Page 4 | Christmas now unaffordable

purplepentagram · 2025-12-02T18:38:53+00:00

Is there even any point in me bothering with the tree, decs and all that goes with it. When I can’t even afford to do any shopping. all you see in the news is all about how those on benefits are so better off and living a life a luxury…. Well can someone point me in the right direction cause our life sucks. things were ok till my husbands health took a turn for the worse.which is also starting to effect our marriage - for that might as well be over an all. He is now under investigation due to neurological tremors and a few other things. I’m also disabled with physical and neurological issues. I get some pip and my husband gets carers.( he’s not applied for pip due to believing all the nastiness that’s currently going round) Our universal credit is 1085 a month after deductions. Our rent is 700 of that. So we’re living off less than 500 a month. By the time Iv paid all the bills there is nothing left. So what’s the point in even carrying on anymore. Things were manageable even after our youngest child dropped off our claim. ( he’s still in college full time and at home) my daughter has left and gone to uni. My eldest 2 have their own life’s. Am I wrong in telling them not to bother coming home this year and asking my son if he can find a friends to go to instead. We’re down to 2 meals a week, minimal heating due to the amount that British Gas is asking for each month. Iv cancelled everything I could from insurance policies to subscriptions, internet ( that’s due to go off any day now) life is miserable and I can’t seem to find anyway out. We can’t afford to move, or even get on the council list. All the local help has stopped applications and I can’t even get a food bank referral. There is nothing left in our town and trying to find work is impossible. Just keep getting refused. So no Christmas for us this year and the kids have all been told not to bother since there is nothing. I just feel that the only way would be if we wasn’t here to be a burden. We don’t have any other family or friends. So that’s not an option either. Rather fed up on life and how the news is portraying things when it’s way far from reality.

Minty25 · 03/12/2025 00:36

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I am a benefits advisor and the charity I work for deals with people over 50. I see a lot of situations where both of a couple are unwell and yes they are generally not starving although obviously it's still a tight budget. I can only think either rent way higher than the Uc rent element is covering or they have UC elements missing. As many other have said a trip or call to CAB or Age UK would be able to clarify what is going wrong.

mmsnet · 03/12/2025 00:31

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Minty25 · 03/12/2025 00:25

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread so forgive me if I'm mentioning stuff that's already been mentioned.
You absolutely need to explore why you don't have the LCWRA element on your claim. I help a lot of people with UC50 forms and rarely see anyone turned down for it especially not for a serious neurological condition. If you have been assessed and were only awarded LCW then if your condition has deteriorated you can submit fir notes stating this as they will re-assess you.
Ask your local council if they have a household support fund or hardship fund. Ours are currently giving away food and fuel vouchers.
Can either of you do nay work? Once you have LCW or LCWRA you will get a work allowance meaning no deductions for earnings until you reach £400 odd of earnings - sorry I can't remember the exact figure.

Justchilling07 · 03/12/2025 00:24

Chinsupmeloves · 02/12/2025 23:23

I'm completely aware this £71000 is ridiculous 😒

Do you really not qualify for FSM? Sorry, I don't know your whole situation, so if you are on UC/working as well.

I've never been on benefits but have friends who are whose DC at same specialist school as DC. They do have their rent and CT paid, UC income for 3 DC all with highest DLA with mobile elements. From what they've told me and amd conversations I've overheard at school gates, also the food packages and vouchers that are handed over, they really do get a lot of money!

Not saying this is true for all, just my experience. Two seemingly able adults who smoke at the gate, go into a taxi with DC, oh and she is pregnant again. It really doesn't give the best picture but I'm glad they're there together dropping off and picking up their DC, which not all do.

