Massive increase in cost for lessons, is this normal?

The £40 cost of the lessons is reasonable but the increase isn’t. What’s utterly unacceptable is the financial abuse.

So your husband expects you to now feed a family of 5 on £45? That's not possible surely. Don't either of you work? How did you even afford a flute when you can't adequately feed your family? Hard to believe this can be true

I can’t imagine a flute teacher can squeeze in more than 4 hours of private tuition a day.

4x£40= £160 a day x 5 is £800 a week or £3200 a month

That’s assuming teacher is fully booked, which she almost certainly isn’t.

I’d assume she’s actually earning more like £2000 a month or less once you account for taxes and costs, fuel if she travels to you or room hire costs. That doesn’t seem like much for what will be close to full time hours once you add in marketing and accounts and travel time.

So sounds reasonable to me. It’s a non-essential cost that you need to decide if your family can afford.

It also sounds like your husband needs to do some budgeting and food shopping for a few weeks, so he can better understand the costs of things. It’s not 2002 food prices anymore, which seems to be where his budget still is.

It's too big an increase. Inflation in the UK is about 4%. I would ask why so much? An increase to say £34 or £35 I would not bad an eyelid at.

The wider issue though is the way your DH sorts out family finances. Appalling.

Same as PP’s, I have no idea how you’re feeding 5 people for the week with £53. We have 7 people and spend at least £150. Is he abusive?

Also that is a big hike in price. I’d compare to other teachers in the area and see what the general going rate is. I know instrument lessons tend to be expensive.

I’m also an instrumental teacher. £40 per hour is a pretty standard rate (and actually below the hourly rate the musicians union reccomend), so if the prices you mention are hourly, then yes the teacher has been massively undercharging. However unless your daughter is super advanced (ie preparing for grade 8 or conservatoire entry) she shouldn’t really be needing a full hour, so I’d look at reducing down to 30 mins or an hour every other week. talk to the teacher, as they might have some flexibility for fees for families on a low income. You could Also find out if there are lessons available in school/through a local music service as they’re likely to be cheaper and many boroughs will offer reduced/free lessons if you qualify for free school meals or pupil premium.

edited to add: if this guy is a friend of your husband’s, please check he actually knows what he’s doing! Does he have a music degree, previous instrumental teaching experience, other pupils? I regularly see pupils with really shoddy technique because they’ve been taught by a random friend of the family who has never taught before and isn’t a good enough standard themselves to be giving lessons. if this is the case you really shouldn’t be paying that much. I would have a look at what other local reputable flute teachers are charging (your local secondary school is likely to have someone decent teaching flute, so that might be a good starting point).

It was an increase in lesson time. Which I don't know if it is happening here.

The lessons don't sound unreasonable in price especially if it is 1 on 1 lessons. As your husband knew this tutor maybe he gave a cheaper rate to start with as a favor.
You definitely seem to be very short on money though. Is this money to go with any benefit or wage you receive?

If your husband is ‘giving you money’ that’s financial abuse. You are married - that is legally your money. I know you may have just phrased it that way but it speaks to a dynamic- make sure you have full access to ‘your’ money

on the lessons - push back. Don’t accept. Call the teacher and say it’s too much and see if you can negotiate him down

That’s illogical. You don’t pay more for a driving lesson to be taken on an A road.

We had free recorder and guitar clubs at primary school in the 80s. Now only paid lessons are available in any school near me now. Very sad as it meant most of our school could read music by age 9 and then it was quick and easy to pick up new instruments.

I remember my instrument fees had increased massively at some point and my father was not happy at all but they had said because I going up the grades.

But the most important question is don't you have access to the family finances?That's not right!

That’s unsustainable OP.

How advanced is your dc on the flute? What are the qualifications of the teacher?

The flute is really quite an easy instrument and you just need someone giving you pointers and lots of practice at home … you don’t need an hour of tuition per week - I started on 30 mins a week at age 9 and when I got to grade 7 went up to 45 mins per week simply because my pieces were often quite long- i stayed on 45 mins until I did my grade 8 at age 15, more than adequate amount of time.

Tell the teacher “fine” but you want the lesson to be 20 mins AND you want to sit in on the lesson (to make sure no time is wasted on chit chat and also you can hear what homework is set and help dc to practice at home).

Failing that I’d tell the teacher you’ll be looking for a more cost effective solution until dc has got to a higher grade and need this quality of tuition.

I hope so

yes I was thinking it could be something like this. I was very worried with the recent budget that they would change the VAT thresholds - and they still might in further budgets - which means things like music lessons, speech therapy, maths tutoring, all those sort of things that used to be included in schools or health services but most people end up going private for, could suddenly be a lot more expensive for people. It is a shame as it ends up pricing people out of things like flute lessons, when music is so beneficial for children.

We got notice yesterday that tuition for one of our children is going up from £35 to £40 an hour from 1 Jan. This is on top of school fees.

This is to provide extra support for maths GCSE, and is time limited as she does the GCSE in the Spring, so we’re not making a fuss, but oh my goodness it’s a lot.

The other issue is your personal finances. Your husband seems to be financially abusing you. Please get support on this, it’s no way to live.

£40 doesn’t sound ridiculously high.
Bigger issue is your DH expecting you to feed a family on such a tight budget. Please send him shopping on his own with that little to spend to see what he comes up with. If your finances are so low that there is no more for food, then flute lessons need to go on hold for a while.

£40 is pretty standard rate so maybe he is just bringing himself in line with others. Agree it’s a hassle for you though.

I think the problem here is the husband, what is he - nuts?

That is all very well DH saying pay - is he the one that won't be eating?
H

1. £40 a lesson is not unusual here in the Midlands - any sort of tutoring here is around 50 plus for an hr or just under (to allow changeover)
2. 85 for food for the week is low for 5 people, less the lessons even at 32 is ridiculous.
3. It is financial abuse to allow you only 85 for expenses for a week then commit 40 of it to one child when you have 3, do the others do any activities?

I think shop around for other lessons, renegotiate finances with 'D'H and I would be pushing for him to cover the cost of the lesson himself.

If flute is £40pw and you get £85pw for food and living for 5 people YOU CANNOT AFFORD FLUTE LESSONS. It’s as simple as that. Consider a group lesson, or shorter lesson or only every other week if they are really important to your child. £85pw for 5 us already only £17 a week each which is not easy at all.

This is madness.
Either you can’t afford flute lessons as your household income is too low, or your husband is financially abusing you.

Why are you in a position where your DH gives you money? This is not 1950! If you have no income and DH does then you need a joint account, all money is family money. And give up the lessons as you cannot afford them. I suggest you read up on assertiveness if you are really are being given ridiculous tiny amounts of money for food. Or leave, benefits might be more!

1. That’s a massive price hike.
2. That’s also an expensive lesson if it’s 30 mins. If it’s longer, does it really need to be that long? Actually, does the flute teacher provide the flute? That may be a justifiable cost.
3. £85 to feed 5 is mad!! To inckude a music lesson is ridiculous! Are you (as a family) skint? Or is your dh tight/financially abusive? If you’re really skint, then pack in the music lessons.

I need more information. I cant find an update anywhere from OP . But the music lesson isnt the issue here. Surely thats a typo. Im Australian and 85pounds is roughly $170 give or take and no way anyone is doing a food shop for 5 people and paying lessons with that sort of money. What is the household income? Is there any government assistance? OP are you in a financially abusive relationship or have no access to finances?