Christmas now unaffordable

Even then my son is disabled, he gets high rate care & mobility DLA which means UC includes severely disabled child element and carers element and it is still nowhere near £71k.

Please please seek some kind of support.
Are you on social services register- I think with both your disabilities you should qualify for some support.
Could you get sheltered housing.
Sad to read this, I hope you can get help.
But in a way you are correct- Christmas is the least of your concerns

With the urticaria have you ever been referred for Xolair? It’s life changing and now being approved for some food allergies

OP i read your first post and felt so sorry for you. I’ve now read the rest of your answers and honestly I feel like your mindset is a huge part of the problem. You sound defeated before you even try. With the level of your sickness and ailments you should be on a higher pip level. Additionally not seeing a dr for a year because an ‘evil receptionist’ sounds dramatic, also citizens advice is definitely not ‘always closed’.

Likewise there are food bank self referral options through lots of charities. I’m not saying things aren’t tough for you. They definitely are. But given what you have written here you and your husband should both be receiving more support. You both need to push forward with getting assessed, advice and support,

I think you need to refer yourself to adult social services.

Of course it's not bloody true, you Muppet. People getting the most in benefits will be the long term sick and disabled, with kids or caring for severely disabled kids. To get those benefits you've got to be entirely unable to work and your life seriously limited due to your health. The average person earning £71k isn't remotely disabled or limited in any way. So no, not a comparable lifestyle at all.

From what you are saying OP, you should have over £700 left after you pay your rent. It's not a lot but at the same time, it should cover some gas and electricity, some food to cover more than 2 meals and internet.

How is that £700 spent on at the moment?

Supporting a 20yr old in college, who isn't entitled to either benefits (because they're in full time education) or student finance loans etc (because they're not at university). So I can only assume he's being entirely supported by mum and dad then, I'm not aware there's any other financial options. He can't pass basic maths and English so I'm sure he's not there on a scholarship.

OPs husband is also eating properly due to diabetes, it's only OP who is on 2 meals a week. We don't know the appetite of these men but it could be quite a lot.

Then there's utilities bills and the entire council tax because she's not claiming the means-tested discount for it.

It sounds like your main problems here are your husband and your son. Your husband should be claiming what he’s entitled to, and your son should be either working, or if he genuinely cannot work, then he should also be claiming what he is entitled to.

Do you have any friends or family that can help advocate for you, contact adult social services if need be?

With this update sounds like you would both benefit from support from adult social care, you should be able to refer yourselves, if not, swallow your pride and make an actual GP appointment and ask for a referral . There’s so much they can support and advise with, including OT and support for you both at home, with food prep etc

Your DH doesn't have the luxury of choosing not to apply for PIP.
His refusal to apply is punishing the whole family.
Does your child still living at home get any disability benefits?
Do they contribute towards the bills?

You need to refer to social services OP because if your husband is no longer able to offer the support you need to stay safe and healthy you absolutely need input from the local authority.

She’s disabled, even if she tried it would be a lot harder. Employers aren’t supposed to discriminate but given th choice between someone fit and healthy and energetic and someone who isn’t they’re going to make their choice.
Why do people pick holes in every post on this site? Don’t believe it’s real why bother commenting?

Will.you get the heating allowance? This will help to pay the energy bills. Are there community shops near you? Not the same as food banks, but you can get a huge amount of food for minimum cost.

You don't need new decs, use old ones (we always do), free local marketplace. Christmas is about being together, ask everyone to contribute something to the meal.

My grandma was alone as a widow with 3 DC, had to take in lodgers (cook and serve breakfast and evening meals) and work around the clock, sadly no benefits then. It was gruelling, a harsh survival. In no way belittling your situation, just to say now we can ask for help so time for DH to do it. Xxx

lol. No.

Maybe for a very very small amount of claimants with more than one severely disabled children or similar, but the average claimant? Absolutely nowhere near.

A job seeker for example, will get rent (up to housing association rate) and council tax paid plus £90 odd quid week. So maybe a little over a grand total. If you’re physically unable to work, which is getting harder and harder to claim for these days (despite what the daily mails states), you’ll maybe get an extra £400/700 a month depending on how severe your needs are.

Not even close to the equivalent of £71,000 a year, which is about £4,300 take home a month.

@purplepentagram why can’t you get a foodbank referral?
the cab will help with your husbands pip form. If you can’t get into your local cab call their main helpline, they have workers who will and do help with completing pip forms and they will tell you if anything else to apply for. Your job centre will be able to help look at your benefit entitlement and your local council can support with looking at your council tax reduction and they often have access to money advice support charities and organisations

I don't understand any of this. The OP doesn't even really mention any serious attempts at finding work. Just "there isn't any". Hives don't have to stop you working. There's online work. Mystery shopping. Just a few hours would be a bit of useful money.

Re the food side, if you have the nextdoor app, it links you to local people who will be able to let you know what’s available in your area. Ours is really good for that. We have someone on there currently in a similar position to yourself, and they’ve been given lots of really good information. Many towns have community fridges and places to go where warm free meals are offered daily.

Why do people pick holes in every post on this site these days? If you think it’s fake why bother commenting? She said she’s down to two meals a week not that she only eats twice a week. She is probably sustained by small snacks. Either way is going through a hard time why leave some snarky comment to be a dickhead? I just don’t get it

I don’t believe you only eat twice a week. You would literally starve.

If you are entitled to do so, claim PIP and very benefit you can get. This thread seems like a goady benefit bashing tread. All for debate on benefits etc but this seems lazy.

So what is your plan of action? Wait until you starve to death? Because you need to actually help yourself if you want anything to change 🤷‍♀️ you seem to have a reason why anything anyone suggests won't work

If you can't verify it why quote it?

he’s not applied for pip due to believing all the nastiness that’s currently going round

they are not aware of our problems for it is not something they should be worrying about.

I didn’t have it in me to do a mr out of fear that I would lose what I got.

husband will not apply for pip due to the problems and stress I went threw to get the little bit I get.plus he needs all the relevant paperwork which he hasn’t got yet.

Can’t get any help from the community due to a difference in beliefs and it also being very unsafe at times.

Our local mp - tried that once and was made very uncomfortable and unwelcome.

gp surgery- good luck getting past the evil receptionist

untill my husband gets seen and some actual answer to what’s going on with him - he will not apply for anything

cab - I keep trying but it’s impossible to actually speak to a person

You don't have the luxury of all these preferences, hurt feelings, and points of pride. I'm really sorry that things are so hard for you. But you really need to move past all the barriers you are imposing on yourselves.

It sounds incredibly tough for you. I’m not surprised you feel low if you are eating so little Approach your local food bank, churches and Salvation Army. You may be able to get food, meals and support in other ways there. I help in a local food bank and we are supporting many in very similar situations at the moment. We will be giving out extra Christmas goodies shortly to those who are eligible. I hope things turn around for you all and you get some relief.

Because it isn’t possible to survive for any length of time eating twice a week ‘if that’.

OP has a computer/device and access to the internet, some money left after rent and bills and yet NO food, when there is free food available to those in need. Mm.

The medical stuff, who knows.