Meanwhile those of us who don't get the freebies stand and have to explain to our kids why they don't have the bags of food and presents, which could be handled better I guess. Xx

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You’re not saying this is all true, but you’ve heard it at the schools gates🙄it’s just your experience.. from what you’ve heard, from your ‘friends’.
Then to round off your comment add a couple of kisses! What a truly, unpleasant person you are😬

sleepwouldbenice · 03/12/2025 00:21

Hi OP
i am not going to have any more practical advice but I can add my voice to those that say
please please claim everything you are entitled to. Ignore the bloody haters, I want my taxes to help those that need it. I value society, we all need help sometimes

also yes please contact all the charities and support, it’s literally what they want to do

as for Xmas, it really isn’t about presents and food it’s about people and love.i echo the thought that everyone can bring something or eat and then come round. Play games, chat together, play music

please look after yourself

Kirbert2 · 03/12/2025 00:13

Chinsupmeloves · 02/12/2025 23:23

I'm completely aware this £71000 is ridiculous 😒

Do you really not qualify for FSM? Sorry, I don't know your whole situation, so if you are on UC/working as well.

I've never been on benefits but have friends who are whose DC at same specialist school as DC. They do have their rent and CT paid, UC income for 3 DC all with highest DLA with mobile elements. From what they've told me and amd conversations I've overheard at school gates, also the food packages and vouchers that are handed over, they really do get a lot of money!

Not saying this is true for all, just my experience. Two seemingly able adults who smoke at the gate, go into a taxi with DC, oh and she is pregnant again. It really doesn't give the best picture but I'm glad they're there together dropping off and picking up their DC, which not all do.

Meanwhile those of us who don't get the freebies stand and have to explain to our kids why they don't have the bags of food and presents, which could be handled better I guess. Xx

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I don't work but my husband does which means we don't earn too much for UC but do earn too much to receive FSM because the threshold basically means that if you work, unless you are only working a very tiny amount of hours then you won't get it. If no adults are working then that will be why they get it.

Rent will depend on the area but unless you live in a cheaper area, it is unusual now for rent to be completely fully covered. We get a CT discount but it isn't fully paid.

My son gets the highest rates of DLA too, both care and mobility but I've never received any food packages, vouchers or bags of presents. Must be a school support thing rather than a standard UC support thing.

EINSEINSNULL · 02/12/2025 23:58

Pumpkinsonastring · 02/12/2025 19:53

I wonder if some of the most desperate would do better to have their gas switched off. The standing charges are horrendous now. Whether people use their gas or not, they're still paying a bill. If they had only electricity it's only one standing charge, the money they spent on the gas standing charge could then be spent on actual electricity to heat their homes. Would only be cheaper if they already possessed some kind of electric heating and electric shower though, having to buy those things would be too expensive. I'm also not sure if getting the gas switched off is free. I know it isn't if you want it switched on again in the future.

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As someone with no mains gas, in an all electric house, I'd just like to point out how much more expensive it is to heat with electricity, especially if you're not on some sort of dual rate system (cheaper at night) with storage heaters.

CrochetCache · 02/12/2025 23:49

purplepentagram · 02/12/2025 21:57

I’m autistic with major issues around food. I have no interest in food, no appetite, I have an allergic reaction to a lot of food items. I suffer with a histamine intolerance so anything that triggers my body to produce histamine I look like Iv been rolling in nettles and then go into anaphylactic shock. Wheat, oats, barley, hops all cause me issues and pain same with milk.

i have to be prompted, reminded or asked about meals or snacks. Otherwise it would not cross my mind. I can’t cope in supermarkets and don’t do shopping. I can’t touch certain raw foods, I can’t chop things safely or be trusted at times near a cooker. My husband has always dealt with all of this untill recently but now it’s becoming an issue for him. Plus he even now forgets to check with me, prompt me.

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Have you got mcas? Try the support groups online for financial help.

GladImhereVladimir · 02/12/2025 23:47

Applesinapie · 02/12/2025 23:43

If OPs DH is too proud to claim for PIP, then I doubt he’ll be happy to ask people to give them money. They need to claim the benefits they are entitled to instead.

