Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

Our daughters tutor went up from £40 to £50 per hour. piss take but he is really good

If I'm broke I can feed 4 of us on 60 euro.

I would query the price as it is a big jump, so I would want to know the reasoning behind it. However, you cannot afford music lessons for your children if it only leaves you £45 a week for food! It’s madness.

The casual dropping of bombshells like
"Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5"
and
"(The teacher is a guy my husband used to work with, not sure if this could be why he just wants me to shut up and pay, to save his embarrassment?!)"
make me think that half of MN is just people making mischief!

Because how can this be true:
Pre flute-lesson raise, OP apparently fed 2 adults and 3 children on £7.57 per day. That's £1.51 per person.
Post flute-lesson raise, that figure dropped to £6.42 per day, or £1.28 per person.
That's some serious calorie deficit. Perhaps the parents have become so light-headed, they've lost their grip on reality.

Hmm OP doesn't say anywhere the £40 is cost per lesson. She does say "for the same amount of time". This could be a flute lessons through school. My daughter's one did cost around £40 per month. The cost going from £32 to £40 is still a huge increase in price.

Well you can't afford it if your entire budget is £85. You need to gain access to your own money.

Or if your husband is loaded then he's financially abusing you, yet he wants YOU to pay extra for the flute lessons? Or does he mean HE will pay extra?

She has double that but chooses to waste half of it on lessons for 1 child.

OP says that money is very tight - this is normal for many households and less than £100 for groceries is very common.

What isn’t normal is then blowing half of the budget on 1 lesson for 1 child.

Its not abusive or unreasonable to have a set budget for groceries.
She is obviously not good with money but what we don’t know is why she phrased it as he gives it to her.

It depends where OPs money is going and if it’s given directly to him or if she’s not earning anything so it all has to come out of 1 wage.

I definitely think there’s a lot more to this story.

Sorry he gives you how much to feed a family of 5?

Do you all just eat baked beans?!

Your DD cannot have these lessons.
You simply cannot afford it.

I actually think it’s shocking that you already spend £30 out of £85 of the budget on this.
How unfair on your other children.

Look on YouTube for free lessons.

I know it’s a shame if DD enjoys it but you have to be realistic. My DD would love horse riding lessons and musical instrument lessons etc but it’s just part of not being wealthy.

You are literally wasting on this and prioritising 1 child over the others which isn’t fair.

As a parent who pay for music lessons, I agree on all points.

This is capitalism, the guy can charge whatever. Also, flute lessons are nice, but a luxury, very much like driving lessons, riding lessons, etc.

You are not being unreasonable, but your absolute melt of a husband is!

I'm thinking it could be down to who is giving the lesson. I used to teach horse riding up to a certain level, but when pupils got beyond that level they would need to go to someone else who was higher qualified than me or who was working themselves at a higher level, and they would cost more because of the years of experience they were offering. Plus the fact my teaching was more a hobby side gig to my day job and for the higher level instructors it was their living.

I'll also point out that often people who offer a paid for service don't put their prices up maybe when they should. 25% may seem a large increase in one rise, but if they've been charging the lower rate for 5-6 years then suddenly it doesn't seem so big.

You also have a "rounding up" thing with costs especially for services. If you have a service that costs say £40 per session, then with 5% inflation you would be putting your price up £2. Then the next year £2.05, then the year after another £2.10 and so on. After 4 years the compounded interest means you would be paying over £48. But life is simpler if things go up by whole numbers, so they put it up by £5 after 3 years, then another £5 2 years later. Or £10 after 5 years - shock horror 25% increase, not thinking of the years it hasn't gone up.

Is your DH on minimum wage and you’re not working? £85 is not enough for a family of 5 so you couldn’t afford the lessons even at the lower rate.

That said £40 ph is peanuts.

Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

Husband gives you...

Tell us more about your financial arrangement. I don't think it's the flute teacher we need to be questioning.

To be honest, it sounds like he was on the cheaper side to begin with, so he’s increasing his prices to be in line with the competition. He’s likely also the victim of increasing overheads.

I am an English tutor and charge £50 per hour, I’m putting my prices up to £60 per hour in the new year in line with local market rates.

When I first read this message I didn’t fully take in the part about this being all the money your husband gives you to run an entire household on. For a week. Without further discussion, and yet he still is trying to say you should go ahead with these lessons.. that literally take food from the mouth of your children.
What does he spend the rest of “his money” on?
And do you realise how this sounds?
Controlling in an old fashioned “pin money” way and in an abusive sense and untrusting in that he doesn’t give you the opportunity to make bigger financial decisions and choices, which should be your right in a marriage. When I read it, that’s what I hear.

Why is your husband giving you 'pocket money' like a child. Earn your own money!

That aside, this is a steep increase.

Only a teenager who has no idea of the true cost of food could write such twaddle.

The flute teacher is not being unreasonable to increase the price.

You are not being unreasonable to wonder how the fuck you are going to afford it.

Your husband is being very, very unreasonable to only give you £85 a week and expect you to feed everyone on it plus pay for flute lessons. Unless money is really tight in your household - in which case, you are all being unreasonable for thinking that spending almost half of the free money a week on one family member is a good use of money unless she's the next Mozart in the making, which I just don't believe is the case.

The answer is to have a conversation with your husband about much it realistically costs to meet the needs of a family of 5.

Is there anyone you can share a lesson slot with? Ask the teacher!
Is she any good? Is this going to be a career? there are online lessons she can join instead.

Also a family of 5 and i couldn’t feed us all on that

Show your DH this thread and let him know he’s taking the P ! £45 to feed 5 people properly absolutely not doable

So you’ve been feeding 5 on £53 a week?

If you guys have so little money that this is all you can afford to feed your family then you need to cancel the lessons anyway. If you husband has a reasonable amount of money but keeps you on this insane budget - then he can pay for the lessons directly and give you access to the shared finances to pay for food for your family. If it’s the latter - he’s financially abusive to have restricted you to that extent.