Christmas now unaffordable

How on earth will she move with no money?? Where will she get the deposit? Move her stuff?

I hear you ,and the op
But it sounds like the area is not helping
If you haven't a car and you can't leave the house because the area is dangerous,that means your effectively house bound and thus depressed.
It's no life for anyone
I know how hard it is to move
But we have to help ourselves..I'm diagnosed autistic to ,I know how hard it is when you get stuck in your brain and can't see the wood for the trees .
Op needs a focus to work towards,I think moving is that focus

It's not easy to just move to a new area. The OP is autistic. I really hope she reaches out to one of the organisations suggested as she needs someone to advocate for her.

Unfortunately it isn't as simple as just getting a fit note from your doctor then getting awarded LCWRA. Also, receiving PIP doesn't guarantee someone will be awarded LCWRA. There is an application process which can take many months. Fit notes have to be submitted and after 29 days should trigger a UC50 form being sent out. This is simply the application form for a work capability assessment. It's similar to the application for PIP. Once this is returned, along with all the required evidence, the claimant has to wait to see if they will be getting an assessment. Then they have to wait for that. Then wait for the decision. This usually takes a very long time.

Also, I'm not sure where you're seeing information that LCWRA amounts are being reduced from April? Even if they were, applying asap won't change how much the OP gets in the end if they are awarded it.

I'm aware. That's reflected in my calculations.

Get the pip forms and fill them in as if you are your husband.
It's needs based not diagnosis based
Re do your pip giving them every single bit of information
I think as well I'd be moving away from the area you live in
I've heard of people in the north of Scotland getting council housing very quickly
Definitely worth looking around to move somewhere with more going on so you have a chance of a life .
I think the problem with run down areas is that people don't have spare money to give food to food banks

I think you need to speak clearly to your husband that you both need to do whatever it takes to get out of this mess. If there are things that he isn’t doing that are stopping money coming in, then it sounds like he is making a choice to deny you food and you need to get angry about that so he applies for whatever he can. You need to make him take this seriously

Also if you put where you are, then people might be able to recommend local services to you. I live in the sticks and there are places that help if needed.

Have a look at the forum money saving expert or the fun money club, there are ways of earning a bit extra but sorting out benefits needs to be the first port of call.

This is going to sound a big pathetic given how much you are going through and need, but I knew a housebound lady who did ironing for some income.

op go over to redit look at the dwp benefit groups
you have people that work for UC / PIP DwP they are very helpful and won’t judge

post what you are getting because I don’t think it correct You should be getting LCWRA with your UC it’s almost an extra 100 a week

If your only getting the basic universal credit and your ill / getting pip use your pip award as evidence for the work capability assement ( wCA )

apply for a WCA for your health makes sure you do asap as the amount you can claim will be a much less amount in april.

You will need a fit note from your doctor.
That should get you another 100 a week
then there is career allowance / carers element
one is taken off UC & one isn’t so so you need to make sure your getting the correct amount

If you are getting pip you should definitely be getting lcfwra, they do get it wrong and leave it off.Chase it up and hopefully you’ll have backdated money too. Good luck.

There seems to be evil discriminatory people every way you turn from your posts. Surely this can't be the reality of it.

Total be fair to the OP there is a lot of that about in officialdom, along with complete incompetence. So she's not necessarily wrong. It's just that if she gives up she's going to die so she has no option really but to push through it all and keep going.

I agree her husband has no real incentive to claim PIP. He's claiming carer's allowance so no expectation to work and he's eating just fine. It's OP who is apparently a job seeker, despite sounding like she's in no fit state to obtain or hold down a job at the moment and only eating twice a week, whilst her carer husband is too unwell to provide the necessary care for her. As you say, she's the one with the PIP but she's the one who's suffering the most right now. It's not right. He may have been a good husband in the past but she admits things have changed in recent years and her marriage is basically over. I got the impression that was without the issue of him becoming unwell, too, so not solely caused by his illness.