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He isn't too proud, the OP said he was too scared, having watched what they put OP through for her to get her award. He doesn't feel strong enough to get through it, especially when there is no guarantee of an award even if he meets the criteria (they can and do lie).

Applesinapie · 02/12/2025 23:43

Glindaa · 02/12/2025 23:29

OP
I am sorry to hear this
failing all else could you start a go fund me with your story ? If anything it raises awareness. Also I hope newspapers might pick up your story from mumsnet & offer you money for your story
it’s not right what’s happening in this country
no no one should be struggling like your family

If OPs DH is too proud to claim for PIP, then I doubt he’ll be happy to ask people to give them money. They need to claim the benefits they are entitled to instead.

Troublein · 02/12/2025 23:41

OP, all councils in England, Scotland and Wales are required to have Council Tax Support schemes, both for pensioners and for working age people.

If you go to your councils website and put in Council Tax Support or Council Tax Reduction, you are likely to find you can apply for it online.

The amounts vary from council to council, but even the meanest council in the UK still covers 50% of council tax for working age claimants.
Most cover up to 80% of the yearly amount.

Glindaa · 02/12/2025 23:29

OP
I am sorry to hear this
failing all else could you start a go fund me with your story ? If anything it raises awareness. Also I hope newspapers might pick up your story from mumsnet & offer you money for your story
it’s not right what’s happening in this country
no no one should be struggling like your family

littleorangefox · 02/12/2025 23:26

littleorangefox · 02/12/2025 23:13

OP I haven't read the full thread so I'm unsure if anyone has said this already but are you aware that you should be receiving both carer's element and carer's allowance? They are 2 different things. If you get £700 housing element then your UC should be

Couple over 25 - £628.10
Housing - £700
Carer's Element - 201.68

Total - £1529.78

Your husband receives carers allowance which is separate from UC and a different thing from the carer element. This is £83.30 per week but for the purposes of UC it is considered to be £360.96 per month as they essentially multiply it by 52 then divide by 12 to get a monthy amount as UC is paid monthly.

This should leave you £1168.92 in UC each month.

You should then also have the PIP amount you mentioned plus the carer's allowance which is paid separately.

This should give you a total of £1809.88

It sounds like you aren't currently claiming everything you are entitled to. Your husband should also apply for PIP and you should apply for LCWRA on UC as well because that would be an extra £423.27 per month. Only one of you can receive the money for LCWRA though and the person getting it cannot also receive carer's allowance so it would make more sense for it to be you.

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Apologies I made an error there and can't edit. The last part should say that LCWRA and Carer's Element (the £201 payment which is part of UC) cannot be claimed together by the same person.

However, if you received LCWRA rather than him, your husband could still receive both Carer's Element and Carer's Allowance.

Frugalgal · 02/12/2025 23:25

LollySox · 02/12/2025 23:11

Hopefully it goes better than the woman who rang churches asking for baby formula for her baby who hadn't fed for a day.
(Spoiler: nearly all churches refused her but 2 mosques and a Buddhist temple agreed to help her)

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That was in the USA where a lot of the churches she contacted are more about white supremacy than Christianity.

Applesinapie · 02/12/2025 23:25

LollySox · 02/12/2025 23:11

Hopefully it goes better than the woman who rang churches asking for baby formula for her baby who hadn't fed for a day.
(Spoiler: nearly all churches refused her but 2 mosques and a Buddhist temple agreed to help her)

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That’s probably not the best example though. That woman didn’t have a starving baby; she did it for a TikTok experiment. Many of the religious places of worship advised they didn’t have formula on hand but gave advice as to how she could obtain some. Re your spoiler alert; some churches did offer help - 9 I think - and one pastor said he would go and buy her some but of course, she didn’t really need it since it was all fake. She even used recordings of a crying baby since she didn’t even have a baby.

LollySox · 02/12/2025 23:23

Switcher · 02/12/2025 21:57

I don't understand any of this. The OP doesn't even really mention any serious attempts at finding work. Just "there isn't any". Hives don't have to stop you working. There's online work. Mystery shopping. Just a few hours would be a bit of useful money.

