

Nope. This is a story as old as time. They are usually younger.

If it was a one off and she lied about her age and "consented".. how did this get found out, he get arrested, CPS decide to proceed and get a custodial sentence (even if its a suspended one)?

Baring in mind if you have evidence to support that he reasonably suspected she was at least 16 thats a defence. A defence hes given to OP but either the judge or jury found against...

The chances of a successful conviction if this went down the way hes told OP are teeny tiny

Well... he met her at an over 18s night and had sex with her.. when and how did he discover she was 15?

How did that lead to an arrest? If it was all "consentual" after a club?

If shes over 13, and he has evidence they met at an over 18s event he could use that as a defence.. but CPS proceeded and even with that info he was convicted?

And "oh well a new law in 2003 would make it ok now..." is like line 56 the perverts handbook of get out of jail free cards. Hes learnt that for his list of Excuses 101. This didnt happen because of a legal technicality, it happened because he had sex with a child. Something likely still on his record or he wouldnt have told you. Dont let him make excuses, quite frankly I think its excellent he got a conviction.

Ii think u need to ask questions. It’s interesting he has volunteered this information to you? It does make me wonder why because if it was so innocent you wouldn’t find out otherwise.

I had friends at school whom were Almost 16 and in relationships with 18+ year old lads. my friend who was due to turn 16 in the July had always planned to to lose her virginity on her 16th birthday (no idea why) however her parents booked a trip away so she arranged to see her boyfriend 2 weeks before (technically 15) to lose her virginity. Oh and she lied about her birthday to him