@purplepentagram I think that's the trap of benefits.

When children are included, especially if they qualify for any extra help, it can be quite generous, easily upwards of £1500pm after rent is paid.

Eg, My ds receives just shy of £3500 per month once rent is paid, but that reduces by 1 dc next year, and I'm always encouraging them to look to the future, and try to pick up more hours/ do some free courses whilst they can to improve their chances later on.

Obviously, though, unless the adults can/ are able to improve their employment prospects then it's a big shock once the children become adults and are no longer part of your claim as the amount for an adult is, by comparison, ridiculously low.

We had many years where our income didn't stretch far enough to pay for even the essentials, so I can sympathise with your current problem.

For Christmas, we focused on being together, and doing things that didn't cost much, eg, movie night at home with hot chocolate and marshmallows. I'd buy some Candy Canes from the pound shop (12 for £1) and use some to decorate the tree (cheaper than chocolate), and the dc would have 1 each in their hot chocolate.

We used to play cards and other games like pictionary, and we'd wrap up warm and go for a walk with the dog, then have a warm homemade Mince pie or jam tart once back.

I used to buy stuff over the year that they needed, eg, socks, gloves, knickers, a new PJ set and would wrap them all up individually as, especially when young, the fun is in the unwrapping.
They were allowed to open their PJs on Christmas Eve so they could wear them for Christmas Day, and we would end the evening reading the classic poem/story "The Night Before Christmas ".

Even though, things are easier for us now, we still keep to a lot of these traditions that we built up over the year.

Their favourite one is the once a year special hot chocolate that I make for watching our Christmas film (Love, Actually). For each mug, I melt a bar each of (cheap) dark and milk chocolate, I then add half a pot of cream and a handful of marshmallows, some Christmas spices, and melt it all together. Typically, even now, it costs less than a pound to make per mug🍫

Sorry it all feels so hard. It sucks.

@Chinsupmeloves those "seemingly able adults" are probably carers for their disabled children, who aren't in special school for shits and giggles. Plenty of disabled children in mainstream school or stuck at home unable to attend school, so for those children to have got a place at special school they must be in a bad way. Caring is a job. Claiming carer's allowance means you're providing care for 35 hrs a week minimum, in the case of children that's 35hrs over and above the normal amount of care a child of that age without disabilities would need. That's why they're not expected to look for work.

Although I'll point out that you have no idea how disabled someone may be just by looking at them. Maybe they do the drop off and pick up together because one of those adults is disabled too and needs constant supervision. Being able to smoke means nothing at all in terms of disability.

OP regarding your husband getting carer's allowance, if he's not doing the caring any more due to his own health he shouldn't be claiming it. I know it's the easiest option for him because it means he won't be expected to work, and I'm sure the extra income it provides is useful, but if he's not actually providing the care you need then you're going to need help from social services. I'd imagine you are far less likely to get that help if they think you're already getting 35hrs of care/wk from your husband. They're a nightmare for trying to push all caring/supporting duties onto friends and family anyway. You're going to have to ram the point home that your husband is too ill to care for you, in order for social services to give you any help.

Anyone thinking OP is a troll and that there aren't tons of people living lives like this and feeling powerless to change anything, is an idiot. And extremely lucky that their social circle is so far removed from anything like this situation that they can't even comprehend how it happens.

Well this is the real reason you are not eating then isn't it. Didn't make sense you saying you could only have 2 meals a week while also in another post saying DH is eating like normal as you are prioritising his diabetes. While you are the 1 claiming the PIP that should be put to use making sure your condition is benefited. If you have low immune system then you must prioritise eating something a day each week. Veg can be pretty cheap and go a long way. Your health is just as important as DH. If he is cooking meals for himself, I just can't imagine any partner watching you go with nothing for 2 days while he tucks in himself regularly each day.

Does he control the finances by any chance?