Have you engaged with the job market lately?

Chinsupmeloves · 02/12/2025 23:23

Kirbert2 · 02/12/2025 22:24

Even with a few children it still isn't equivalent to £71k a year.

Rent is rarely fully covered
Free school meals won't be fully covered for those on UC until next September, I'm on UC and even with a disabled child don't qualify for free school meals currently
carers allowance is deducted from UC

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I'm completely aware this £71000 is ridiculous 😒

Do you really not qualify for FSM? Sorry, I don't know your whole situation, so if you are on UC/working as well.

I've never been on benefits but have friends who are whose DC at same specialist school as DC. They do have their rent and CT paid, UC income for 3 DC all with highest DLA with mobile elements. From what they've told me and amd conversations I've overheard at school gates, also the food packages and vouchers that are handed over, they really do get a lot of money!

Not saying this is true for all, just my experience. Two seemingly able adults who smoke at the gate, go into a taxi with DC, oh and she is pregnant again. It really doesn't give the best picture but I'm glad they're there together dropping off and picking up their DC, which not all do.

Meanwhile those of us who don't get the freebies stand and have to explain to our kids why they don't have the bags of food and presents, which could be handled better I guess. Xx

InlandTaipan · 02/12/2025 23:22

Switcher · 02/12/2025 21:57

I don't understand any of this. The OP doesn't even really mention any serious attempts at finding work. Just "there isn't any". Hives don't have to stop you working. There's online work. Mystery shopping. Just a few hours would be a bit of useful money.

"Hives dont stop you working"

I'm guessing you've never suffered from chronic urticaria, esp paired with anaphylaxis. Google it sometime. Last time my son had an episode he was blue lighted to hospital and kept in for 24 hours till it subsided. He couldn't stand, let alone work.

littleorangefox · 02/12/2025 23:13

purplepentagram · 02/12/2025 19:53

No that was not a typo. I only eat twice a week if that.

son is now not eligible to be on our claim due to age, he’s not eligible for uc either due to being in college. If he could work he would but that’s complicated.
no my older children can not help due to them struggling as it is. Plus they are not aware of our problems for it is not something they should be worrying about.
I have 1 daughter who is in assisted living 1 who is only just surviving at uni - her student finance only just covers her accommodation she is on a 0hr contract and is lucky to even get 8hrs a week at times. My eldest has a family of his own. So this is not something that can be discussed with them.

We are claiming everything correctly.
Our universal credit is made up of
couple over 25 , rent , carers eliment
then they deduct the carers which leaves us £1085 a month

My pip is only 280 a month - I didn’t have it in me to do a mr out of fear that I would lose what I got.
no lcwra on claim
husband will not apply for pip due to the problems and stress I went threw to get the little bit I get.plus he needs all the relevant paperwork which he hasn’t got yet.

once Iv paid council tax ( no discount anymore) gas, electricity, water, there is next to nothing left to split between our other outstanding debts.
we gave up our pets, my car, so now we are practically housebound. I’m constantly being hounded by uc which is making my health worse. But you have to do what they say.

our citizens advice is never open. Step change couldn’t help because we didn’t owe enough out. Can’t get any help from the community due to a difference in beliefs and it also being very unsafe at times.

OP I haven't read the full thread so I'm unsure if anyone has said this already but are you aware that you should be receiving both carer's element and carer's allowance? They are 2 different things. If you get £700 housing element then your UC should be

Couple over 25 - £628.10
Housing - £700
Carer's Element - 201.68

Total - £1529.78

Your husband receives carers allowance which is separate from UC and a different thing from the carer element. This is £83.30 per week but for the purposes of UC it is considered to be £360.96 per month as they essentially multiply it by 52 then divide by 12 to get a monthy amount as UC is paid monthly.

This should leave you £1168.92 in UC each month.

