Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

I would ask the flute teacher if he has another pupil she could share lessons with as you can’t afford it.

Regarding DH you need him to convert to being a baptist minister, seems they look after their property better!

You don't need to put in a request in the C of E - you're not 'posted', you can just apply for jobs. Obviously you can only apply for jobs you're qualified for (although saying that, you could apply and get lucky with less experience than they want)
It's only if he's in his curacy he'd need to stick it out and that's usually 2 or 3 years only.

I just double checked with the first vicar I saw and here the diocese pay council tax, buildings insurance and water rates plus any structural maintenance - the house will be decorated to a good standard when you move in but you have to maintain interior decoration, painting, carpets if needed etc. But with care shouldn't be needed unless you're in a house a long time.
I was wrong about broadband, apparently you're supposed to be able to claim that from your PCC (via expenses) but few do and the heating/electric proportion is claimed through your tax return.

Yes but they could use the savings to pay for music lessons and have a more reasonable food budget. It wouldn’t take long just living a normal family life for that £16k to become £6k. I think having a rental property is always going to rule you out of any state financial support. Unless of course there are already other savings….

Also could you be entitled to benefits given how low the salary is

I think you need to go through your finances with a fine tooth comb and maybe look at doing something either a WFH job or things like buying and selling on eBay Etsy etc to get a little more money coming in. Even making videos of your vegetarian lifestyle and how you feed a family of 5 for £50 per week. I can guarantee that would be a hugely popular channel. I am vegetarian and also quite frugal when it comes to my food budget but I have only 4 to feed and haven’t a clue how you get it so low

When you look at insurances each year do you shop around look at comparison sites and cashback sites to get the best deal.

I think that you think that you struggle with money so others will do the same. The cost of living is rising and whilst you are quite happy to live the way you do. Others, like the flute teacher won’t or can’t.

I am struggling to understand how you get through the monthly salary. There does seem to be a huge hole somewhere.

If this is the case, potentially DH has a bad deal with this particular posting.

Can he put in a request to move elsewhere - how long has he been in this post?

I live in Truro diocese, OP, since you asked 🙂 and I'm absolutely gobsmacked your diocese doesn't pay even your council tax. They are pisstaking.

Depending on the size of your congregation(s) could you find a parishioner to teach your daughter? We have a large music team at my church and a number of the players teach instruments to parishioner children (and adults!) For a nominal price.

I appreciate you may be across several parishes but it was an idea that occurred given your husband's job.

My dad is a vicar and my mum worked full time as a doctor throughout our childhood. It is possible if you want to do it.

Spending as much on a flute lesson as you do on the family food shop seems crazy.

Hmm maybe when they were first built. But if money isn’t spent to maintain them and the tenant can’t afford to they just then they will fall into disrepair. There was a vicars daughter in the year below me at junior school. They lived in a big detached house I was so jealous. I walked past it one weekend on the way to the playing fields and the roof had collapsed and part of the upstairs brickwork.

At school on Monday the vicar came in to speak to us in assembly about what had happened. There hadn’t been any bad weather to cause it. They were just getting ready for the day when they heard a loud crash and the plaster cracking. They had to evacuate with 3 children immediately the house was structurally unsafe. They had to stay with his parents until a new vicarious was built next to the old one. The old vicarious was left to rot.

The church closed a few years ago and both houses were demolished and had houses built on the land.

Have not read all replies to this comment so it may have been mentioned before now (apologies if so) but, if not……

One thing to consider - the 1 bed flat would be considered as a capital asset by UC because the OP and family do not live in it; and if it’s value is more than £16,000 they would have no entitlement to UC because, as soon as your capital or savings exceed £16,000, you can’t claim Uc.So, if the flat was worth £100,000 and the mortgage was less than £84,000 they exceed the capital threshold for claiming UC.

I know you’ve asked about the flute lesson increase, but you’re asking in the context of being absolutely brassic, so:

• did you agree to this career change and poverty income?
• Have you ever worked? Just trying to get a sense of what you might be qualified to do because you’ll almost certainly have to get some work when baby is a tiny bit older
• Are you willing to make any changes in the short term, such as selling the flat? I know you want the long term security but you’re skint now, and entitlement to UC will mean extra money and help with childcare so you can work
• How on earth are you going to cope when the other children are old enough for activities, school trips, eating more, etc?

A couple of my colleagues are vicars’ spouses, one man one woman. Both have well paid jobs of their own and the family just has to juggle, use childcare etc.

I'm also a private tutor, who tutors English and Maths.

When I want to charge more, I charge that to new clients. Old clients stay on their old rate for however long I have them (very rarely more than about 18 months).
But yeah, if money's that tight, it's private tuition that's the first thing to go, and tutors are very aware of that, and factor it in to their pricing strategy.

£85 to feed a family of 4? No way.

How long are the lessons? £40/hr is still beneath union rates...

As "God will provide", perhaps He could pay for the flute lessons?? I don't mean to be rude, but I do think it's shocking that a vicar is so poorly paid.

Years ago I knew a vicar who had two children at boarding school; not sure how they managed to afford that.

This is a great idea!

I’d only expect an increase up to £35. It sounds like the lessons are now too expensive for you to stretch to. Is their group lessons or online lessons that are cheaper?

Even if you did sell your flat, you probably wouldn’t get UC. Your capital would be too high and you would soon get through it and be left with nothing when your DH retires.

Maybe ask the person providing the lessons to justify the increase or at least explain why.

It might be a number of things. Costs going up, fees like insurance going up etc.

Maybe they have too much work.

OTOH it might just be that they have found out that this is what everyone else charges and have upped their price to be consistent with the marketplace.

Have you considered going somewhere else for the lessons ? That is the way the market works.

When you say "the teacher might not have increased the rates for years" why "might not" ? Surely you know.

Also curious! We eat about half veggie already but are clearly doing something wrong as we are nowhere near this budget and there are only 4 of us (though one teenager!)

Nothing seems to go up by inflation anymore. It always feels like price rises are 20-30%.

If you tell him you just cannot afford it, maybe he will waive the fee rises for your kids. Most people are aware that church folk have very low budgets for an awful lot of work. I am horrified by his salary.

In fact, I have found the relevant webpage for financial support for clergy and their families. Your needs might be covered by the 'Tuition fees for children' section:
https://www.clergysupport.org.uk/wellbeing-grants

I'm fascinated by budgets and menu plans. Any chance you could jot down a quick week's menu ?

I don’t know if this still applies but my husband was given financial support for his education (some years ago now) by a children of the clergy charity that might be worth investigating. Otherwise, I agree with others who’ve said that having a lesson every other week is reasonable.
I think £40 for music lessons is not outrageous (though I can see that the sudden increase is awkward). I’ve had teachers charge a lot more than that.

As a family you have given up an awful lot entirely for your husbands job enjoyment. Cold house, no extra curricular for the children, no house for retirement, moving constantly so kids can’t keep friends, very small food budget, no career for you.