A lot of what you say sounds like you are putting barriers in the way of seeking help instead of pushing to get what you need. There seems to be evil discriminatory people every way you turn from your posts. Surely this can't be the reality of it. Or maybe you are perceiving people that way.

A quick Google search will tell you every council has a scheme where you can get reduction based on income, the amount will vary, but you would get something. You should also be entitled to child benefit for a 20 year old in college as long as he is studying A-level, the equivalent or less. Which sounds like is the case if he is still going GCSE. But what is he actually hoping to achieve by still studying for GCSE at this age? Is there a career path he is on his way to with this? If you can't afford to fund him now then he cant afford to keep trying this delaying getting work or a paid apprenticeship. If he was studying for that then he could have done the GCSE alongside.

Sounds like neither of them actually care about trying to get any extra in as their eating and housed, good old mum is happy to sacrifice so we are fine. Time for you to stop that at the very least. If you are weird about food maybe you need to split the food budget and take your 3rd to get things you can eat. If they get less then they will soon feel the need to do what they can to help sort this out. Sounds like it's all on you and you can't deal with people you have tried so far. Their turn

Housing costs element is part of UC now, housing benefit is only available for pensioners @HellsBellsAndCatsWhiskers

I know that. But if some people aren't heating their homes at all, but are still paying a standing charge for gas, that's not helping them. Using that money for some little bit of heat might, in some cases, be better than using it to pay a standing charge that gives you nothing.

I don't really see the point in rationing heating any more. It costs so much anyway because of the standing charge, I figured I may as well pay a little more to switch it on and actually heat the place.

It's awful that we live in a country where people can't afford heating. It's not optional in the UK it's necessary for good health.

What qualifications do you have? What work have you done previously just to give us an idea of experience?

Sorry if I've missed this but dont you get housing benefit? How much is your monthly rent? And how much are you paying towards rent off your UC? As a pp has said, if you do an in/out budget planner here, we can maybe help.

@Chinsupmeloves when l read your comment, first thought, how is that going to help op, in anyway.
There’s so much misinformation out there and you’re adding to it and no l don’t believe your comment is coming from a good place.

It really is quite mad, as not everyone is entitled to the Carer's Element either. It's also used as income if applying for council tax support, so often causes folks real problems.

I can see why OP's husband is a bit daunted as the whole thing can be quite overwhelming, hence so much goes unclaimed every year.

Thanks for confirming this. I was pretty sure it was still the case that the Carer’s Allowance is taken away, and a much lower ‘Carers Element’ is then added on to the person’s UC.

However, the Carer’s Allowance is the gateway to getting the Carers Element iyswim.

It’s all quite mad.

I used to do all that for a living. Get down to Citizens Advice and see what they can get for you. Husband should try to get PIP. You should try to get everything you might be entitled to. CAB are good. Also maybe get a bit of free counselling and tell GP you are depressed. And try to find out carers networks and disability networks in your area. You need to share how you feel with supportive people as you sound very depressed.

To confirm, from my experience, these are parents I've been there with at school gates for years and have had many conversations with. We have become friends, our kids meet up. They do receive a lot of money, their taxis are paid for, they do have 3 DC at the specialist school, FSMs, highest rate DLA and get of extra stuff from the school, as described.

Sorry but these are all facts, not judgement. Observation, some people find it difficult to look after themselves yet alone able to hold down a job, but it doesn't mean they aren't loving parents. Their focus in life is to care for their children, and as having difficulties themselves, it's often the case their DC will have as well and need support.

My whole point was that there is thankfully a system in place to help with this and so many benefits.

Please, I really am not unpleasant at all, I care, I just respond to posts from my own experiences. If any way offensive I apologise, I'm far from perfect with my own diagnosis. Xx

The Carer's Allowance of £360... is deducted from her UC, as it's considered income.

I

I believe there are more people like op and her family who need a level of intervention to access appropriate help than you would like to believe.

There's a lot of abelist bullshite spouted on this thread, some of you lot should be ashamed.