You should then also have the PIP amount you mentioned plus the carer's allowance which is paid separately.

This should give you a total of £1809.88

It sounds like you aren't currently claiming everything you are entitled to. Your husband should also apply for PIP and you should apply for LCWRA on UC as well because that would be an extra £423.27 per month. Only one of you can receive the money for LCWRA though and the person getting it cannot also receive carer's allowance so it would make more sense for it to be you.

TryingAgainAgainAgain · 02/12/2025 23:12

There are so many suggestions on this thread now, OP, that it must get overwhelming.

Don’t be put off by the posters who are suspicious, just let that slide. There is also a lot of help on here.

Pick two things that you think you can follow up.

I’d suggest:

Call adult social services tomorrow and ask for an assessment. Tell them how often you are eating, and tell them about your husband’s and son’s issues.
Call the GP and if they won’t give you an appointment ask for the Practice Manager’s email. Email and explain you and your husband need to be seen and have been waiting a year.

That would at least be a start. I do think your family need social services help now. There is a lot of vulnerability and a lot to unpick.

LollySox · 02/12/2025 23:11

dcadmamagain · 02/12/2025 20:33

I hope you don’t take offence st this comment but have a look at local churches - some near me offer free meals on certain days and warm halls with coffee/tea and biscuits. No religious hard sell it’s just helping people

Hopefully it goes better than the woman who rang churches asking for baby formula for her baby who hadn't fed for a day.
(Spoiler: nearly all churches refused her but 2 mosques and a Buddhist temple agreed to help her)

Applesinapie · 02/12/2025 23:10

purplepentagram · 02/12/2025 22:50

My injections are self administered

Wish I’d never bothered posting now. This is why we don’t speak to people, ask for help or advice. Always looked down on, called a lier or worse. Would it make any difference if I had said that I totally hate Xmas only ever bothered when the kids were little but in all honesty I hate it. It’s so overwhelming and stressful and for what. Never celebrated it when I was a child.
yes my life sucks, I know and I don’t need reminding.
yes Iv given up because I’m mentally and physically exhausted. Im struggling to even function on daily basis. Im past caring and really can’t do with it anymore. I’d always been the rock of our family unit. But Iv now got to a point where I could quite easily just disappear. Not that anyone would even notice. At least that way I wouldn’t be another burden on society that’s just trying to survive this cruel world. I’d happily swap all my health issues and disability’s to have a job or something that I could do without being in constant pain.

You’ve been given loads of advice from what I’ve seen. Some people really know their stuff and have advised accordingly. It’s up to you if you want to take it though

PersephonePomegranate · 02/12/2025 23:06

It's never people with moderate to severe disabilities that are gaining from the benefits system, nor their carers. They're not people that are likely to start rampaging or looting if they're unhappy though, so no government gives two hoots about them. It's utterly disgraceful and I'm sorry you're in this position. Your husband really needs to apply for PIP.

SpaceRaccoon · 02/12/2025 23:03

GladImhereVladimir · 02/12/2025 22:57

Lionbridge had an abysmal reputation in the industry I used to work in. They were not considered a reliable employer at all. The scores they get on the boards (for which I can no longer access full descriptions due to having left the industry) are so low I'd worry they suggest non-payment. What kind of work do you think OP could do for them?

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I do work for them (well, Telus now) and I've never not been paid what I'm owed to the penny, and that's been coming up for six years.

SpaceRaccoon · 02/12/2025 23:02

purplepentagram · 02/12/2025 22:52

Can you please explain what is prolific and data annotation. Iv no idea what any of what you said is.

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Yes of course. Prolific is a legitimate questionaire website, you sign up and give them some information about your demographics and then you'll hopefully get some paid questionairs, some of which are quite interesting. It's mostly from researchers at various universities. With autism, you might get some additional ones actually.

For the others, the Earn £10 a day thread in the money section is a good place to start. It's just occured to me though that earnings will get offset against benefits so I guess that's something to factor in?