To quit my job and lose a ton of money/salary?

This

It's very unlikely that Children Services have the resources to place the children elsewhere so it's time to be clear which meetings are essential for the kids / you and which suit the social workers schedule only.

SWs are very busy so will always fit around what works best for them unless you put your foot down.

The OP shouldn't have to give up her job because of social workers' work patterns though. Perhaps she should say she can't look after the children any more because it is not compatible with her work pattern?
I feel they should be doing more to support her. As a single person she needs to have a job, there is no safety net.
Maybe the fosterers who don't work have a partner who works, independent wealth or access to higher levels of benefits?

OP, I think you missed my question about what the IRO has suggested at the LAC reviews. Your situation must have been discussed?

Also, have you any support network? When I was a foster carer, my sister and her DP had approval to be our support after they had DBS checks etc which meant they could babysit and also do school pick ups etc.

The problem is that meetings need to happen within a legal framework and timescales, and will involve multiple professionals particularly given there are three children to consider. I can’t see how social workers could guarantee being able to have meetings on one day of the week only - it may be a non-working day for people who need to be there.

@SparklyLimeHairi think the time has come for a direct but remaining polite approach. Make sure there is a tangible action on SS to complete, so directly ask them “please confirm that is your decision that it is preferable for me to be unemployed and fully reliant on foster care payment rather than employed but unavailable to you Mon-Thurs?”

Also when these children no longer need your care, how are you supposed to support yourself?
Giving up work will have a catastrophic affect on your pension.
The long term negative impact on how you financially care for yourself, not to mind these children is huge.
This has the potential to cost you hundred of thousands in pension contributions, additional to your loss of salary.
Unless you are independently wealthy or expecting an enormous inheritance, I can't understand how you will survive.

How clearly have you laid it out for them, as in:

” As a direct result of the way that you are scheduling appointments, the frequency and times, I will need to leave paid employment. This will mean I have only the Foster care payments to financially support a family of 4 people which will have a detrimental effect on the standard of living for me and the 3 children entrusted to my care. As a direct result of your actions, I will no longer be able to afford enrichment activities like clubs and holidays, will have a much smaller budget for food and clothing and will may need to downsize to a smaller, cheaper property in a less desirable area. Your actions will be the direct cause of potentially taking a financially stable household and making us financially vulnerable. This could be avoided by reducing the frequency of appointments and scheduling appts on the week day that I do not work.”

Can you hire some help (cleaner/childcare/gardener) to enable you to continue in your role? Could you get your employer to approve working from home (if suitable for you). It seems a huge shame and potentially really difficult if you give up your role. Would you be able to have a nanny or use a nanny share? Good luck with whatever you decide. I can see that's a massive challenge.

Also, they must have taken your working hours into account when deciding if the placement was feasible?

What I find very surprising is that one would presume that part of the decision-making process in placing the children with you would have been your financial situation and ability to provide a comfortable life for them.
Yet now social services seem hugely unbothered about the prospect of a massive drop in your income. How does that make sense?

Have you created a paper trail of what you want to happen so that you can do both?
You need to email SS the minutes of your conversation today, what you want, what has been agreed, what needs to happen so you can have the child and work.
Do they want you to have the children, or would they prefer them in the system?

Lots of women work with children.
I think you are giving up to much sacrificing your career.
Its too much.

You may need a papertrail to help with your work situation.

Get on to ACAS to see what your rights are.
Go out sick for a few weeks whilst you get your head together.

I would not give up the job. can you make do using a combination of annual leave, unpaid parental leave, sick days and your 5th day until the meetings are less frequent? Your work are being inflexible, I wouldn't go until I was forced out, and then at that stage I'd get an employment lawyer involved.

Such a sad situation and an amazing thing you are doing.

How do you currently care for the 2 year-old though? You’ve said a nanny is not an option so does she go to nursery?

I agree with this.

I'd also plan meticulously from a financial point of view. You have years ahead of caring ahead of you and it's harder to get back into work once you leave. So exit is good. But you also need a plan (timeframe and a story) to get back into work.

I have found teen years deffo labour and emotionally intensive and you are about to hit that time.

How many meetings are you talking about?
Surely even if its weekly, you can do on your day off?

I meant speak to ACAS.
I agree with playing hardball with them.
You have nothing to lose.

3 children are very costly, of course you have to consider the salary, housing and pension implications for yourself in all of this.

Getting signed out sick with stress would be a good start.

I think you need to play serious hardball with SS while you can.