Husband’s attitude towards aging

Yes, I think what the OP really wants to ask now is whether he still finds her attractive, or as attractive, as he did.

It’s a difficult situation as it isn’t particularly sensible or fair to ask your partner a question like the OP did initially (unless you’re both very open about who you each find attractive), but in this case the answer was not what she expected and has revealed a potentially deeper issue that she naturally feels uneasy about.

No, I don't think so, even in the case of the ones who come across as very unlikeable in their books. He had the power, not them, he always had the upper hand. He could and did simply kick them out when they displeased him, having forbidden them to work while they lived with him and seriously curtailed their ability to form a life outside the mansion, and the "relationships" were not as purely transactional as you might expect (they had to go to him cap in hand for their weekly allowance, which he could always withdraw if they hadn't pleased him, and which wasn't as much as you might think; $1000 a week, but they were meant to spend it on clothes for going out with him and not save it; he'd keep an eye on what they bought to make sure they weren't socking it away). It might have been better if they had been, because at least then it would have been honest and probably less underhandedly controlling and coercive (there was other stuff too).

But you should read the memoirs if you're interested.

But he is getting old too! Unless he is disillusioned maybe he thinks no one looks as good anymore including himself. He isn’t particularly wrong but aging is natural. I wouldn’t ask the question! Some men are attracted to older women from a young age my dp is one of them including celebrities.

Stop having such ridiculous conversations. You know how he feels so you're always going to end up in a row!

Are men more shallow than women? Sure.

Pure stereotypes, no 18 year old is lusting after David Attenboroughor King Charles. And obviously Hugh Hefners girlfriends weren't attracted by his leathery old face, they were attracted to the fame and opportunities it would give them. They used him just like he used them

Except it's not a fantasy theory that men and women are generally stimulated in different ways. Men are more visually attracted to others, while women respond more strongly to auditory, touch, and emotional stimuli etc, This is backed by scientific data which is a more credible source than your opinion of it being a fantasy theory.

There is no positive outcome to the question “which of my friends do you fancy.”

I’m not sure that “none” is significantly worse than “Kate is soooo fit.”

You wouldn’t have been happy with the answer either way.

They obviously don't age better than women; put a random group of men aged X next to an equivalent group of women and it's not going to be a load of silver foxes against a load of hideous hags.

However, women tend not to be drawn by looks as much as men are (obviously they still matter but it's not as driving a force); they are more likely to be drawn to security (which can be financial but can also be worldliness or maturity), so men who can offer this might kid themselves that it's their sexy silveriness doing it. I read a few memoirs by Hugh Hefner's former girlfriends (yuck) and all of them said, one way or another, that it absolutely wasn't his physical 78 year old self that drew them as gorgeous 20 somethings. I hadn't realised there was anyone who thought it might have been, but even the women thought it needed saying.

Exactly

It wasn’t silly to ask at all. Now you know that he likes younger women, that’s a fact, he’s told you. The question is what do you do about it? Accept that lots of men do and that even when they’re fat and gross and old and have micro penis’ they still look at much younger women and judge a woman for aging? Or discard him for one of the unicorns men that don’t do this? At least he was honest 😂 mine would say things like ‘she’s far too young to look at in a sexual way.’ Whilst simultaneously following pages on social media called college girls etc. I think most men just hide that they feel this way and some wives choose to believe that and live in ignorant bliss.

To conclude I hate men.

I'm beginning to think this is a troll thread set up by men

Regrettably, they will be in with more than a chance in Third World countries, we see it daily in the UK (my neighbour) - an old fat and ugly man and a gorgeous girl, young enough to be his granddaughter, from Thailand or Romania. Mind you, things are improving on the equality front - I read a few articles about British grandmothers, who have found happiness with Egyptian, Moroccan, etc. young lads.

Yes I'm pretty sure that's the fantasy theory that men push, along with them aging better than women, which is pretty hilarious.

There may well be women the same age as him - or older - that he does find attractive. We don't know as he has only been asked about the OP's friendship group and Kelly Brook.

Most men I know are attracted to women their own age. Even the ones I know who were pretty chauvinistic in their youth (now in their 50's) find women of their own age attractive and still have the same 'celebrity crush' they had in their teens.

I think Timothee Chalamet and Jacob Elordi are both beautiful actors but beautiful rather than sexually attractive.

It would never occur to me to ask my husband which one of my friends he finds most attractive.

Unpopular opinion but doesn't research tell us that men are typically attracted to visuals whilst women respond to things they hear?

Looks typically fade with age but someone's charm, wit, humour etc tends to remain (if anything they sharpen with life experience).

So you could argue that the dominant characteristics that makes someone appealing to women are less likely to change over time, compared with the dominant characterists that makes someone appealing to men?

So is it really that shocking or disgusting here that a bloke here doesn't find Kelly Brook as attractive anymore? Whilst I'm sure women that were attracted to Lee Mack 20 year ago are probably more attracted to him now?

Just a thought.

Why are you asking immature questions and then berating him when he doesn’t answer how you’d like him to?

You remind me of a weird family member who loves baiting her long suffering dh into arguments.

My DH really fancies Carol Vordaman
I would be annoyed if he did not find any women over 40 sexually attractive when I myself am over 40.
But also, don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer.

Objectively can you not see that someone in their 20s is more conventionally attractive than someone in their 60s? Obviously there are exceptions but the rule of our society favours youthfulness looks.

why keep asking the question and getting offended at the answer. It makes you seem equally shallow and arguably more of a hypocrite

Exactly. I used to work at a club and the women were just the same. Hollywood etc have always promoted the idea of young, fertile looking people. Some say we're programmed to like people who look more fertile, but I do find it icky when a much older man is trying to get a young woman, or vice versa.
Even the ones who are older have often had a lot done to make them look younger. It seems sad that some people put their health at risk/spend money they don't have just to try and look 20.
I'm not saying younger is better, and some cultures value the wisdom of age, but even though I'm not old, I sometimes wish I had the energy of my teenage years!

'No one, Love - only have eyes for you'. Or 'ah, yeah, me and Sarah were planning on running away together next Tuesday. Hope you don't mind' or 'I've always had a thing for your mate Gareth'

If you genuinely can't see yourself or your partner having a little joke then yes I agree there are insecurities there.

If the first time upset her, she should know to steer clear of such inane questions

I really wouldn't want to be stuck in a marriage to a man who would find me progressively less attractive as the years went by

I'm not convinced that anything suggest OP's partner feels like this. There is a world of difference between an actual relationship and one's views on whether celebrities are attractive.

I've been married for over 20 years- I can look at my husband and see objectively that he has aged compared to an old photograph but I can also see the young man in the old man, and the old man in the young, and we have two decades of life together which make the odd wrinkle completely irrelevant. Physical attraction over the years is about much more than just looks, whereas fancying or not fancying celebrities you have never met is inevitably going to be more superficial.

This is your typical sort of conversation????! so you keep asking questions to which you know his likely response would be- but you ask away anyway and then get offended at the answer and have a go at him???!! Weird af. I mean, to ask which of your friends he finds attractive, is really weird. If he said a name, then you'd probably have a go at him because she didnt look like you/looked the exact opposite of you/ had a bigger bum or breasts or something. Looks like you are looking for an argument and are getting exactly what you wanted. Get a life and some self-confidence.

Asking my H which of my friends he fancies is not, and never would be a playful question. It smacks of a real insecurity that he does fancy one of her friends.
Similarly asking her H about celebrities he fancies signifies insecurity about how attractive he finds his own wife.

If these are your idea of a playful question then I think we must agree to differ.