Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

You can’t. spend half of your ‘income’ on one child.

My dd used to play the flute. She was quite good and then she stopped and now she does other things.

The top and bottom of the situation is you can’t afford it. She will have to look on YouTube or whatever.

Wondering same. You can't be using the food budget for hobby lessons @WouldRatherBeOnaBeach , even 85 a month for 5 is cutting it fine I think

Newsflash. Your child is not going to earn her living playing the flute. Chances are that she will put it down at some point in the very near future and never pick up a flute again in her life. Flute lessons are not important to her or to your family. All they are doing at this stage is causing hardship.

Cancel the flute (<insert any other hobby here) lessons. These kids activities are literally "fun to have if you can afford it" things. They are not things that should impact on feeding your family.

My friend spent thousands and thousands on her child who showed promise in a particular sport, She invested so much time and energy and he spent time on that which should have been spent studying at school. He stopped age 16 and has never thought about it again.

Take this as an opportunity to- find a different instrument. I spent years as a kid learning the flute. Got distinction in grade 8 and full marks in one of my very difficult pieces. Then barely touched it again.

When did you last put some flute music on Spotify? Lizzo is the lone exception.
It isn’t a sociable instrument, it’s incredibly hard to join an orchestra to meet people as there are so many flautists and no one ever wants to hear it. Guitars, violins, pianos, saxophone, drums would be way better. Can always join a little band as an adult. Or even an obscure instrument like the French horn or bassoon. Always demand in orchestras.
I’m sad my parents had no clue about this when they picked flute for me at 7 years old.

£85 to feed a family of 5 for a week is just about do-able but not if £40 of that is taken up by a music lesson. How long is the lesson and are there any alternatives via the school?

Either your husband will have to give you more money for food each week or you will have to find the money from somewhere if you want to keep up the lessons.

Do you have other sources of income? Access to joint bank account? Your own earnings? Child benefit money?

To answer the original question, my DC's piano lessons went up by a big % when the company tipped over the VAT threshold. Could it be that?

But that is not the question you need to be asking.

You can’t afford for your child to have flute lessons - not unless you/a relative wants to gift a years worth of lessons as a Christmas present and pay upfront. You should be spending the money on feeding your family instead. Tell your DH he needs to pay for the lessons himself separately from the food budget.

I'm so glad my husband isn't like this, he gives you £85 like your a child...anyway flute lessons are between £40-45 around here so you've had a good cheap one for a long time...I mean my takeaway just put there prices up between£4-8 per meal so in that context I don't think it's bad tbh but ye not sure why your allowing your hubby to give you so little

I'm also wondering how long the lessons are? Ds has 15 minutes with a teacher once a week at school and makes the rest up with YouTube videos. It's £13 a week. I'd love to give him more, he seems to be quite good at it but it's all we can afford.

£85 a week less £32 for the lesson is £53 a week to feed a family of 5? How and why is this happening? You can't feed a family of 5 on £53 aa week (going down to £45). Something needs to change. Unless you are extremely poor, in which case you need to reach out for help from food banks etc and accept you can't afford music lessons, then your husband is either completely clueless or it is financial abuse. In any of those scenarios you need to get a job to supplement household income and/or have more financial freedom for yourself. If it's the latter you will need either serious professional intervention or in the worst case, divorce.

You cannot afford lessons. Why isn’t she getting them from school, for free? They all have woodwind teachers.

How much does your husband earn? Where is his money going, and why don’t you have access to a joint bank account with all funds and a budget decided together?

How on earth do you feed 5 people on £85 a week (minus flute money). If you’re spending £40 a week on lessons you’ll have £45 for food? How often is she having flute lessons? Can she go less often? Are there cheaper teachers?

How long is the flute lesson? The average payment is £36-50 per half an hour intermediate or £45-60+ per hour for advanced students..

London tends to be more expensive than elsewhere.

It doesn't sound as though the lessons are expensive but you don't have enough money from husband alone to feed you all for the week. Presumably you earn too.

It's impossible to feed your family on £85 a week me etc mind paying the flute lesson to I would think.
Let me guess, you hand no access to your DHs bank account 🙄

I think she means the money for the lessons is monthly which she saves from the weekly food budget to pay. So flute lesson - £40 for month and food £ 340 a month.

The biggest red flag on your post is the amount of money your DH gives you per week for a family of 5.

Do you have a job?
Do you have access to money?
How much does your DH earn?
Are you being financially abused?
What's the £85 meant to cover?

I am assuming you are not a poor family because flute lessons are not a necessity.

Honestly @WouldRatherBeOnaBeach l hope you are ok. You're focusing on flute lessons, when you should be focusing on the 'allowance' from your DH

Really? You're spending nearly half the food budget on bloody flute lessons for one child? I'm sure your kids would rather eat. That's without getting into the financial set up. Mumsnet housewives never cease to amaze.

That is one way to learn but if you want to learn properly, you have to have proper in-person lessons. A good, professional tutor will not only teach good technique, posture, breathing etc but also help with advice and guidance on music choices, progression and opportunities to play with others. Having lessons is also excellent motivation to practice!

The flute bit is the least of your problems.

Why is your husband “giving” you 85 a week? You’re married. Alll the money is family money. I would rather saw off my right arm than live in a “marriage” where my husband pays me below minimum wage to be his wife and feed his children. You cannot possibly think this is a healthy relationship.

If your overall budget is that tight, you need to find a way to increase earnings or drop the lessons completely.

Can you explain further @WouldRatherBeOnaBeach as I think most of us are wondering how and why your weekly budget is so low for five people.

If that's for an hour, it's below the recommended rates for music lessons (for a properly qualified tutor). When I had private lessons a few years ago, my teacher raised the price in line with what his professional association advised. I was paying more than £40 per hour. Perhaps he gave you a reduced rate to start?

It's not fair to judge this just on the increase without also considering market rates. If £32 was way below market rates and £40 is the market rate now you'd be unreasonable. You'd have benefited from a discount which is no longer available, which is tough but not unfair. If £40 is way above market rates then it's a different situation. If so could you find a different teacher if you want to carry on?

Does she own the flute? I know a few children who teach themselves music using apps, and have got to a high standard. Not because of lack of household funds - that’s just how they learn. Have you thought about that?

Contrary to those on here saying this is a lot, it is actually quite a low rate (£40) for a tutor. I charge almost double that and have a waiting list.

I do appreciate it prices some students out. And in the case of real social deprivation, I'd either offer low cost OR possibly free (I can take 1 or 2 students in that category). But this is a persons livelihood. It's how they pay the bills.