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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep my 5 year old off school if she isn’t ill

29 replies

earlymorningriserzz · 02/12/2025 19:55

Our school has a horrible virus going around- few teachers and lots of kids off.

Nativity was due to be this week but it’s been rescheduled to next week due to the volume of absences.

I have a 4 month old baby and I’ve suffered badly with anxiety since DD1 fell when she was younger and knocked herself out. She does this every time and I can’t unsee it.

Im feeling so anxious and worried about her brining something home and passing it onto my 4 month old.

I know I can’t always prevent them getting ill but am I being pathetic to keep her off for a few days? Its causing me so much stress 😭

OP posts:
Notashamed13 · 02/12/2025 20:17

Ive done it....and unashamedly would do it again. But then again I need to live upto my username 😀

earlymorningriserzz · 02/12/2025 20:16

stichguru · 02/12/2025 20:04

I don't think you are pathetic at all, but I would advise against it. It's winter in a primary school. There will be viruses around for months. Once you've started keeping your child off, when do you stop? I think you just need to accept they are a hazard of having a kid and she goes in unless SHE is ill. Otherwise for the next 3-4 months you'll just be stressing everyday over whether "it's a too virus-y day" and she should be off, or "she's missed to much school" and needs to go in. That sounds like MUCH more stress than having the occasional illness.

@stichguru

Thank you, I totally get where you’re coming from and agree. I guess I just need to hear it from others that whilst it’s not pleasant to get ill, my kids will be fine and will recover easily like most kids do.

ahh being a parent can be hard - I just love them SO much.

OP posts:
noctilucentcloud · 02/12/2025 20:14

I agree with the PP, this might help your anxiety this time but it won't in the long term. There's so much sickness in schools you will want to pull your elder child out multiple times this winter and going forward. You might rationalise it as this once, but realistically your anxiety will want you to do it more and more. And maybe build to other scenarios (anxiety tends to increase in my experience unless you fight it). I'd send her in. I'd also see if you can get any help with your anxiety, it must've been horrible to see your daughter like that and it's understandable that it's made you wary, but stressing to this extent suggests you need some help processing it and moving forward.

stichguru · 02/12/2025 20:04

I don't think you are pathetic at all, but I would advise against it. It's winter in a primary school. There will be viruses around for months. Once you've started keeping your child off, when do you stop? I think you just need to accept they are a hazard of having a kid and she goes in unless SHE is ill. Otherwise for the next 3-4 months you'll just be stressing everyday over whether "it's a too virus-y day" and she should be off, or "she's missed to much school" and needs to go in. That sounds like MUCH more stress than having the occasional illness.

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