Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

The thing that shocked me is that your DH gives you £ 85 a week to pay for music lessons AND feed 5 people! Are you magical? Is he mean? I can't imagine this is real. Bloody hell.

I don’t think flute lessons were affordable in the first place, even less so now 😮 You can’t feed 5 people on £45 a week!! We spend around £150 a week for two adults (although we eat out about once a week on average). Your child is taking more than half of your food budget, this isn’t sustainable.

Have you checked to see whether you and your family qualify for food bank services?

If this has already been mentioned in the thread, sorry to duplicate.

For a large family to spend all of their low joint disposable income down to the last penny, whether on music lessons, food or on other necessaries, is not a good idea. You need to be eat, to feel you are doing well by your kids if you can and to be able to save something. Maybe not this month, but soon.

Agree. If things are so tight, maybe your DH has to consider whether this vocation is right at this time of his life. It could be something he comes back to later. I couldn't feed a family on that.

No but it's pretty clear there is no spare money. Different dioceses seem to be giving different allowances which means they seem to be getting very little help.

While it’s lovely your husband has been able to follow his passion- it’s rather selfish . Maybe a chat about this?

But not an actual breakdown....

What are the outgoings? No rent... etc

One thing you could do to help is to make sure that the rent is definitely the market rate for the property. An increase of £40 a month to the rent is a tiny increase as far as rent goes, but would cover the increase in the flute lessons.

And look into any flexible jobs that you may be able to do working flexible hours from home.

My thoughts are with this budget even £32 on lessons is wasteful.

Not because the flute isnt a rewarding interest or music doesnt matter I am absolutely all for kids having hobbies and fostering a love of the arts.

Its not a waste to spend money on flute lessons per sa

But if you have 3 children and 2 parents and a budget of £85 per week for food, its wasteful and I would argue unfair on the other 2 children to use more than 1/3 of the food budget money on music lessons for one of the children.

Its sad, of course but you have to sometimes prioritise and flute lessons arent a necessity when theyre that high a % of a minimal weekly budget

The hourly rate for a private music lesson recommended by the Musician's Union is £44/hour. It sounds like your flute teacher is bringing his hourly rate up towards this - perhaps he realised he was under charging previously. However I would question the need for a beginner to have an hour long lesson. The norm would be 30 mins per week. If he's charging £40 for 30 mins, I'd look around for another teacher!

Only a selection of kids get them free in South Lanarkshire as not enough funding. My kids did not get free lessons and only about 5 in a class of 30 got them through the school.

Husband gives me £85 for the week and I have to find this lesson money out of it as well as feed a household of 5.

Stopped cold here I’m afraid. All your husband’s money is your money too.

Is it me? Am I being unreasonable??

Yes, you are being unreasonable.

You are getting flute lessons from an expert & qualified musician. You are paying for the tutor's years of training and experience, and expertise.

The tutor has to pay for travel time & expenses to come to your home. They have to pay for their pension, their sick leave, their annual leave from the fees they charge.

You are getting a bargain.

And that's before I even think about the entitled whining about you being on a low income with a family of 5. Why have a third chid you can't afford? Why do you not plan to work? All the clergy families I know (I almost married into one) the spouses have jobs outside the home. And they pay for child care like everyone else.

Jeez I had no idea that one of the richest "companies" in the world pays their staff so little. Managing an £11 billion investment fund must be hard work for the Church Bigwigs, assuming he is COE.

I voted YABU for spending so much of your weekly budget on one lesson for one child. Either go to a lesson a month or find a cheaper way for them to learn the flute - online plus monthly lesson?
Also really shocked that the Church doesn't pay your insurance and utilities!

Sounds like response to husband should be that he can pay it himself if he thinks it's so reasonable. Or split costs between you both 50/50 then for you it would actually decrease in cost. Can she not learn through the school? Lessons would be much cheaper that way.

OK so the vicar thing isn’t working. You’ve had kids you can’t really afford 😬 time he gets a different job that will pay more and probably free you up to work too.
But yes, the flute lessons have gone up a lot.

For comparison, i pay £15 for my DDs 45min singing lesson, which is admittedly very reasonable. She has a lesson every other week; maybe you could drop to once a fortnight?

You feed a family of 5 on 85 quid most of which goes on flute lessons? What do you eat? Gruel? A rotten turnip to share?

OP I’ve read your updates and unless I’ve missed it you’re not really talking about the flute lessons anymore. In particular, it’s really important to know the length of the lesson. If it’s an hour then the new price is good value, and you presumably have scope to ask to have a shorter lesson to cut costs, although you may have to give notice to do that. If it’s half an hour then that’s another story, because that is expensive as well as a big increase.

Just read all of OP’s posts. This isn’t sustainable. Why are you putting up with this?

Whatever your thoughts - and we all think it is too much money - the flute lessons are not, and never have been, a waste of money. This child will be gaining a lot from them besides the love of music. They may even go on to be a professional flautist. Who knows? In any case, even, as is most likely to be the case, the child does not have a musical career, they will still have an enjoyable and rewarding hobby and a love of music that they can use for their own pleasure and that of others.

Never mind the cost of the lessons; why is your husband giving you housekeeping like a 1950s housewife?

Is your child having an hour long lesson or half an hour? If you are paying £40 ear week for a lesson lasting an hour, is there a possibility of cutting down the time to thirty minutes each week? Having taught music lessons, thirty minutes is a standard length for an instrumental lesson and it is only at a more advanced level that people go on to longer lessons. Piano is my first instrument and my lessons were thirty minutes’ long until the term l was taking grade eight. I also play and teach violin and viola,; hence my user name.

So 85-32=53 …for a family of 5 is tough

but with the increase, you are looking at using almost half your food budget for a hobby. That is just not going to do it op…in the long run, what will you do when your 2nd wants to join?
I understand she needs something but that is just too much…find someone else and tell that to your hubby.

Info: what do you mean by husband gives you £85 per week for the families food and this lesson?

Is that all you can afford? Or is DH controlling the money?

Why is 1 of your 3 children getting half the food money for flute lessons?

If £85 is all you have spare you should never have wasted £32 on flute lessons never mind £49. If £85 is just what DH deems reasonable you dont have an inflation one you have a DH one